


curse of the black pearl

by nygmadaydreams



Category: Gotham (TV), Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Blood and Violence, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kidnapping, M/M, Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pirates, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-03-29 20:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19027234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nygmadaydreams/pseuds/nygmadaydreams
Summary: Edward Nashton is living an awfully mundane life until he gets it flipped around by an unwelcome visitor.Captain Penguin is searching for the final piece of the puzzle that will turn his life around.They might just be able to help each other.Or the Pirates of the Caribbean AU no one asked for or suspected.





	1. fog bound

**Author's Note:**

> this was initially inspired by random-fandom-art on tumblr / martytee_art on instagram! they have some amazing pirate!nygmob art up on their social media, go check it out :) i also read All That Glitters by TheDVirus here on AO3 and it further motivated me to write this.
> 
> this won't exactly follow the plot or the characters of POTC, it was more-so just inspired by the general principle of the movie! in short, i couldn't decide if i wanted oswald to be jack sparrow, will turner or captain barbossa so what did i do? violently mashed all three characters together and it turned into captain Penguin lmaoo  
> edward has the general role of elizabeth swann!  
> there is also a lot of "canon divergence" and added scenes, some familiar dialogue from both gotham and potc, etc. ;) enjoy!
> 
> [the chapter titles are inspired by the official movie soundtrack names]

_The wind hit the sails so aggressively it could have blown Edward over if he wasn’t used to it. He was barely ten years old, and quite the scrawny boy despite his height. Still, he held his head up high as he stared out to the ocean. He felt like home whenever he was in his father’s ship. The salty air and the rippling rain made him feel more alive than anything their home mansion had to offer. He draped his body over the prow and breathed in the air, closing his eyes._

_“You oughta be careful over there, Mr. Edward!” He jolted a little upon hearing his name and turned around to face his father’s first mate, Mr. Alfred Pennyworth. He gave the man a half-hearted smile and complied, stepping further away from the railing. Alfred looked at him cautiously and shook his head as he walked up to the young man._

_“Aren’t you meant to be under the deck?” the first mate asked and crossed his arms as he reached Edward’s spot._

_“It’s boring there...”, Edward muttered and looked at the sea again. “I like it better here.”_

_“There’s a storm rising”, Alfred said knowingly._

_“How do you know that?” Edward asked and tilted his head upwards to face the man better._

_“You get a sense for things like that over the years”, Pennyworth pat him on the shoulder with a dry smile. Ed smiled too._

_“See? Now I have to stay on deck. So I can get the sense.” Alfred chuckled and rolled his eyes._

_“Edward!” Ed turned around dreadfully. He recognized that voice, and hearing it was never a good sign. Captain George Nashton, his father, was walking towards them with a disapproving expression. Ed frowned. “What did I bloody tell you, son? You stay under the deck until we reach the port!” he exclaimed and grabbed Edward’s upper arm tightly._

_“I was bored!” Ed tried to protest, but his father was having none of it._

_“Don’t you talk back to me, young man”, he said and glared down at the boy. “You will stay in your cabin and read a book.”_

_“I already read all of them”, Ed mumbled, not facing his father anymore. “If you never let me stay on deck, why even take me with you, then?”_

_“I do not have to explain myself to a child like yourself”, George scoffed and pinched Edward’s arm tighter. “Down. Now. Or do you want Pennyworth to carry you, is that it?”_

_“No, fath-“_

_“Captain!” Alfred interrupted their quarrel and got the attention of both the son and the father. George furrowed his brows and tilted his head, waiting for what was so important that he had been bothered in the middle of a “teaching lesson”._

_“Look”, Pennyworth told him and pointed over the deck. The captain did as instructed, and his eyes widened. It was a shipwreck, looking like it would collapse any second now. Flames were feeding on the wood and the crew alike. It had been so foggy they could have missed it if it hadn’t been on their course._

_“Dear lord”, George whispered and shook his head to collect his thoughts. “We help them, Mr. Pennyworth. Orders!”_

_“Yessir”, Alfred did a salute and both of the men rushed down the stairs on the main deck. Edward had been completely forgotten at that point and he just stared at the destruction before him unblinkingly. He glanced over the rail and his heart skipped a beat. Right there in the water was a boy, probably not much older than him, struggling to stay afloat on top of a plank. His eyes were closed, skin pale as snow, black hair draping across his face like seaweed._

_“Father!” Edward shouted and looked around him frantically. He caught his father’s attention and their eyes met. “Man overboard!” Ed yelled and pointed into the waves beneath them. It didn’t take long for his father to give an order and for the boy to be fished out of the water. He looked even smaller and paler up close, when a pair of sailors placed him on the command deck. Ed was struggling to see through the crowd._

_“Is he dead?” he heard his father ask Alfred. Pennyworth leaned in and placed his hand on the boy’s neck._

_“There is a heartbeat”, Alfred announced. “Poor thing’s probably just passed out.” A sigh of relief could be heard within the sailors. That seemed to be the extent of George Nashton’s hospitality, because he quickly ordered his crew to return to the task at hand and figure out what had happened to the rest of the crew._

_“You”, Alfred said and grabbed Edward’s shoulder. Ed looked at him pleadingly._

_“Please don’t bring me downstairs...”_

_Alfred looked at him for a moment and sighed resignedly. “Look after him, will you?” He gestured over the boy._

_“Okay”, Ed nodded._

_“Good lad.” He got another pat on the back before Alfred ran down the stairs again. As soon as he was left alone, Edward rushed up to the boy and knelt on the wet deck beside his head. He examined the boy carefully. He was maybe thirteen, if looks were anything to go by. He had freckles and long eyelashes, as well as a fairly sharp face for a kid. He looked cold despite being unconscious. It would probably be best if he was changed out of his ruined clothes._

_Ed brushed off his coat and gently put it around the small boy. He brushed a hand across his forehead. The boy was very pretty, but that wasn’t something he should focus on right now. He couldn’t help but notice how dirty and worn the boy’s clothes were. There were holes and loose threads, even something that looked like blood._

_Something that didn’t quite go along the messy look was a golden necklace disappearing underneath  his shirt. The curiosity took the best of Edward and he reached inside the boy’s shirt and pulled the necklace out. His mouth fell open when he stared at the ornament hanging from the string. It was an intriguing piece of jewellery, seemingly pure gold and shaped like a skull and crossbones._

_“You’re a pirate”, Ed whispered and looked at the boy’s face again. He had heard so many things about pirates, about how cruel and terrifying they were, but nothing about the boy screamed anything like that. He looked so innocent and kind... Ed didn’t know what hit him, but before he could stop himself, he had snatched the necklace from the kid’s neck and placed it into his pocket. Just for safekeeping, he told himself. He would return it once the boy felt better. And it wouldn’t be good for his dad to see that they had fished up a pirate._

_Suddenly, the boy’s body spasmed and he opened his eyes, coughing and wheezing. Ed jumped back and covered his mouth so he wouldn’t scream. The boy looked around with growing panic in his eyes until they landed on Edward. They were the most peculiar pair of eyes Ed had ever looked into. So green and big..._

_“Hey”, Edward whispered and grabbed the boy by his shoulder in order to calm him down. The boy shook in his grip, looking more terrified every second. “You’re safe. You’re okay, I promise”, Ed kept going and squeezed his shoulder in reassurance. It seemed to help, because the boy began to calm down and he flopped back on the deck, panting quietly._

_“You’re on my father’s ship. It’s okay”, Edward explained and gave a small smile. “My name is Edward. What is yours?”_

_“O-Oswald”, the boy got out and blinked a few times. “Oswald Van Dahl.”_

_“I will take care of you, Oswald”, Edward promised and brushed his thumb across Oswald’s cheek in a soothing manner. “You’re safe with me.”_

_“O-Okay”, Oswald whispered. With that, his head rolled over and he fell unconscious again. Edward stared at him for a moment, still smiling a little. Had he made a friend?_

_“Has he talked?” His father’s voice startled him, and he jumped up from the floor, facing the man._

_“Um. He woke up for a minute and told me his name is Oswald. That’s all”, he said and put his hands in his pants pockets. His fingers brushed across the necklace and he shuddered a bit._

_“Alright”, George said and looked at Oswald for a second. “Now, go downstairs. Final warning, Edward.”_

_“Okay”, Ed said immediately and practically ran across the deck on his way out. He needed a moment to process everything that had gone down in the past ten minutes. He had met a pirate?! A real pirate... As he gave one final glance at the sea, he flinched. There was another ship in the fog. One with fully black sails. It was gone before Edward could even fathom what he’d seen._

Edward had had a hard time falling asleep last evening. The thought of the following day’s formalities had kept him awake until the first hours of the morning, and once he finally had managed to fall asleep, he had seen the most peculiar dream. It was more of a memory, really. He hadn’t thought of Oswald Van Dahl in years, but now that he was laying awake in his bed he couldn’t get the thought of the boy’s face off of him. It had been what – eight years, since he last saw Oswald? The interaction on the deck had been the last one they ever had. As soon as they had arrived in Gotham docklands the boy had been taken away by authorities, and that was it. Not any amount of whining or tears would bring his new friend back.

Edward sighed and rubbed his eyes before rolling over and getting out of bed. The first thing he did was put on his glasses, and the second was to open the first drawer on his nightstand. He flipped the hidden switch inside, and a secret hatch opened. He hadn’t opened it in years, so the drawer was dusty and filled with cobwebs. He cringed as he lowered his hand into the drawer and pulled out a necklace. The same one Oswald had been wearing. It looked pretty much identical to that day at sea, if one didn’t count the dust all over it. He blew on it and rubbed the most dirt away before walking up to his mirror and putting the necklace on. It looked nice against his pale skin, peeking through his sleep shirt.

“Edward?!”

He nearly had a heart attack when he heard the sudden shout from behind his door. It repeated again after only a second, accompanied with a loud knocking. He rushed to grab a morning gown and almost knocked over one of his bookcases in his hurry. He barely managed to hide the medallion underneath his shirt before the door already opened and revealed his father.

“Were you still in bed?” George Nashton asked as he stepped in and looked at his son’s dishevelled appearance. Ed brushed a strand of long, curly hair behind his ear and coughed.

“Christ, son. Pull yourself together”, George ordered and snapped his fingers at two of the handmaidens that were standing at the doorway. One of them quickly went to pull the curtains open while the other planted a big package at the feet of Edward’s bed.

“What’s this?” Edward asked and opened the package curiously.

“You do know that today is a very important day, right?” George asked and turned around after peering out of the window for a while. “And a beautiful day at that”, he gestured at the sun.

“Is this an outfit?” Edward raised the cloth out of the packaging and tried to hide his frown. If he had anything to say, the coat looked ridiculous. So many accents and frills and... ugh. It was so his dad.

“The finest England had to offer. You must look good for Miss Isabella’s birthday party today”, his father said.

“...Right. Thank you”, Edward forced a small smile on his lips and apparently it was genuine enough because his father no longer bugged him.

“Get ready. We’re expected to be there in an hour.” With that, George Nashton was gone as soon as he’d arrived. Edward let out a resigned sigh and turned to one of the handmaidens.

“I guess I’ll... _get ready_ ”, he muttered and handed the woman his outfit as a whole.

Two things were miracles. First, neither of the handmaidens had seen his necklace during the fitting of the suit and second, that the outfit even fit Edward. His father had a tendency to forget of skinny yet lanky his son was, and usually every suit ended up awkward on his. Somehow, now the pants were only quarter of an inch too short on him, and his shoes hid it pretty well.

It didn’t change the fact that he still hated the outfit with a passion. He twirled around the full-body mirror with a disapproving look on his face. A white dress shirt with a frilly collar, on top of which a black waistcoat with silver accents. He had managed to slip the medallion in-between those two layers and it was barely visible. For some reason, he had begun feeling attacked to it. On top of his waistcoat was the – in his opinion – monstrous coat itself, with tons of detail and embroidering and whatnot. At least it was his favorite color, a rich green, so his father wasn’t a total screw-up.

“You look amazing, Master Edward”, one of the handmaidens said with a wide smile. It didn’t reassure Ed, but he dropped the subject by just nodding and leaving the room.

Edward hated parties with a burning passion. They were uncomfortable, loud, crowded and unsanitary. So many people gossiping about one another in such a small place, getting intoxicated and smoking cigarettes. He would have found an excuse not to attend, but his father hadn’t bought the previous two ones either and he rather didn’t get a spanking at the age of eighteen, so he sucked it up and followed his father into the courtyard of the Kringle manor. It was situated fairly close to the palace, right on top of a beautiful cliff that attached to the shoreline.

“Master Edward!” He dreaded turning around when someone called his name. It turned out to be the birthday girl herself, Miss Isabella Kringle. She had her blonde hair on a high updo and was wearing a classy rose-coloured ballgown. Edward was secretly glad it wasn’t one of those with an enormous petticoat that expanded like a hot air balloon.

“Miss Isabella”, he forced a smile on his face once again and let the woman give her a short hug. He knew neither of them wanted to actually go through with these antics, but it was expected of them. There certainly were a lot of eyes on them at this moment. “You look very pretty.”

Isabella smiled. “Thank you. You’re so sweet.” Edward noticed he hadn’t received a compliment back. They kept the small talk going for a little while before Isabella disappeared back into the crowd; apparently she was expected to give a speech or something. Edward managed to slip out of the ballroom in the middle of it and found himself on a huge balcony just over the cliff. It truly was beautiful out here. It was rare that it didn’t rain in Gotham, so it was something to be rather happy about.

His mind was a foggy mess. His thoughts kept circling around Isabella, or maybe her sister Kristen. The two of them shared a striking resemblance despite not being twins – good genes, Edward assumed – and Ed couldn’t help but admit the fact that he would have much rather spent time with Kristen. Too bad she had been wed off to Sir Tom Dougherty from the navy last year. It didn’t even seem like she had attended her sister’s party.

The problem wasn’t Isabella herself, but more-so the fact that everyone was expecting Edward to propose to the girl at any moment now that she had turned eighteen. Everyone but Edward were already planning their wedding. The thought made Edward nauseous. He didn’t care about marriage. There wasn’t necessarily anything from with Isabella Kringle, she was beautiful and smart, but something about their relationship just felt off. Maybe it was the fact that Isabella knew about Edward’s pathetic crush on her big sister.

“Did you like my speech?” He turned his head around and looked at Isabella who was standing a few feet away from him, hands behind her back. Ed gave her a tired smile and nodded.

“You must have really sharp ears, Edward.” She stood next to him and looked at him with a smirk. “I saw you sneak out here as soon as it started.”

“I’m sorry”, Edward said and blushed a bit. “I get uncomfortable in crowds.”

“I know”, Isabella said quietly and placed a hand on Edward’s arm. “So”, she continued and nudged him playfully. “What did you get me for my birthday?”

“Not a ring if that’s what you think”, Edward laughed dryly even thought there was nothing funny about the situation.

“Your father will be pissed”, Isabella said, elongating every syllable in pissed. She wasn’t very ladylike in Ed’s presence and he truly appreciated it.

“I know right”, Ed sighed. “I just... It’s hard. I want to do what’s right.”

“You want to do what’s right for you, or what’s right for Gotham?” Isabella asked. The words struck Edward somewhere deep in his core. That was an excellent question, one of which he didn’t know the answer to.

“I’m just not ready”, he muttered, sounding more or less like a pathetic child.

“Me neither”, Isabella admitted. “Do you want to hear a secret? You have to promise to keep it.”

“I promise”, Edward turned to look at the woman properly. She had a melancholic smile on her face.

“There is actually someone I’m quite fond of. You know, romantically”, she revealed. Edward’s eyes widened a bit.

“Who?” he insisted.

“Her name is...”

“It’s a girl?” Ed asked with a slight surprise in his voice.

“Yes”, Isabella blushed slightly. She looked for signs of disgust or disappointment on Edward’s face, but when she couldn’t find any, she continued. “Her name is Silver.”

“Silver St. Cloud?” Edward asked, getting more and more flustered by the minute.

“Yes”, Isabella said and gritted her teeth. “She’s lovely. She gave me such a thoughtful gift just earlier today and my heart felt like it was going to burst.”

“I’m happy for you”, Edward said, and he wasn’t lying. Falling in love was an amazing feeling, but much like his case with Kristen, he was quite sure nothing would ever go down with Isabella and Silver. The girl was popular and rich, lived alone in a big house after her parents had died and all her other living relatives had disappeared into the sea a long time ago. She was sixteen if Edward’s intel was correct and had already been approached by multiple potential bachelors; all of which she had turned down.

“Don’t be”, Isabella shook her head. “My parents would never accept such a relationship.”

“Keep it secret, then”, Ed said like it was the simplest thing on Earth.

“I doubt she even feels the same way!” Isabella snapped and looked at the sea, utterly defeated. “But God, is she adorable.”

“An objectively pretty young woman”, Edward admitted. Isabella laughed at the wording.

“You’re so not into women, are you, Edward?” she asked suddenly and caught Edward off guard. He looked at her, slightly mortified. Their eyes met and Isabella’s tone of voice quickly shifted. “Sorry. Inappropriate to ask.”

“No, it’s alright”, Edward said and put his hands on the balcony railing. “I suppose you’re correct. Well, there was one woman.”

“Yes, I know, my sister”, Isabella got the spark back in her voice and snickered. “Anyone else?”

“No.” Edward glanced at the blonde. “No one has ever made me feel like that.”

“You’ll find someone lovely”, Isabella put her hand on top of him and smiled. “I promise you that, Edward. Good things happen to good people.”


	2. the medallion calls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zsasz is partly in the role of pintel because i love both of them. can you tell, lmao?

_Good things happen to good people_ , Edward thought as he sat in his room that night. Isabella’s voice had echoed in his head for hours now, even though he had felt the party what felt like ages ago. The woman had been right about one thing; his father was indeed pissed off that there had been no proposal. They had gotten into a fight as soon as they got into the carriage on their way back home and it had ended with George Nashton hitting his son across the face with a walking stick.

He heard a light knock on the door and made sure the medallion was still safely tucked underneath his night gown before giving the go-ahead on opening the door. He put down his book and looked at the handmaiden standing at the doorway with a candlestick.

“Still not asleep, Master Edward?” she asked as she stepped closer.

“Mmm. Not tired”, Edward admitted and looked at his book again. “I want to finish this one first.”

“I’m sure today was a lot of fun for you”, the maiden said and placed the candleholder on Edward’s nightstand next to the oil lamp that was about to flame out. “Did you have a pleasant time with Miss Isabella?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Did she like her gift?”

“Mm-hmm.”

The handmaiden ran a hand through her braid and tilted her head. The conversation was going nowhere. “She is such a lovely young lady, isn’t she?” She hesitated for a second before gently taking Edward’s book and placing it on the nightstand. Edward finally paid proper attention to her.

“I don’t know. I suppose yes?” Edward said with a hint of irritation in his voice. He did not want to think about Isabella anymore. He just wanted to drown in thriller novels until he fell asleep, a book still in hand.

“There sure are a bunch of beautiful people in Gotham’s crème”, the handmaiden said with a smile and fluffed Edward’s pillow for him. “Don’t you agree, Master?”

“Sure”, Edward said and rubbed his eyes. “Whatever you say.”

“...You’re not very keen in Miss Isabella, are you, Master Edward?”

“This conversation is over”, Edward said firmly and grabbed his pillow stubbornly. As soon as she saw the look on the handmaiden’s face, he felt like a giant douche. Oh well, he thought as she stood up and hurried out the door with a quick “sleep well, Master.”

Somewhere in the midst of finishing the last chapter of the book and still thinking about Isabella’s confession about Silver St. Cloud, Edward had managed to fall asleep. He came to a wake when he heard a loud bang outside. His eyes fluttered open and for a second he felt like he was still in a dream when he groped around the nightstand for the oil lamp. He managed to light it and climbed out of bed. He furrowed his brows; something wasn’t right at the port. He pulled back a curtain and peered outside. The sun was long gone, and clouds had painted the night sky grey, a sheer light from the moon shining through.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw what was happening outside. There was a ship that had arrived at the docklands and was now spouting out cannon fire. The town square was an absolute mess from what he could see in the dark. The screaming of Gothamites could be heard all the way to the palace. Fire. Blood. Corpses. He backed out of the window and almost let out a scream, because someone grabbed him from behind at that exact moment. He wrestled himself free and almost hit the intruder with the lamp before he recognized her as the same handmaiden from earlier.

“Master Edward!” she yipped with a panicked voice. “Thank God, y-you’re alright!”

“What is happening?” Edward demanded to know, voice also slightly higher than average.

“They’re coming for you, Master Edward!” she whispered. “The pirates!”

“Wait, what? Why are they coming for _me_?” Edward asked and raised an eyebrow. The handmaiden was cradling him in her arms, shaking.

“Because you’re the governor’s son! They want ransom money, Master”, she explained like it was obvious. “You must hide! Some of them are already inside the estate.”

“No, wait”, Edward insisted and grabbed the woman’s arm. “ _You_ need to hide, too. Promise me you’ll stay hidden no matter what!”

The woman nodded hesitantly, and Edward pointed at the bed. “You’ll fit underneath there. Don’t worry about me.” She nodded again and did as she was told. Edward made sure she wasn’t visible from the doorway and ran into the next room, scanning his surroundings. He didn’t have much time. He already heard someone trying to get through the locked door and Edward didn’t believe they were going to pause to find a key. The most logical place for a hideout he could think of was the big closet standing at the corner of his dressing room. He could probably fit inside of it if he crouched a bit.

There was no time to come up with a better plan, because he heard the door give in and footsteps arrive in his bedroom. He snuck into the wardrobe and closed the door as well as he could. He did leave a small crack so he could peer into the room without getting caught.

“It’s _fancy_ in here! Look at this shit”, he heard a voice talk in his bedroom.

“Did you forget what the hell we came here to do, Zsasz?” another one spoke with an irritated tone.

“A necklace ain’t got legs, Popsicle. It isn’t gonna run even if I have a snack.” A sigh. “Oh wait, never mind. Forgot.” Edward furrowed his eyebrows. Were they not after him, but after the medallion? How did they know it was in here? No one had acknowledged it for eight years... Not until today, when he took it out of the safe and wore it. Was it enchanted?

“The necklace doesn’t run, but the one _wearing_ it does, dumbass.”

The two men’s footsteps entered the dressing room and for the first time Edward could see the men he was hiding from. One of them was white-haired and pale as snow, other completely bald and wearing nothing but black leather. They were both carrying weaponry – knives and guns strapped to their clothing. Edward held his breath.

“Come oooon”, the bald man called out. “Come to daddy.”

“Don’t ever say that again”, the white-haired man said with a shudder. The baldie laughed.

“We know you’re here, honey.” It was Ed’s time to shudder. Did they think they were going after a woman? Either way he did not enjoy the pet name, especially in the context of the situation. What would they do if they found him? Would they kill him? Rape him?

“Are you talking to the necklace or the wearer?”

“You decide”, the bald man said and stopped on his tracks all of sudden. Slowly the dark eyes rose and looked straight at the crack in the wardrobe. Edward felt like his heart was going to burst out of his ribcage. The leather-wearing man took careful steps until he was right in front of the closet. He looked Edward dead in the eyes. A huge grin plastered in his face.

“Well hello there, honey.” Ed had about a second time to come up with a plan when the man swung the door open. He grabbed Edward by the collar and raised a gun, but Edward was faster.

“Parlay!”

“...Huh?” The man tilted his head and looked at him like he was speaking in tongues. Edward raised his hands in a surrender. He did not want them to think he had some ulterior motive.

“I invoke the right of parlay! According to the Code of the Brethren, set down by the pirates Maroni and Falcone, you must take me to your Captain!” Edward truly didn’t know where this amount of bravery was coming from.

“We know the code”, the blond-haired man tuned in, not lowering his gun for a moment. Edward looked at the bald man in the eye, a mixture of pleading and demanding.

“I-If an adversary demands parlay, you can do them no harm until the parlay is complete”, Edward continued, playing with his luck a little bit. It was bloody good he read so much...

“It would appear you know the code too”, the bald man said, slightly impressed.

“To blazes with the bloody code!” the blonde snapped and raised  his gun forward. Edward’s heart freaked out again. The bald man raised his hand and stopped the other from taking further action.

“He wants to be taken to the Captain, and he’ll go without a fuss.” He looked at Edward, ‘ _right?’_. Edward nodded.

“We must honor the _code_ ”, the bald man said with a grin and finally pulled Edward out of the wardrobe.

Amid the thunder of cannon fire, a longboat slipped through the fog. Edward sat in the prow, wondering why no one had tied him up. He listened to his captors speak and was surprised by how casual they both seemed. Especially the bald man, apparently named Zsasz, was keen on throwing in banter and jokes any chance he got. He was sharpening his knife and doing no physical labour whatsoever, leaving the job of rowing to the other man. Zsasz had only called the blonde “Popsicle”, but Ed found it difficult to believe that it was actually his name. Probably just an annoying nickname.

The fog started to part. Edward sharpened his eyes and looked up to see – The Black Pearl. The ship was as threatening and magnificent as the stories had told him. A tall galleon, its black sails looming high above him. At the bow there was an ornately carved figurehead of a woman, arm held high, a small bird taking wing from her outstretched hand. It was every bit as terrifying and beautiful as Edward had imagined when he had read tales about this vessel. He was almost too entranced to be scared at that point.

“Ain’t she a beauty?” Zsasz had noticed the look on Edward’s face. They had arrived right at the base of the ship and he was busy attacking a pair of lines dangling from a winch to the boat. Ed wasn’t sure if it was a rhetorical question, so he stayed quiet as the crew started pulling their longboat above the deck rail.

As soon as he saw the deck, Edward’s fear returned with a bang. Quite literally, because just as the boat came to a stop, a cannon fired below them and made the ship tremble. Zsasz jumped out of the boat and bowed to the crew ogling at them. He turned and offered his hand to Edward. Hesitantly, he took it and stepped down on the deck. He huddled his dressing robe against his body, awfully aware of everyone staring at him in his night shirt, loose pants and dressing gown. His wavy hair was open and a bit messy from the sleep... Why did he care so much about the way he looked in front of a bunch of pirates, anyway?

“I didn’t know we was taking captives”, sounded a voice from the crowd. Edward turned to look at the man; a heavyset and tall male of pure muscle, staring at all three of them with a disapproving look. Edward looked at Zsasz.

“He’s invoked the right of parlay... with Captain Penguin”, Zsasz informed the other man and grinned, patting Ed on the shoulder like a father sending his son to boarding school. Edward looked around the deck, because he was quite scared of looking at the big, broody man again. His eyes stopped on the poop deck. He was barely able to see in the fog, but something shifted by the wheel. A silhouette of a man, seemingly listening to them.

The silhouetted figure moved towards the stairs and Edward couldn’t get his eyes off them. A cloud of smoke obscured the limping body, and then, as if he skipped the stairs altogether, the man strode out of the smoke on the main deck, pushing through the crew. He stopped right next to the man that had spoken to Zsasz earlier.

So this was Penguin, Edward thought. For some reason he had always thought of the legendary Penguin as an old man, but he didn’t look much older than Edward – maybe in his mid-twenties. Despite the bright purple of his waistcoat and the multiple colourful feathers on his hat, he definitely didn’t strike as a man you’d want to meet in a dark alley – or anywhere, for that matter. Edward, more terrified than ever, couldn’t look away from his eyes. Or more specifically, eye. One was obscured with a black eyepatch, but the other was a piercing shade of green, clearly visible even in the fog and smoke. Edward cleared his throat and mustered all his courage, opening his mouth to speak.

“I am here to-“

The previously spoken man slapped him straight across the face. His hand didn’t feel natural and it took Edward by surprise. He gasped and put his hand up as a defence mechanism, scared of getting hit again.

“You’ll speak when spoken to!” the huge man shouted. It was more of a growl than anything human-like. Edward expected another slap but was surprised when Penguin grabbed his wrist with seemingly enough squeeze to cut off the circulation. The man didn’t even flinch upon the contact, just glanced at his Captain.

“And you’ll not lay a hand of those under the protection of parlay, Butch”, he spoke in a chilling tone of voice. The man referred to as Butch snatched his hand free and stepped back with a long exhale through his nose.

“Aye, sir.”

Penguin turned to Edward and smiled brightly. Edward could make out one golden tooth in the row of white ones. As of now, Penguin was really playing into all pirate stereotypes on the map; a hat with feathers, an eyepatch, a peg leg that Edward only now noticed. No wonder the man had been limping.

“My apologies, sir”, he spoke and took a step closer to Edward. “As you were saying, before you were so rudely interrupted?”

“Captain Penguin... I have come to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against Port Gotham”, Edward held his head up high and tried his best not to tremble like a leaf in the wind. He tried to study the shorter man’s expression and learned it was quite the easy task. He looked both impressed and amused, a small smirk laid on his lips and a tilt on his neck.

“There was a lot of long words in there, sir, and we’re not but humble pirates.” He leaned on his beak-like walking stick. “What is it you want?”

“I want you to leave. And never come back”, Edward said firmly and tried to appear as confident as humanly possible. Penguin looked at him for a couple of second before bursting into howling laughter. His crew followed suit. Edward truly didn’t see what was so funny about the words.

“I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request”, Penguin said after the laughter died down. He stepped right in front of Edward and peered at the man. Edward felt like he was being looked down on despite him being nearly a head taller than the beak-nosed man before him. “Means ‘ _no_ ’”, Penguin finished helpfully when Ed was looking at him with a puzzled expression.

“Very well.” Before anyone could do anything, Edward slipped the medallion off and darted to the side rail, through Zsasz and the blonde. He dangled the necklace over the side of the ship. The remaining laughter in the crew quickly died down. Penguin looked at him with a piercing glare, finding it difficult to stay composed.

“I’ll drop it!” Edward announced and gestured at the medallion for emphasis.

“My holds are bursting with swag. That bit of shine matters to me... Why?” Penguin asked and grinned like a shark despite looking slightly nervous behind the facade. Edward also smiled a little. He had the upper hand of the situation, finally.

“Because it’s what you’re searching for”, he said simply. “You’ve been searching for it for years. I recognize this ship! I saw it eight years ago, when we were crossing from England.”

Penguin suddenly looked incredibly interested in the conversation. He took a cautious step forward, but Edward gave him a menacing glare as a warning. “Did you now?” Penguin asked him.

Edward kept on glaring. He was getting nowhere with the conversation. “Fine”, he said after having a change of heart. “I suppose if this is worthless, there is no reason to keep it.” He flipped the medallion up and off his finger...

“NO!” Penguin screeched suddenly and jolted his hand forward. Edward caught the medallion by the chain and smiled at him triumphantly. Penguin pursed his lips together before, closed his eyes for a moment and let out a breath before composing himself in front of his crew. He forced a smile on his face and beamed at Edward.

“You have a name, mister?” he asked as Edward took back his hand and held tighter onto the medallion. He stepped closer to Penguin and swallowed.

“Edward N-“, he stopped on his tracks for a second and thought. Even if they wanted just the medallion, who would say they would just let go the governor’s son now that they had him? “Edward Van Dahl”, he let out the first name that came to mind and licked his lips. “I’m a servant in the governor’s household.”

Penguin reacted to the name in an unexpected way. For a quick second he was going to say something, but it seemed as if he changed his mind. Zsasz leaned in and whispered something in his ear. Edward swallowed audibly. He wasn’t a good liar. Would they buy it? The Captain glanced at Zsasz and nodded with a tight smile on his lips.

“You’ve got sand, for a servant”, Penguin finally said and pushed Zsasz away from him.

Edward bowed his head. They both seemed to know it was in a mocking way. “Thank you, sir”, he said and smiled.

“And how does a servant come to own a trinket such as that?” the eyepatch-wearing man asked and nodded at the medallion in Edward’s hands. “A family heirloom, perhaps?”

Edward blinked. “Of course”, he said and sounded slightly offended. They shared a look and he tensed his shoulders. “I didn’t steal it, if that’s what you mean.”

“No, no, nothing like that”, Penguin quickly said after seemingly coming to a decision. “Very well. You hand that over, we’ll put your town to our rudder and never return.”

Edward eyed him suspiciously. “Can I trust you?”

“It’s _you_ who invoked the parlay!” Penguin raised his arm and shook his head with an amused expression. “Believe me, Sir, you’d best hand it over, now... or these will be the last friendly words you’ll hear!” he growled the last part right on Edward’s face.

Edward hesitated, but soon realized he had no choice. Penguin had every chance to shoot him right then and there and throw him off the ship, and he had been generous enough to not do such a thing yet. Edward held out the medallion. Penguin grabbed it in an instant and clutched it in his fist like hope.

“Our bargain...?” Edward initiated after it looked like Penguin could spend the rest of the night looking at his precious necklace. The raven-haired man grinned devilishly, but then nodded and turned to Butch.

“Still the guns and stow ‘em! Signal the men, set the flags, and make good to clear port!” he ordered. It was like God himself had been listening to his every word, because for the first time since the attack began, the booming of the guns ceased, in an instant. Edward was surprised, and relieved. The crew of pirated hustled around them to follow orders. Suddenly Edward realized that they were, in fact, moving already. Penguin looked pleased and turned away.

“Wait!” Edward shouted and hurried after him. “You must return me to shore! According to the rules of the Order of the Brethren-“

Penguin wheeled on him. “First. Your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement, and so I ‘ _must’_ do nothing.” He stepped closer to Edward who took a step back on instinct. “Secondly: you must be a pirate for the pirate’s code to apply. And you’re not. And thirdly...”, he grinned, revealing even more golden and silver teeth.

“The code is more what you’d call... _guidelines_ , than actual rules. Welcome to the Black Pearl, Mister Van Dahl.”

Edward stared in speechless terror as the Black Pearl began turning out to sea, Gotham docklands quickly disappearing behind it. He squealed when a strong pair of arms grabbed him from behind. It turned out to be Butch, who began forcefully dragging him along the deck into the captain’s cabin. Edward shouted in protest, but the man clasped a strong hand over his mouth and silenced him once and for all.


	3. penguin is hungry

Edward stalked the cabin he had been placed in. It was quite sizeable and could have been a comfortable place to stay in if it wasn’t for the gun-hurling murderers on the other side of the door. He assumed this was in fact the Captain’s cabin, because it was so fancy. His sneaking around was interrupted by the room swinging open. Edward straightened his back, startled, and looked in the eyes of Zsasz wo stood at the doorway, holding something in his arms.

“Hey, Hun”, the bald man exclaimed with a grimace. He walked properly into the room, Edward taking a step back right away. He didn’t trust anyone not to hurt him. “You’ll be dining with the Captain, and he requests you wear these.” Zsasz raised the bunch of fabrics in his arms.

“Tell the captain that I am disinclined to acquiesce to his request”, Edward said bitterly, repeating Penguin’s own words back to him. He was surprised to see that it seemed to make the baldie happy.

“He said you say that!” Zsasz beamed at him, genuinely happy expression turning into a wide, mischievous grin. He stepped closer to Edward who had nowhere to run in-between him and the bookcase behind his back. “He also said if that be the case, you’ll me dining with the crew. And you’ll be naked.”

Edward held out his hand angrily, with a blush scattering all across his face and ears. Zsasz’s grin faded and he looked at Edward for a second, almost begging the man would change his mind. When he didn’t, Zsasz sighed and handed the clothes over. “Fine.” With a quick wink, the man turned around and left as soon as he had arrived.

Edward began examining the clothes handed to him. It was a matching set of black silky clothes, that felt very comfortable to the touch. He sighed and after making sure Zsasz wasn’t coming back, he undressed and put on this new outfit. The shirt was a pretty tight fit around his chest and shoulders, but the sleeves were flowy and beautifully draped over his wrists. The neckline was way too steep to be considered proper, but he tried to ignore it and buttoned his pants. Once again, they were slightly too short on his lanky body, but not too bad. In the pile of fabrics was also a barrette with beautiful black stones. He pulled his hair on a ponytail and finished the look with said hair clip. This certainly was better than his dressing gown or sitting naked in the middle of pirates.

After a moment of self-reflection, Edward heard the door open behind him. Penguin entered the room, followed by pirates carrying trays of food, fine, table setting and whatnot. Edward was quite surprised by the amount of food they’d be having. He stood at the small table, nervously fidgeting the ruffles of the long sleeves. Penguin smiled when he looked at the brunette.

“Servant or not, it fits you”, he said and took a seat at the table after the eatables had been placed.

“Dare I ask the fate of its previous owner?” Edward asked, also sitting after hesitating a little. Penguin had situated them intentionally in such a way that he had a good view of Edward with his left eye. He grinned like a shark and shook his head.

“Now, none of that. Please dig in.” He gestured at the food around them. Chicken legs, vegetables, fruit, mashed potatoes, multiple types of wines... Edward would have lied if he said his mouth didn’t water at the sight. He hadn’t eaten in hours. Cautiously, he filled his plate and grabbed a fork and a knife. He felt Penguin’s judging eye on him as he took a small bite. God, it was delicious.

Penguin tilted his head and smiled. “No need to stand on ceremony, and no call to impress anyone. You must be hungry”, he said. He was, of course, absolutely correct, and Ed hated to admit it. Still, he dropped the pretence; he was starving, and began to eat like it. He grabbed the meat with bare hands and stuffed it in his face like he hadn’t eaten for a week. Penguin was watching him intently. He reached for a bottle on the table and poured a glass.

“Try the wine”, he said in a low tone and offered the glass to Edward. He grabbed it and took a huge swig. Penguin’s smile widened as he watched Edward reach for the bread on the table and tear off a hunk. Edward devoured it like a starving child.

“And the apples”, Penguin offered a blood red apple, holding it in his delicate hand. “One of those next.” Ed took it from his hand and was about to bite into it, but suddenly he stopped and looked at Penguin. He glanced at the man’s untouched plate, and then back into his eye. He hadn’t eaten a bite during their ‘dinner’. Just watched him. Edward dropped the apple and stiffened.

“It’s poisoned”, he whispered like he was afraid someone would hear them. He shoved his half-finished plate away and quickly took the opportunity to palm his knife while Penguin wasn’t looking. The raven-haired man laughed loudly.

“Oh, there would be no sense in killing you, Mister _Van Dahl_.”

“Then why aren’t you eating?” Edward demanded, feeling goosebumps all over his arms and back. He had broken into a cold sweat.

“Would that I could”, Penguin said, smile fading. He looked at Edward in the eyes, oddly serious all of sudden. He reached into his coat pocket and for a second Edward thought he was going to pull out a gun, but he just produced the medallion, let it dangle from his skinny, pale fingers. Ed stared at it.

“Do you know what this is?” he asked and glanced at Edward.

“It’s a pirate medallion”, Edward responded, dumbfounded by the question.

“It’s a piece of the treasure of Isla de Muerta”, Penguin corrected. Edward gave an infinitesimal shrug, despite being intrigued by the statement. “Ah, so you don’t know as much as you pretend”, Penguin said and gave Edward a tiny smirk.

“Back when Cortes was cutting a great bloody swath through the New World, a high priest gave him all the gold they had, with one condition: that he spare the people’s lives. Of course, Cortes being Cortes, he didn’t.” He nodded to himself. “He’d’ve made a great pirate, that one.”

Penguin stood up all of sudden and made Edward flinch a little. The man limped up to a shelf and picked up a key from one of his pockets. Edward’s eyes followed as Penguin put the key to a medium-sized polished wooden box – the Captain’s chest, Ed thought. He opened it.

“So the priest, with his dying breath, called on the power of the blood of his people, and put on the gold a curse. If anyone took so much as a single piece, as he was compelled by greed, by greed he would be consumed.” Edward reached his neck to see into the chest. Inside it there were charts, some gold, a sextant – and a few pages of paper. Penguin removed the papers carefully from the chest and brought them up to the table.

“Within a day of leaving port for Spain, the treasure ship carrying the gold... something went wrong. The ship run aground, every man abroad dead, save one. He survived long enough to hide the gold ashore.” He paused for a moment, running a hand on the surface of the papers. “Over time, the dark magic of the curse seeped into the place, making it a cursed island. An island of death. Isla de Muerta.”

He looked up. Edward had been rapt, involved in the story, but feigned a dismissive attitude. The brunette straightened his back. “That’s all very interesting, but I hardly believe in ghost stories anymore”, he said and gave an obnoxious smile. It soon faded, because Penguin looked angry all of sudden. Edward jolted backwards when the man stood up and swept the food off the table with a massive crash. He grabbed Edward by the hair and leaned right on his face.

“You idiot boy! It’s no make-believe! My crew and I, we found the gold, and we did more than take one piece, we took it all. Rich men we were, and we spent it and traded it and gave it away in exchange for drink and food and pleasant company”, he spat on Edward’s face as he raged.

“But we found out: the drink could not sate us, and the food turned to ashes in our mouths, and no amount of pleasant company could ease our torment.” He stared into Edward’s terrified eyes for a moment longer before letting go of the young man’s hair and breathing in and out deep. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to regain his composure. Ed felt like he was on the brink of a cardiac arrest.

“We are cursed men, Edward. Condemned, to be forever consumed by our own greed. Gold calls to us, always, and we are driven, always, to find more, and add it to the treasure.” Penguin grabbed the papers from the page and simply crushed them to ash in his hands. A centuries old, priceless Codex, gone just like that. Edward didn’t know what to say. The painful expression on Penguin’s face shifted and turned to something resembling glory.

“There is but one way to remove the curse. All of the scattered pieces of the treasure must be restored in full, and the blood repaid.” He swept the ash off the table. “We’ve recovered every piece – save for this”, he said and held out the medallion. Edward’s eyes widened.

“And... the blood that must be repaid?” Edward’s voice shook as he spoke, staring into the piercing green eye.

“It just so happens that we got double lucky, Mister _Van Dahl_. You see, that’s where you come in”, Penguin said and grinned. He seemed pleased on finally getting to his point. “And that’s why there’s no sense in killing you. Yet.”

Edward stared at him, absolutely horrified. Using the toe of his foot, Penguin reached for an apple from the ground, flipped it up off the floor and caught it in his hand. He extended it to Edward. “Apple?”

Edward slowly reached for the apple, heart pounding so loud Penguin could probably hear it, and suddenly jumped out of his chair. He attempted to make a run for it, but Penguin had suspected it and grabbed him by the waist, shoving him back to where he came from. Edward tried to kick him, and they went on like that for a moment longer, until Penguin suddenly shoved Edward away from him.

Edward’s stolen knife was buried in Penguin’s chest, to its hilt. Edward panted in the adrenaline rush and stared at the knife, much like Penguin did. Something was wrong, and Ed realized at soon as he looked at the Captain’s face again. He seemed completely unaffected. He opened his shirt to get a better look at the knife, and much to Edward’s horror, pulled the blade out without a flinch. The candlelight hit the bloody blade, yet the wound wasn’t bleeding.

“I’m curious”, Penguin spoke, and Edward hitched his breath. “After killing me, what is it you were planning to do next?”

Edward didn’t stay to answer the question. He backed away a few steps, still trembling, whirled around and made a break for the door. He swung it open and stepped on the deck, only to come to a dead stop. He stared at the sight before him, his jaw working, trying to scream but unable to.

The pirate crew was working around the deck like usual; at their stations, coiling lines, navigating the ship, swabbing decks, just like at daytime on any other ship. But where the moonlight, peering through the smoky clouds, fell across their bodies, they were nothing but _skeletons_. He thought he recognized Zsasz’s corpse hanging around the boat they’d arrived in earlier.

The only logical thing Edward could think of doing was get back inside the cabin. He turned away from the horrid sight but was barely able to take a single step before bumping into Penguin, standing just inside the doorway, out of the moonlight. He grabbed Edward roughly by the shoulders and jerked him back around. Edward shut his eyes, but Penguin’s voice startled them wide open again.

“Look!” Penguin shook the taller man’s body, a sense of dread and desperation in his voice. “LOOK! The moonlight shows us for what we really are! We are not among the living so we cannot die-“ He spun Edward back around to face him. Edward followed with rising horror as Penguin leaned forward, putting his face in the moonlight to reveal a gleaming skull with gold and silver teeth.

“-but neither are we dead! We have all the desires of the living but cannot satisfy them! Five years I have been parched of thirst, and unable to quench it! Five years, I have been starving to death – and haven’t died!” He raised his hand. “And I have not felt anything for five years... Not the wind on my face, nor the spray of the sea...”, he monologued, reaching for Edward’s pale face, “...nor the flesh of a man...”

Edward flinched away from the skeletal hand, absolutely mortified. It dropped away, and instead Penguin reached for a bottle of wine from the opened case beside the cabin door. He uncorked it with his teeth and raised it up to his mouth.

“You’d better start believing in ghost stories, Edward dear. Because now you’re in one.” He tilted the bottle to where his lips were meant to be and drank – the red substance ran over his jaw, through his rib cage, drenching the clothes wet.

Edward darted around him, back into the cabin and shut the door as fast as he could. He heard the sound of breaking class as Penguin probably hurled the empty bottle of wine away. Edward collapsed on the floor as soon as he realized the man wasn’t coming after him. With every power he managed to fathom, he crawled into the far corner of the cabin and hugged his knees against his chest, shaking in pure terror.


	4. moonlight serenade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my thought process for this chapter: "if barbossa has a monkey named jack and jack sparrow is offended by it, obviously penguin needs to have a monkey named edward, for ed to be offended over"

Needless to say, Edward did not sleep a wink that night. When the sun started to rise above the horizon line, he was still sitting inside the cabin, unable to move a muscle from his hiding spot. His body had stopped trembling after the first couple of hours of sitting still, but his mind was still racing as fast as his heart had. Surely this was all a terrible dream, right? That was the only logical explanation Edward’s brain had been able to come to within the hours of sitting on the floor. The barrette had been ripped out of his hair and messy dark curls framed his face as he hunched over his knees. Loose hairs were stuck on his sweaty palms from the hours of him running his hands through the hair, tugging and trembling. One thing was for certain; if this wasn’t a dream, he was going positively insane.

He almost screamed out loud when he heard the door open all of sudden. He put his hand over his mouth and stopped breathing for a second. Unfortunately, he was able to see the doorway clear as day which meant that the intruder could do the same exact thing with him. The visitor turned out to be Zsasz, having gained all his muscle and skin back now that the moon was gone.

“Heeey”, the bald man waved a hand in Edward’s direction with a small smirk on his lips. It faded a little when he saw how shaken up the brunette was. “Oh shit, you good?” he asked, beginning to walk towards him. Edward acted on instinct and crawled further into his little corner. He squeezed the needle of the barrette in his hand as if that was going to save his life against an undead pirate. Zsasz stopped a few feet away and raised his hands as a sign of surrender.

“Look, Honey, I ain’t gonna rip off my collarbone and beat you to death with it”, he said and grinned. “Although, now that I said it, that’s a fuckin’ awesome fighting style! I gotta try that out with somebody.” Edward shivered, and Zsasz realized the error of his ways. “But not you. The Captain don’t want you harmed.”

“What a relief”, Edward managed to say, words dripping in sarcasm. Zsasz clearly thought Edward speaking was a good sign, because he smiled brightly.

“Innit? Speaking of which, the Cap wants to talk to you.”

“D-Do I have a choice to decline?” Edward’s voice wavered and he raised a trembling hand to brush some hairs off his face.

“Ehh, I don’t think so, Hun”, Zsasz said apologetically and stepped forward. He offered his hand to Edward like a gentleman. Edward looked at it. It was skin and muscle. Not a creepy bone hand. Hesitantly, he took the man’s help and Zsasz pulled him up from the ground with one swift move.

“Oh, crap. Look at yourself, what a goddamn mess those silks are”, Zsasz noticed how dusty Ed’s clothes had turned after hours of sulking in a dirty cabin corner.

“You don’t look so clean yourself”, Ed tested his luck with the words, but Zsasz clearly found it more amused than offended.

“Yeah, true that”, he said and shrugged. “You startin’ to blend in. One of us, and all that.” Edward truly wanted to say that he would never ever become a dirty half-dead pirate, but he bit his tongue and kept quiet, instead following Zsasz out the door.

The relief that was over Edward was enormous when he saw the rising sun. Although, perhaps it was less the sun that made him happy and more the fact that there was no moonlight. It was like nothing had even happened on the ship overnight. The crew acted completely ordinarily, and it sent chills down Edward’s spine. He supposed it was true there was a monster inside every man. Zsasz guided him to the poop deck where Penguin was standing, one hand on the wheel and the other petting... a monkey?

“Mornin’, Boss”, Zsasz yawned and threw a peanut at the monkey. It caught it mid-flight and stuck it in its greedy little mouth. “Mornin’, Edward”, he cooed and rubbed the animal’s belly.

“What?” Edward said, completely dumbfounded by the interaction in front of him.

“Oh! You ain’t have met Edward the monkey yet, have ya! Monkey Ed, meet human Ed, vice versa”, Zsasz introduced the monkey. If an animal had enough conscience to look at a human suspiciously, the monkey was giving Edward that treatment.

“You named a monkey after me?” Edward looked at Penguin who only now acknowledged his existence. The man scoffed and raised his hand so the monkey could climb up his arm on his shoulder.

“Of course not. Merely a coincidence”, he said with a smile of gold and silver. “Was my bed comfortable? I can’t tell myself.”

“I didn’t sleep in it”, Edward muttered and looked away from the man. He still got shivers down his spine when he thought about last night’s events, more importantly Penguin stretching his dead bone hand towards him, trying to touch his face...

“The poor lad was shakin’ in the corner of the cabin when I found ‘im”, Zsasz reported, feeding the monkey more peanuts from his pocket.

“Did I startle you that bad, Edward?” Penguin laughed, but there was a hint of something else in his voice too. Edward couldn’t quite grasp it – regret, shame?

“I am sorry for not being used to talking to dead men”, Edward said bitterly and crossed his arms. Penguin grinned.

“Undead”, he corrected, stirring the wheel a little as he spoke.

“When will we arrive to Isla de Muerta?” Edward changed the subject, already dreading his unavoidable demise.

“Within three days if the wind is on our side”, Penguin said and glanced at the sky. Not a single cloud was present. It was going to be a warm day.

“So you got three days to come up with a plan, then”, Zsasz tuned in. Penguin glared at him, and Edward didn’t understand what about the statement was so bad. The baldie realized to shut up and picked up Edward the monkey instead, beginning to play with it on the deck. Edward still felt offended over the fact that his only namesake on the ship was a bloody chimpanzee.

Nothing awfully eventful went down that day on the Black Pearl. Butch punched a man in the face with his wooden hand and knocked his tooth out, and Zsasz had to install a silver tooth to replace it. When the sun started setting, Zsasz and ‘Popsicle’ – who turned out to also be called Victor but got the nickname since he always looked so freezing cold – had carried out an old gramophone to the main deck and the pirates spent the majority of the evening singing and dancing around the deck. To Edward’s surprise, Penguin followed his crew goofing around with a look resembling fondness rather than one of irritation. No one paid any attention to Edward while things were going down. That was, until Zsasz spotted him at the prow of the ship, looking longingly at the horizon.

“Miss home already?” Zsasz draped an arm around the brunette and scared the younger man a little with the sudden move.

“Not exactly”, Edward muttered and looked at the sea, pursing his lips together. He didn’t know which was a worse place to be, to be honest; being tormented by his father about his duties and marriage and whatnot, or being captured by a murderous crew of undead men in the middle of nowhere. It sounded pretty equal to him.

“Aww”, Zsasz said and pinched Edward’s cheek. “You gettin’ attached to us, ain’tcha?” He grabbed both of Edward’s shoulders and twirled him around, so they were facing the main deck instead of the sea. “I mean, look at these charmers”, he pointed at a large black man walking the plank, doing a handstand.

“Truly a lovely group of people”, Edward said dryly and brushed Zsasz’s hands off of him.

“Word!” Zsasz beamed and pat him on the back violently. Ed wasn’t sure if he just didn’t catch the sarcasm or chose to blatantly ignore it. Zsasz left him alone and instead walked up to Penguin who was leaning on his cane and watching the sunset.

“Hey, Cap”, the bald man batted his non-existent eyelashes. “How’s ‘bout a dance? For old times’ sake?”

Penguin looked at him a snorted. “With this?” He raised his peg leg. “Ain’t happenin’.”

“My sixth sense tells me that you decline ‘cause I ain’t the one you wanna dance with”, Zsasz said wisely and winked. Edward followed the interaction curiously. A blush creeped up Penguin’s face and he turned swiftly away from Edward to hide it. Ed wasn’t sure what Zsasz had meant by that, but he kept watching as Zsasz tried to soften the man up, pleading for a dance.

“Fuckin’ hell, fine!” Penguin finally snapped and hit Zsasz on the ass with his cane. “If you quit bugging me.” Victor grinned triumphantly and gave the shorter man a majestic bow, offering his hand.

“I hate your stupid ass. You know that, right?” Penguin asked him as they made their way down the stairs to the main deck. Despite his words, he had a warm smile on his lips.

“Sure do”, Zsasz said, creeping his arm around the shorter man’s skinny waist. “Headhunter! Play us somethin’ nice.” The man that had been doing the terrifying handstand earlier shifted his gaze to the bald man, giving a nod. Seemingly out of nowhere he produced a banjo and sat on the deck rail, beginning to mimic the tune of the gramophone. Edward leaned against the wheel and watched as Zsasz and Penguin began dancing.

It was almost magical how elegant the Captain looked while twirling around, despite his peg leg. Zsasz wasn’t any worse, either. They moved so smoothly it seemed this was a common thing for the pair. Edward felt a small smile creeping around his lips as he watched the crew start to sing, clapping their hands to the rhythm.

“ _Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me..._ ” Edward recognized the song. He remembered it from his childhood, remembered how his father had almost scalped him after hearing him sing it at the age of eight. Now there was no one stopping him, though, and he found himself quietly humming to the tune.

Penguin and Zsasz finished their dance with Zsasz wildly grabbing the shorter male by the waist and dipping him so far down that his hat fell down to the ground. The men around them laughed and cheered, Headhunter strumming his banjo violently for the effect. The Captain laughed, too. It was the first time Edward had seen him laugh so happily, without any menace or ulterior motive. Just a man, happy to be there.

“And you say ya don’t like dancin’”, Zsasz yelled at his captain as he straightened the man back up and reached for the feathered hat. Penguin rolled his eye and smirked.

“Keep forgetting how fun it is”, he admitted while Zsasz placed the hat back on his head.

“Ya hear ‘im?” Zsasz was looking straight at where Edward was standing now. “You wanna have a go?!” He made a ridiculous dance-gesture for emphasis.

“No thank you”, Edward said, smile quickly fading. He didn’t like how everyone was suddenly focusing on him. Zsasz shrugged dismissively.

“Your loss”, he said and twirled himself around, peering around the crowd. “Who’s next?”

The sun had already set when Victor Zsasz finally collapsed after his fifth round of dancing with Headhunter. He reached for a bottle of rum and downed it all, despite knowing it would not satisfy any of his needs. Penguin had already dismissed most of his crew for the night, saying that they had a long day of sailing ahead tomorrow. Edward had still not figured out if these undead men needed sleep to survive; at least he hadn’t seen Penguin do even as much as yawn during his stay on the Pearl. The deck was swimming in moonlight again, but Edward didn’t feel quite as horrified as the night before, because it was empty apart from Zsasz giggling on the main deck and Headhunter quietly playing his banjo.

Edward’s guest of staring out to the quiet ocean was interrupted when he heard the sound of footsteps crawl up the stairs to the poop deck. With the inconsistent step and clattering sound he correctly guessed the man to be Penguin before he even saw the man. To his surprise, Penguin stood near him – still leaving a polite space in-between –, holding a thick black umbrella above his head. It wasn’t raining, so it took a second for Edward to realize why it was present. Then he made the connection and noticed that the man hadn’t turned into his freaky skeletal form. He was protecting himself from the moonlight!

“I just wanted to apologize for last night”, the Captain spoke quietly, not looking at Edward but instead out to the sea. “Been a long time since we’ve had any normal chap come here.” Ed wasn’t sure if Penguin was expecting a response. Their eyes met for a moment before they both turned hastily away.

“I suppose it’s my own fault for wanting a ‘parlay’”, Edward said in a dry tone and made Penguin chuckle.

“Listen, um”, the man spoke again and looked Edward properly. “The whole ‘killing you’ thing? Maybe the treasure ain’t gonna need all of your blood. Maybe just a cut will do.”

Edward stared at him, not knowing what to say. “Why risk it?” he asked finally. Penguin bit his lower lip and looked at the moon. His umbrella shifted a little and part of his arm turned skeletal. Edward flinched, and the Captain was quick to fix his position.

“I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say we like having someone like you around”, Penguin said slowly. He was being very careful with his words and Edward didn’t understand why.

“Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I find that hard to believe. I’m not very likeable.”

“Nonsense”, Penguin shook his head and grinned. “You’re alive. That’s better than I can say for any other man I care about.”

“So you care about me”, Edward said, unable to hide the little smug smile on his lips. Penguin realized he had spoken too much and coughed.

“Hell, maybe I do”, he still admitted and smiled fondly out to the sea. “Hard to tell what I feel and what I don’t nowadays.”

“I can relate to that”, Edward sighed and brushed a hand through his open hair. He usually hated having it flow around freely, but the salty breeze actually felt good when it ran through his locks. He couldn’t fathom how he was able to have such a casual chat with someone he’d attempted to kill just one day prior.

“So, Edward”, Penguin attempted to regain some of the carefree tone in his voice when he spoke after a short silence. “Do you believe in ghost stories now?”

“Last night was very... eye-opening”, Edward said thoughtfully. “I mean, I did think about what I saw a lot. After I finished, you know, shitting myself.” Penguin laughed loudly, and it was the same type of joyous noise that had emitted from him when he was dancing with Victor earlier. Edward decided he liked hearing that voice. The following silence was only broken by Headhunter’s quiet playing.

“Do you play anything?” Penguin asked after a while of just listening to the distant music and the wind blowing around them.

“The piano”, Edward revealed and gave him a lob-sided smile. “Can’t say I’m amazing at it, though.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out, right?” Penguin asked and raised his hand. As soon as it left the shadow of the umbrella, it turned into a grimy claw of bones. Edward looked at it for a moment, repressed his urge to vomit over the prow, and grabbed it. Something about the gesture made Penguin’s eyes glimmer in a way Edward hadn’t seen before. Maybe the Captain felt gratitude that Edward trusted him or didn’t find him too repulsive to touch. They walked down to the main deck and Penguin entered into his cabin.

“The previous owner of the ship was quite fond of instruments”, he said as he brought Edward to the corner of the cabin. “I was gonna throw the whole thing overboard, but maybe it was a good thing I kept it.” He stopped and Edward looked at the large chunk of wood in front of them. Only now he realized there was, indeed, a piano inside the cabin. He had no idea how he had managed to miss it while snooping around. It’s not like it was hidden or even masked as anything different. Just a plain old piano, standing there, collecting dust.

“It’s probably out of tune”, Penguin said, brushing a hand on the dusty surface while Edward took a seat in front of the keys. They were covered and once he pushed the cover up, the keys themselves looked as good as new. He ran a hand across them, feeling the porcelain they were made out of with great interest. He recognized it was a beautiful instrument, and quite well taken care of, counting in the situation.

Edward was a little rusty – he hadn’t played properly since stopping his lessons at the age of fifteen, after his teacher mother had passed – and he began sheepishly playing the only song he could think of at the moment; the very same tune Penguin and Zsasz had been waltzing to. Penguin had been right, the piano was out of tune, but it wasn’t as terrible as one would think. Edward started getting slightly more comfortable as he glanced at Penguin who was leaning against the piano with a small smile on his face. The brunette’s shoulders relaxed, and he pressed the keys more confidently.

“ _We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot... Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho_ ”, the Captain quietly sang to the rhythm, tapping his ringed fingers against the wood. Edward had to admit Penguin had a beautiful singing voice. Ed wasn’t terrible, either, but he had always had more of an ear for playing instead of singing. That was why he didn’t tune in with the other man, just played and kept stealing glances at his side profile. He was having fun, which seemed like such an obscure concept at that moment.

“ _Maraud and embezzle, and..._ can’t remember the rest of the words, yo ho.” Edward laughed for the first time in days. He felt more free than he had in a long time. He ran his hands across the entire keyboard, grinning ear to ear, but stopped suddenly when he looked at the pirate captain again. The man had sucked in a deep breath to start the second verse, but stopped too, mouth open, and looked at Edward, confused.

The moonlight had crept around the ship – or perhaps it was the ship itself that had twirled around – and was shining through the cabin’s round window. It hit Penguin’s face from an angle, emitting the most gruesome view; only half of his skin had disappeared due to the moon, the other half of his face looking still excited and even child-like. Edward flinched backwards upon the inspection and didn’t know why but cursed himself when he saw Penguin’s face fell. He turned his head to look at the window, skin turning to bone as he moved his face around. It looked utterly disgusting, and Edward bit his cheek hard to stop himself from gagging. The captain looked at the moon for a moment before glancing at Edward again. Edward was able to see his eyeballs move without the skin to protect them. He wanted to puke.

“I’m sorry”, Penguin said and stood up properly. “Suppose that’s my cue to leave.” He didn’t bother grabbing the umbrella he had placed on the side of the piano, and just limped up to the door. Edward didn’t know what to say, or even if he could speak after the shock. It had reminded him of the horrors of last night. How had it only been 24 hours?

“Good night, Edward”, Penguin said when he reached the door. The right side of his body shining in moonlight and the left still in the shadow. “Don’t stay up too late. Got a long day ahead tomorrow.” With that, he stepped out and closed the door gently behind him.

Something in the defeated, even saddened tone in Penguin’s voice made Edward’s stomach tie itself on a tight knot. One that didn’t open even when he grabbed a bottle of rum from a cabinet and took a sip. He felt like a douchebag. After calming down a little, he decided that he would go talk to the Captain with the excuse of returning his umbrella to him. He grabbed it and walked out the door after checking his reflection from the mirror. Still messy, still pale, still scared-looking like always.

Penguin and Zsasz were leaning on the deck rail, watching the horizon together. From the back, Zsasz didn’t actually look a whole lot different, because he was bald anyway. It didn’t change the fact that Edward knew they were skeletal monsters on the flip side. The two men hadn’t noticed him approaching quietly behind their backs, and Edward caught a glimpse of their conversation.

“...acting like he don’t even recognize me! Looks as me like I’m a fuckin’ monster under his bed.”

“Well maybe he simply don’t. Not like you were a skeleton back then”, Zsasz said, leaning against the Captain’s shoulder, comforting.

“Don’t change the fact that I’m sad.” Even without skin and muscle to represent facial expressions, Penguin sounded like he was pouting. Edward furrowed his brows. They were talking about him, that much was obvious, but he didn’t understand the context. What did Penguin mean by Edward not recognizing him? Had they met before? Edward surely would have remembered if he had met such a strong character as Captain Penguin.

“You gettin’ attached to the wrong people again”, Zsasz said somberly.

“E-Excuse me”, Edward interrupted their conversation. It felt inappropriate to say that the men looked like they almost jumped out of their own skins. Zsasz was the first to turn around. He would have grinned if he had had the lips to do it.

“Eddie!” he yelled in a tone that definitely indicated they’d been talking about him. “Ain’t this a nice surprise! I’d looove to chit chat but I gotta go. Duty calls!” With that, he very quickly slipped in-between the two other men and practically ran up to the poop deck. Edward could have sworn he heard the man chuckle “heh, doodie calls” under his breath. He shook his head in disbelief at how carefree some people could be before he turned to look at Penguin.

The man hadn’t even turned around to greet him. Edward couldn’t help but feel that the other felt ashamed to present his true form in front of him. He also seemed preoccupied with doing something else with his hands, but Edward couldn’t see what from the angle he was facing the shorter man. He made a bold move and shifted closer, almost standing next to him yet also looming above him. He got a little startled when he realized there was indeed a third creature in this meeting of theirs; Edward the monkey was laying on the deck rail while Penguin played with it lazily. Even the monkey had its fur ripped out by the moon, but it didn’t seem to have a care in the world. It looked freaky as hell, though.

“I thought I told you to not stay up late”, Penguin said quietly and chuckled, silver and gold teeth clattering against one another. “Though I ain’t your pops. Do what you want.”

“I came to return this”, Edward said and opened the umbrella, placing it over Penguin’s head. The moment the moon was blocked by the thick, black fabric, he turned back to his fleshy self. The Captain looked flustered for a second before he realized he was, indeed, under his umbrella. Well, partly. Everything below his waist was still swimming in moonlight, but Edward felt immediately comfortable when the shorter man looked ordinary in the face. He had gotten a little too fond of that specific face.

“Oh. Thank you”, Penguin took the umbrella from Edward. Their hands brushed together, and Ed shuddered by how cold the raven-haired man felt to touch. Perhaps it really was true that blood no longer flowed in his veins. Not in the ordinary way, at least.

“You’re welcome”, Edward said and smiled a little. “Sorry for being so insensitive.”

Penguin let out a hollow laughter. “I think you got every right to be ‘ _insensitive_ ’ when you look at... well, this”, he said and pushed his hand out of the shadow for emphasis. Chills went up and down Edward’s spine. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to that.

“Trust me, I was a lil squeamish at first, too”, he continued and shook his head with a sad smile on his lips. He leaned against the rail and looked up to Edward. “Couldn’t stand lookin’ at my reflection for months. That’s what I get for bein’ a greedy bastard, I guess.”

“I don’t think anyone deserves a fate like this”, Edward said firmly. “Pirate or not.”

“Glad you think so”, Penguin tilted his head, almost thoughtful. “Not a lot of sympathy goes out for us.” They stayed quiet for a moment.

“But hey!” Penguin said, trying and failing to sound cheerful. “Isla de Muerta is two days away. All this will come to an end.”

“Right”, Edward muttered, lowering his gaze. He swallowed audibly and sighed. Two days until his unescapable doom. So much for living to an old age, exploring the hidden secrets of the world, like he had wished to do when he was ten years old.

“Hey”, Penguin said again, quieter this time. He looked uneasy. “If there’s a way to break the curse without takin’ your life, I’ll find that way.”

“I still don’t understand why you suddenly care about me so much. I tried to kill you yesterday.” Penguin grinned.

“You ain’t the first one, Ed.” Edward smiled a little too.

“I suppose that’s true”, he said, followed by an uncontrollable yawn. He blushed a little and rubbed his neck.

“Someone gettin’ sleepy?” the Captain teased with a soft smile. “Go to bed. You ain’t havin’ slept for what? Two days?” He was right, of course. Edward only no realized that he hadn’t indeed slept last night, or the one previous, so it was no wonder he was as tired as he seemed.

“Okay”, he said and nodded sleepily.

“You want me to tuck you in?”

Ed laughed a bit. “I think I’ll manage, but thank you for the offer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ed: "you named a monkey after me?!"  
> oswald: "pffft obviously not you dumbass" *chuckles nervously*  
> oswald five years ago: "i'm naming this monkey edward because i miss that boy from the ship!"


	5. swords crossed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've listened to the COTBP soundtrack for four days straight now and it's starting to come out of my ears but it is SO GOOD aaaaaa

When Edward had fallen asleep on Penguin’s enormous bed, snuggled between the comfortable pillows and blankets, he had not expected to wake up feeling like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. That is, however, exactly what happened. It was the incoherent shouting from the deck that initially brought him to a state of wake, but it was nothing compared to the sudden loud bang and the whole room tilting so much that he almost fell out of the bed.

He scrambled up, looking for his glasses frantically. He had just got them on when the cabin’s door swung wide open and in stepped a bewildered Penguin.

“Good, you’re awake!” the Captain shouted and raised his arm, gesturing for Edward to follow. Ed, still very sleepy and very concerned, followed lead. “Good mornin’ to you, too, Edward. Sorry about the whole cannon ball thing.”

Edward couldn’t for the life of him figure out what was happening around him. The sun was already up which indicated it was morning at the very least, probably afternoon if he wasn’t mistaken. The pirate crew was hustling all around the main deck; filling cannons with balls, stacking weaponry, shouting orders at each other.

“A-Are we under attack?!” Edward finally made the logical-sounding guess as he looked around the deck. Penguin, still walking ahead of him on his way to the wheel, nodded and gritted his teeth.

“Look for yourself”, he said and pointed at port. Edward quickly understood that his question had been close to idiotic, because nearing them at very high speed was another ship, not too far from the Pearl.

“I thought this was supposed to be a fast ship?” Edward said in a high-pitched voice. “Nigh uncatchable?”

“The element of surprise was on their side”, Penguin spat on the deck before grabbing the wheel. “Fuckin’ shot a ball right through the kitchen window.”

“Do you have a plan of sorts?” Edward inquired and reached for a telescope peeking out of Penguin’s coat pocket. The man didn’t seem to mind borrowing it and looked even thankful that someone more sharp-sighted was taking care of it.

“I’m sailing there and sinking them”, Penguin said like it was obvious as he spun the wheel.

“Oh”, Edward said, heart skipping a beat. “Oh. Okay then. A battle.”

“Time to put your big boy pants on!” came a voice from the staircase. Edward already recognized it as Zsasz before the bald head even came to view. “It’s the Sirens, Cap.”

“Are you _kidding me_?!” Penguin screeched so loud it pierced Edward’s ears. “The Sirens? Here? NOW?!”

“Yep”, Zsasz said, popping the P. “Have you done somethin’ to upset Babs?”

“Oh, I don’t know? Exist?!” Penguin huffed, correcting the position of his feathered hat.

“Who are the Sirens?” Edward tuned in, putting the telescope away and placing it back where it came from. His voice was still higher than usual from adrenaline.

“Not friends”, Penguin replied. “The saying goes that a woman on the ship is bad luck? Well they’ve got three of them on the _lead only_!”

“Babs, Tabs and the Kitty Cat”, Zsasz said with a fond smirk on his face. Edward was still just as lost as he had been before getting an answer. Penguin seemed to notice that, because he let out an exasperated sigh and kept on.

“The original captain is Barbara Kean”, he started, only to be immediately interrupted by Zsasz.

“Or Barbara _Queen_ , as her Majesty prefers”, he said in a mocking tone.

“Shut up”, Penguin commanded and continued after silencing his first mate. “Then there is Tabitha Galavan, her girlfriend or whatever. Partner in crime. And then they’ve basically adopted this third chick, annoying little shit stain called Cat.”

“He’s mad because they outsmarted him once”, Zsasz said in a comically loud whisper.

Penguin was more preoccupied with stirring the vessel as close to the other as possible than responding to Zsasz again. He gestured for the bald man to take over at the wheel as he started making his way to the main deck. Edward followed him like an obedient child, because he was honestly certain that a cannon ball would hit him if he was left to his own accords.

“Barbara, darling!” Penguin shouted over the rail as loud as he could once they had managed to get to earshot. “Why don’t we have a little chat!”

Edward watched as a tall woman emerged from the crew – all women as far as Edward could see. She had blonde, short hair and a very beautiful yet cunning face. A siren truly was a good way to describe her. She had the whitest teeth Edward had ever seen as she leaned on her own vessel’s rail and smiled maliciously at Penguin.

“Ozzieee!” she yelled right back, voice as sharp as her jawline. She waved and blew a kiss. “So good to see you, honey!”

“Likewise!” Penguin’s tone was threatening. “I really loved the cannon ball through the window!”

“I knew you would”, Barbara laughed manically. “Just a lil somethin’ for you to enjoy, babe!”

Edward felt very uncomfortable following this exchange. Not only were they busy throwing the most condescending pet names at each other’s way, Barbara had also called Penguin ‘ _Ozzie_ ’. Edward could only guess it was a nickname, perhaps a shortened version of his real first name? He had never heard anyone refer to the man as anything else than Penguin, so it truly surprised Ed that an enemy would know such an endearing way to call the Captain by.

“What do you want, Babs?” Penguin questioned as the two ships slid slowly closer to one another.

“I think you know exactly what I want.” Barbara’s tone of voice shifted so drastically that Edward felt the temperature of the air literally go down by a notch. Penguin furrowed his brows.

“I can’t say that I do, love”, he said and shook his head. Barbara looked as if she could grab the sword from her waist and fling it across the rail.

“So you wanna do this the hard way, Pengu? That can be arranged.”

“What is she talking about?” Edward muttered at the shorter man who shook his head a little, frowning.

“I honestly don’t have the slightest clue”, he said, but shrugged. “You want to fight me?” he yelled at Barbara, a grin placed on his lips.

“I want nothing more”, the woman responded, already drawing her sword even though there was still the ocean between them. Penguin copied the movement. It was the first time Edward saw the sword in action, though he had noticed it hanging from the man’s slim waist.

“Hold your fire!” Penguin shouted over his shoulder. “I want to do this in style.” He spun the sword in his grip. “Feel free to come abroad, Babs. We ain’t gonna bite.”

Barbara had to be either incredibly insane or incredibly calculated, because she actually agreed. Edward didn’t know if he should be worried or amused when some of the Sirens steered their ship as close to the Pearl as possible without collision. Was this like a pastime activity to the two captains?

A long plank was placed across the two rails and Barbara crossed it in cat-like delicacy. As she hopped down from the rail, Edward noticed she was actually taller than Penguin, but it was due to heeled boots. They didn’t seem awfully convenient for sailing or close combat fighting. He got a little startled when the Captain grabbed his arm and pulled him behind.

“I might be immortal, but you ain’t”, he muttered as he shoved Ed further away. “No one interrupt us! Let the woman have her fun!” he announced at the rest of the crew, who didn’t look like they had any issue following this order. They were circling the two captains, watching their every move hungrily. Even Zsasz had gone down from the wheel and was eagerly following them.

The swords clung against one another so suddenly it took Edward by surprise even though he kept his eyes at them the whole time. It became alarmingly clear that both of them were incredible swordfighters. What Barbara lacked in handiwork, she made up in speed and leg movements, arguably Penguin’s weak spot. She got a nasty stab at the man’s right shoulder – much thanks to the blocked vision of the eyepatch – but Penguin just laughed like she had tickled him.

“You _know_ you can’t kill me, right?” he cackled as he slashed a cut in the woman’s coat.

“Not for the lack of tryin’, that’s for sure”, Zsasz voiced his opinion from the crowd. “She’s gettin’ better, Cap.”

“Oh yeah?” Penguin huffed, clashing his sword against Barbara’s again.

“Oh hell yeah”, Barbara growled through her teeth, aggressively pushing Penguin’s blade against the man himself. “You’re good practice, Ozzie.”

“Well I’m glad to be useful, but it may cost you your life”, Penguin threw right back and swung around, kicking Barbara with his peg leg. It surprised the woman who lost her balance and got the air whacked right out of her when the raven-haired man hit her with his walking stick for emphasis.

“You can’t even disarm me, for Kraken’s sake! What makes you think you can _kill_ me? An undead man?!” he laughed as he watched Barbara pant on the deck, standing on one knee and catching her breath.

“You know, you’re so gullible”, the blonde finally said as she stood up, brushing dust off her coat. “And this?” She raised her cut arm. “You coulda put that blade right through my heart, but you didn’t. ‘Cause you’ve got a soft spot for me, Oz.”

Penguin flushed a slight tint of red but brushed it off very fast as his expression shifted the slightly confused. “Wait, what do you mean ‘ _gullible_ ’?” he asked and furrowed his eyebrows. Just as Barbara started to giggle manically again, it hit Edward; this was a setup. He barely managed to turn his neck to look at the Sirens’ deck when he already felt a cold blade on his throat, someone tugging on his curls to pull his head back.

“You don’t look as dead as the others”, he heard someone hiss into his ear. A very seductive female voice. “Don’t smell like a pirate, either”, she continued, taking a whiff.

“Wha-“ Penguin’s face was truly worth seeing, and Edward might’ve laughed if he wasn’t being held at knifepoint. The rest of the crew finally caught up with the events in front of them and a loud clicking sound emerged all around Edward as the pirates loaded their raised handguns.

“You shoot and the kid dies”, the woman snarled over Edward’s shoulder. Ed could only see a few strands of long, dark hair and tan skin from the arms that were holding him in place. Penguin opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t seem to find the words, because he closed it. And then opened it again. Edward peered at Zsasz, who was looking intensely at his captain, trying to crack the inaudible code, both of his pistols raised to point at Edward’s captor.

“Lower your guns”, Penguin finally said, stiffening his shoulders at the disappointed sigh and muttering. Edward swallowed and felt his Adam’s apple dig into the blade a bit. Penguin glared at the woman over his shoulder.

“Shoulda seen this comin’”, he said, sounding incredibly pissed off. “Tabitha.”

“Hey, Pengu”, the woman’s voice sounded amused. “Been a while.”

“It has”, Penguin nodded and smiled sarcastically. “Though it feels like yesterday when you snuck on this exact ship and slit my mother’s throat in her sleep.”

Edward’s jaw dropped at the statement. He had heard Penguin mention his mother very briefly the day before, and had just automatically assumed the woman had passed, but in that kind of crude fashion? He was surprised the man hadn’t already walked over and put his sword through Tabitha’s heart. Then again, if the man even moved, Edward would have probably found himself on the floor choking in his own blood in no time.

“I’d do it again anytime”, Tabitha said, and the grin was obvious from her voice.

“I really love this reunion too, Tabby, but can we, like, get to the point?” A new voice emerged behind Tabitha and through the crowd stepped a much shorter and younger woman, probably in her mid-teens. She had wild, curly hair that was hastily thrown on a little bun, and she was holding a pocketknife.

“Kitty Cat!!” Zsasz exclaimed, looking genuinely delighted to see the girl.

“Hey, Vic”, Cat nodded at him before glancing over her shoulder at Tabitha. She raised her eyebrows expectedly.

“Right”, Barbara said, drawing her blade and running it across Penguin’s cheek. “Let’s get to business.”

“It’d be my pleasure”, the man said, shuddering under the cold steel. “There is no need for violence, Barbara dear.”

“Good”, the blonde smiled in a condescending way and got right up in Penguin’s face. “We want Jim”, she gnarled.

“What?” Penguin looked flabbergasted. He stared in Barbara’s eyes for a second before bursting into howling laugher. “You- you think I have Jim?”

“Duh? No one’s heard from him in like forever”, Cat tuned in and crossed her arms. “We need him. Give him to us and we’re out.”

“I can’t give you something I don’t have!” Penguin snapped, still almost laughing yet also shaking in rage. “You stupid girl! Why the hell would I capture Jim?! He is my friend!”

“Who is Jim?” Edward muttered his thoughts out loud, not specifically aiming the question at anyone.

“James Gordon. A navy guy”, Tabitha gave him a helping hand, still leaning her chin on Edward’s shoulder and breathing into his neck uncomfortably. “Babs’s ex. Annoying. Wanna slit his throat, too.”

“Ah, right. Thank you.” Edward found the exchange almost funny. How was he having such a casual conversation while his chat partner was holding a knife to his throat?

“Well I ain’t got him!” Penguin screeched and flung his arms up like a bird taking flight. “Get off my fuckin’ ship.”

“Liar”, Tabitha replied immediately.

“It’s the truth, Tabby”, chimed in Butch. He was the last person Edward had expected coming to his aid. He guessed Butch had a personal connection to Tabitha, since the woman didn’t immediately throw a knife at him for using a domestic nickname like that. “We don’t got Gordon.”

“Well where the hell is he then?!” Barbara screamed, starting to get irritated too.

“Why should _I_ know?” Penguin yelled back.

“Didn’t you just say he’s your friend?”

“Friend in a way that I wouldn’t hurt him, not in the way that I fucking sail across the oceans with him!” Penguin growled and crossed his sword with Barbara’s. “Ain’t he your boyfriend? Shouldn’t you know?”

Barbara hissed and pressed her blade deeper into the man’s flesh. To nobody’s surprise, the wound did not draw blood. “Well we ain’t leaving empty-handed”, she said, bitterness dripping from her voice.

“You want some gold? Be my goddamn guest! I’ve got plenty and we both know it’s useless”, the eyepatched man said and rolled his eye. “Just leave.”

“Nah, I think I want this wee thing instead”, Tabitha said and ran her hand through Edward’s hair almost like a mother would. “What’s his deal, anyway? You finally found yourself a boyfriend, Pengu?”

Penguin blushed very keenly now, which only made Tabitha stifle a laugh. “Called it.”

“Edward has _nothing_ to do with this!” he said immediately after. “Let him go. He’s _my_ prisoner.”

“Oh, he’s a prisoner?” Tabitha asked. “He worth something? Like, other than sellin’ to a brothel with that pretty face of his?” Edward felt his face go red, yet he was also shivering like a fever patient.

“He is only valuable to me”, Penguin sneered.

“Well then we _must_ take him away from you”, Barbara said and giggled. Penguin snapped his neck back at the woman, looking ready to kill.

“You do that, and you will never see another sunrise, I promise you that.”

“Wait, did you say Edward?” Barbara asked suddenly and turned from Penguin to Tabitha and Ed. “Holy shit”, she said as if she only now saw the man.

“I told you, Babs, I recognized him from somewhere”, Tabitha said, and Edward felt his blood run cold. This was not good. This was the opposite of good. Barbara walked up to him like a predator eyeing her prey. She eyed Edward up and down before brushing some loose hairs off his face to get a better look.

“Is that truly _the_ Edward Nashton?” she asked, eyes wide with excitement. Edward felt like he was going to faint right at that moment. There was no way in hell that Penguin hadn’t heard that, never mind the nearest crew members. “Governor Nashton’s son? Here? On the Black Pearl?”

“You must be mistaken”, Edward muttered, getting increasingly more uncomfortable being sandwiched between two unknown women like this. Barbara laughed triumphantly.

“Nah, Babs, he ain’t Nashton”, Butch said and crossed his thick arms. “Kid called himself a Van Dahl, and we all know what that means.” Barbara furrowed his eyebrows and glanced at Oswald, who was eyeing her and Butch suspiciously. He gave her a nearly invisible head shake.

“Means ‘ _blooooood’_ ”, Zsasz said in a tone that would only be used in an overdramatic ghost story.

“Well that can’t be right, Ozzie?” Barbara said, looking at Edward’s sweaty face again. “You know that ain’t right.”

“I don’t know anything! And it’s time you three _leave_!” Penguin said and limped over to the three women that had taken over his deck. “Have a nice day!”

“Oh Oswald, you’re hiding something, aren’t you?”

It was like lightning had struck Edward. Suddenly every piece of the incoherent-looking puzzle clicked together in his head. The odd look Penguin had given him when Edward had introduced himself as a Van Dahl. Why Edward had almost felt like he had met the man before. The weird amount of fondness the Captain gave Edward despite only knowing him for a few days – despite knowing he should kill him soon. The change of heart last night on the deck. The knowing glances Zsasz always gave him their direction, the way he seemed to act very different and far closer to Penguin than anyone else in his crew. Oz, Ozzie... It was all short for Oswald.

Captain Penguin was Oswald Van Dahl.

“ _GOODBYE, BARBARA!_ ” he screamed from the top of his lungs. Barbara laughed again, but miraculously gave Tabitha a sign to lower her weapon. Tabitha did so, looking incredibly disappointed now that Edward was able to properly see the woman. The name Tabitha Galavan had struck him as familiar when Penguin – _Oswald??_ – had mentioned it in the passing, but he immediately recognized her now that their faces met.

“You’re Silver’s aunt”, Edward managed to get out, but it didn’t seem like anyone was listening to him anymore. The three women were busy leaving the Pearl before Penguin was going to snap and slice them all into sushi, and the crew looked just as confused as Edward felt.

“Have fun, Ozzie!” Barbara was sure to shout after getting to the safety of her own ship. Oswald said nothing. He looked very tired and very anxious all of sudden. He shook his head a little before putting his sword away and taking his walking stick into a tight grasp. He looked at Edward for a brief moment, swallowed and turned away. No one made any effort to stop the Sirens from leaving the scene, nor did the crew say a word when their captain limped quickly away, shutting himself in his cabin.

“Uhh”, Zsasz broke the silence on the Pearl, still aiming his guns at nothing. “Can I shoot now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> barbara queen has made her appearance, and the plot thickens >:D "where in the world is jim gordon?!"  
> ed and ozzie have a lot to talk about in the next chapter, so this as well as the following one will probably be rlly dialogue-based!


	6. oswald and edward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while writing chapter 5 (swords crossed), i came to realize a terrible plot hole; how could 15-year-old oswald have the medallion, given to him by his father, when he only robbed the treasure when he was 18?  
> i honestly can't find a good way to explain all of this, so please just... ignore it? :D it's not really the center of attention here and i hope y'all can look past it lmaooo i'm a dumb bitch

Oswald hadn’t come out of his cabin for the entirety of the day ever since he had closed himself in there. Zsasz had desperately tried to open the locked door but hadn’t kicked through it even though everybody knew he had the means to do so. Edward, on the other hand, had spent the day anxiously pacing around the deck and trying to distract himself in any way possible. It hadn’t worked. His mind was a foggy mess and he was trying so hard to figure out how to feel. Also, how Oswald was feeling. Was he angry that Ed had lied? Was he embarrassed he hadn’t told Ed who he really was? What was going to happen to Edward, anyway, now that the Captain knew he would not be able to break the curse since he wasn’t a Van Dahl?

Finally, when Edward had worn himself out by walking for hours, he stopped in front of the cabin’s door and sighed. He turned up his head and pursed his lips together, trying to appear more in check than he actually was. He knocked on the door and waited patiently. He wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get a response. He knocked again, a bit more eagerly this time.

“Captain?” he called him, biting his lip. “Oswald, please open the door. We need to talk.”

Using the man’s first name seemed to have worked, because the lock clicked open. Edward turned the doorknob and stepped inside the familiar cabin, very careful and cautious. For all he knew, Oswald could shoot him on sight. That wasn’t the case, though. Edward realized that his namesake monkey had been the one to tinker the door open while the pirate captain himself sat on a big armchair, glass of booze in hand. Edward knew he couldn’t get a buzz from it so maybe it was just a principle.

“Hello”, Edward said. Oswald refused to look at him, instead staring out of the window out to the sea. The sun was slowly setting, but it was nowhere near nightfall yet. Edward the monkey climbed up the chair and took a seat on Oswald’s shoulder. The raven-haired man ran a hand through his hair – he wasn’t wearing his usual hat – and sighed long and deep.

“Take a seat”, he finally said. Edward did as he was told and pulled up a chair to sit on. He stayed a safe distance away from the Captain. Silence fell again, and Edward swallowed. How were they supposed to start this conversation? Which one of them had the right to be pissed?

“You lied to me, Edward.” Oswald still wasn’t looking at Ed and took a sip of the liquor. It did nothing to soothe his senses. Edward’s heart skipped a beat, and he crossed his arms defensively.

“So did you, _Oswald_ ”, he emphasized the name out of spite. Oswald glanced at him but quickly lowered his case.

“Why did you introduce yourself with my name?” he asked quietly, thoughtfully, almost like he was asking the question from himself. “Why Van Dahl?”

“It was the first name that came to my mind”, Edward said truthfully, fiddling with his cufflink. “It just so happened I had a dream about you the night before my kidnapping and when I thought of the necklace, I was reminded of you.”

“Cute, but that doesn’t explain why you didn’t just say Edward Nashton.”

“I thought you wanted to kidnap me if I were to reveal I was the governor’s son! Turns out I just made everything worse, damn it”, Edward huffed and shook his head. Truly, he would not have gotten into such a mess if he hadn’t lied. Oswald smiled melancholically.

“I recognized you the moment you said your first name”, he revealed, and Ed’s eyes widened.

“Why didn’t you say so, then?!” he asked, flabbergasted.

“Really, Ed? The whole crew was there. I know they didn’t give a damn about the potential money your father would have handed over in an exchange to have his son back, but I do also know that they’re feral beings. They absolutely would have taken the chance to have a piece of such an aristocrat’s ass”, Oswald said, frowning in frustration. Edward felt a twitch inside him. Oswald was probably right, but it only made him feel worse.

“So you kept the lie going to protect me?” he asked and looked at Oswald again, who was finally willing to keep eye contact.

“I did it to protect myself”, Oswald said and sucked in a breath, throwing his half-finished glass away. It smashed against the piano and shattered on the floor, making Edward jump. He didn’t want Oswald to start shouting again. It was the last thing he needed right now and seeing the man angry truly scared him.

“What do you mean?” Ed asked, confused. He really didn’t understand what was so terrible about this.

“My crew... All they know me by is Penguin. Hell, most of them don’t even know my first name. And _none_ of them know my real family name.” He shook his head again. “No one except Zsasz. He’s the only person here that I trust with that kind of information.”

“But why?” Edward asked, unable to hide his confusion and shock any longer. “I mean, shouldn’t it be a good thing that they know the person that can break the curse?”

“That’s the issue I was getting at”, Oswald said, furrowing his eyebrows. Then his expression shifted drastically. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. He leaned back into his chair and blinked, looking up at the ceiling. Ed frowned.

“What is it?”

“The curse”, Oswald said, words getting caught in his throat. He cleared it with a cough and tried to calm himself down. “Everything I’ve told them is a lie. It’s all a lie.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Edward asked, louder than before. He was getting tired of how cryptic Oswald was being. He sat on the edge of his seat and grabbed Oswald’s arm firmly. “Tell me. No more lies.”

“God, Ed...”, Oswald spluttered. He looked at Ed, eyes filled with tears. “There is no way to break the curse.”

Edward had been prepared for a lot of different things, but this was not on that list. For a moment he just stared at Oswald, trying to comprehend what the man had said. It made no sense in his head whatsoever. “But you have the last piece of the treasure... and you have the person who can break it. You can break it.”

“You don’t get it!” Oswald snapped suddenly and grasped Edward’s arm in a similar fashion that the man had just done. “The curse needs a blood sacrifice. _A blood sacrifice!_ The curse breaker’s blood must touch the treasure!”

“So you’ll have to die?” Ed asked slowly.

“Ed I AM IMMORTAL!” Oswald screamed, tugging on Ed’s sleeves in growing desperation to be heard. “I don’t bleed! I can’t die! I can not break the curse and I’m the only Van Dahl on this earth to do so!”

Finally, Edward realized the seriousness of the situation. He opened his mouth, but had seemingly forget how to speak, because nothing came out. What could he say? Only a couple days ago he had been sure he was going to have to die in order for the curse to break. Now it seemed utterly unbreakable. “Oswald, I-“

“If my crew finds out they will torture me to the ends of the Earth. Maybe wait until sundown and rip apart all my bones, bury them so no one will ever find them? God, I don’t even know...”, Oswald blabbered, not giving Ed a chance to speak up. “I’ve put them through this. They’re stuck like me for the rest of their immortal lives. All this time I’ve known, unable to say anything!”

“You said Zsasz knows you’re the Van Dahl?” Edward interrupted his monologue, trying to sound as comforting as possible.

“Yes”, Oswald said and snivelled. “He knows. I don’t know if he’s realized how doomed we all are but... He’s gonna leave me once he does. I know it. No one can stay by my side when they find out.”

“Is there _any_ other way to break the curse?” Edward asked, sounding almost as desperate as Oswald himself.

“Trust me, I’ve been trying to figure that out for years. Nothing else works as far as I’m aware”, Oswald shook his head for emphasis. They stayed quiet for a while, until a question arose in Ed’s mind.

“Wait. If you knew I could not break the curse, why did you take me with you?” he set it out in the air. Oswald’s expression turned from grief to simply unreadable. He turned his head away from Ed and crossed his arms softly, biting his lip. “I’m no use to you? Why the hell am I here?” Ed pressed on.

“I- I...”, Oswald was trying to find the right words. Edward got scared when he saw a single tear fall from the Captain’s eye, roll across the pale cheek. “W-when I saw you, after so long... I didn’t wanna lose you again”, Oswald muttered, swallowing audibly. “I wanted to have you around just for a little longer. I was being selfish. Like I always am”, he chuckled sadly and wiped his face.

“Oswald...”, Ed whispered, even though no one else was around.

“But it broke my heart when you couldn’t even recognize me”, Oswald continued, making Edward shut up once more. “That night when I told you about the curse, you- you tried to kill me. You were terrified of me. Disgusted and scared, looked like you were ready to jump over the rail into the sea just to get away from me.” More tears fell from his eye, and his lip quivered.

“But yesterday, you were different. You looked at me and smiled and it made me happier than I’ve been in ages. When you played the piano for me I felt so happy I could have died. And then it all was ruined again.” Oswald shivered at the memory, subconsciously curling his body up like a scared child. “I felt so disgusted with myself. I went to the deck with Zsasz and... I wept against his shoulder like a moron.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that”, Edward said almost mechanically.

“You know, Ed...”, Oswald muttered, wiping his face once more to stop the tears from flowing so freely. “When you saved my life back then, every day since then I wished I could see you again. But I never did. And it felt like fate when I met you again. I didn’t want to let it go. But there is no ‘ _fate_ ’”, he finished bitterly.

“I also wished I could see you again”, Edward said honestly, and put his hand on Oswald’s knee. “I missed you for a long time, until eventually I gave up. I shouldn’t have given up. But I kept the necklace as a memory of that day.”

“You stole the medallion from me... Why?” Oswald asked, eager to change the subject away from his feelings for just a moment. Edward blushed a little and dropped his gaze. Oswald didn’t sound angry, just disappointed. Hurt.

“I didn’t want father to see it. He would’ve probably tossed you back in the water if he’d realized you were a pirate”, Edward attempted to explain as rationally as possible. He swiftly let out the part where he had an obsessive fascination with pirates and acted like a magpie when he saw something shiny and pretty. “I did it to protect you.”

“When I realized it was gone, I was devastated”, Oswald said passively, pulling the medallion in question out of his shirt. It had been dangling off his neck the whole time. “It was the only thing I had from my father. I thought I had lost it and failed his memory.” Ouch, Edward felt physical pain from that statement. So it seemed both of Oswald’s parents were dead, then.

“What happened after the authorities took you once we arrived at the port?” Edward asked. It was a question that had been bugging him for years.

“I went back to live with my mother. She tried so hard to protect me since then”, Oswald said and smiled melancholically at the memory, still fidgeting with the necklace. “I think she blamed herself for what had happened to me. I had _begged_ to be on that trip with my father. And she had finally said yes after I had promised to do the house chores for a year straight.” A small, dry chuckle emitted from the Captain.

“After I returned, she refused to let me anywhere near water. She guarded me like her life depended on it. That went on for a year or two. But she knew I craved to return to the sea. Pick up what my father had left behind, start over...”

“Was your father in charge of the Pearl before you?” Edward questioned him, getting increasingly interested in the topic. Oswald shook his head.

“The Pearl was his biggest challenger. He’d wanted to take them down for ages. So I finished what he started. When I heard the infamous Black Pearl was arriving at Port Gotham, I saw a chance and took it.” Oswald’s smile was a little stronger now, and he looked more determined than upset. “I was seventeen when I stuck on board, pretending to be just an eager boy that wanted to join the crew. That went on for two weeks, until at nightfall I finally attacked Captain Mooney. We had a huge fight on the deck. She mangled my leg, but I managed to stab her in the heart and toss her overboard.”

“Did no one stop you? Suspect you?” Edward asked, on the edge of his seat both figuratively and literally.

“Nope”, Oswald said. “They all just stood there and watched. That’s the way it was back then. Fish Mooney was a self-righteous woman who didn’t want anyone’s help. She insisted on taking me alone. She probably thought a dumb kid like me was an easy kill. Hell, _I_ thought so. But luck was on my side that night. I won.”

“What happened next?”

“I took over the ship. I sailed back to Gotham and told my mom everything that had happened. She was mad at me, but I managed to convince her to come with me. _‘We could sail to the edge of the world, mom!’_ I said. ‘ _Like father would have wanted.’_ ” Oswald’s smile faded. “It was the biggest mistake of my life. Taking her with me, that is.”

“You said... that Tabitha killed your mother, right?” Edward confirmed, unsure whether it was proper to approach the subject head-on. Oswald nodded shortly.

“We had already found the treasure at that point. I think especially Butch was mad at me for getting us into such a pickle, but he knew he couldn’t hurt me physically. At the same time, the word of Fish Mooney’s confirmed death had sailed over to the Sirens. Tabitha was furious. She had been looking up to Mooney – they all had, really. After all, a woman in the lead of the most powerful pirate ship anyone had ever seen? That spoke levels.” Oswald scratched the monkey’s belly as he spoke in order to distract himself from the gloomy memories.

“Butch leaked our location to her, as well as the date in which he would be on night watch. She managed to sneak onboard without anyone alerting me. Butch also warned her about the curse, about how I was unkillable. That’s when she got the genius idea to hurt the only person capable of getting hurt.”

“Pause”, Ed raised a hand to shut Oswald up. “Your mother didn’t get the curse?”

“She was the only one of us that didn’t touch the treasure – thank heavens for that”, Oswald explained. “I kept the whole thing secret. I made sure she never saw any of us at night. She was always safely tucked under the deck when the moonlight came. That went on for almost three months, until... until Tabitha...”

“Until Tabitha killed her”, Ed finished the sentence. Oswald shuddered and swallowed audibly.

“I heard screaming from her cabin and rushed in. Tabitha had already escaped through the window by that point, and there was no point chasing her anyway”, he said and wiped his teary eye again. “All I could do was watch as my mother faded away on my arms. I- Fuck...”

Silence fell once more. Oswald was crying again, and Edward had no idea how to comfort him. He wasn’t great at reassuring words. Oswald had been talking for so long that the sun outside had almost set. Ed did the only thing reasonable at that moment and decided it was his time to talk.

“I also lost my mother”, he said quietly, fidgeting with a coin he had found from his pocket. “She was ill, and no one could save her. She slept away on the night of my fifteenth birthday.” He had never talked about her mother’s death with anyone. His father had completely denied any mention of her ever since it had happened, and grieving had been nigh unacceptable at the Nashton household from that point on. In some way, Edward guessed his father blamed himself for the death, even though it obviously was no one’s fault. He realized he had also teared up.

“I’m sorry”, Oswald said, voice weak and wavering. “You don’t deserve to go through a loss like that.”

“I wish I had had someone there when she left.” Ed’s voice trembled, and he removed his glasses when the first tear fell on the lens. “I had no friends, my father blamed everyone and everything – me, himself, the doctors...”

“I suppose we’re both enormous messes, then”, Oswald tried to lighten the mood and huffed a silent laugh. Ed also laughed nervously, wiping his face dry. While it was hard to talk about something so private and upsetting, Edward still found himself more relaxed than he’d been earlier. Maybe it was the fact that he had someone to relate to, maybe he was just tired.

“It’s getting late, Ed. I’m sorry for keeping you awake for so long, ranting”, Oswald said and straightened his back. He was clearly ready to put the conversation past them.

“Isla de Muerta tomorrow, huh?” Edward said to himself, running a hand through his curls. “Shit.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself”, Oswald said as he stood up, stretching his peg leg and back. Edward the monkey jumped up and disappeared into the corner of the room. Oswald stepped right in front of Edward and put a hand of his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know”, Ed said. He really didn’t know. Oswald frowned and nodded.

“I promise I’ll figure something out”, he said but sounded very uncertain. What could he figure out, really? He’d just said there was no way of breaking the curse besides blood. Something he didn’t have in the first place. “I understand if you feel like you want to leave. I can ask Zsasz to prepare a longboat for you if that be the case.”

Edward raised his head suddenly, looking even a little offended. “What? No! I’m not running away!” he said, standing up also. Oswald had to stretch his neck in order to lock eyes with Ed. The younger man looked determined, and Oswald couldn’t help but grin a little.

“Your call”, he said. “Just wanted to say it’s an option. Not many would stay in your situation.”

“I brought this upon myself, and I’ll help you figure something out. I swear”, Ed said and raised his hand firmly. “Shall we shake on that?”

Oswald looked at his hand for a moment before his expression softened. “Please. We’re friends”, he said and smiled. “A hug.”

“A hug it is”, Ed said, also smirking slightly. They pulled one another into a long-awaited embrace. Ed’s heart ached when he felt how tight Oswald was holding him. It was like the Captain was scared that Ed was going to vanish into thin air if he let go even for a moment. Edward also tightened his hold of the shorter man. They were going to get through this, he thought, but frowned. How the _hell_ were they going to get through this...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't usually cry over my own writing but i did tear up during this one ;u;  
> hope you found this little heart-to-heart emotional too!
> 
> let's just say things are gonna go downhill from here, boys and girls


	7. to the pirates' cave

Their estimated arrival to Isla de Muerta was near sundown, which gave Oswald and Edward almost a full day time to come up with anything resembling a plan. Edward had finally fallen asleep sometime during their scheming and woke up to find the cabin empty. He was laying haphazardly on Oswald’s bed, and someone had put a blanket over him to keep him warm. Edward smiled at the gesture as he got up and started preparing for the day. He could only remember snippets from the night before; he had gotten his hands on a bottle of booze and hadn’t been scared to drink it to soothe his nerves. Oswald had gotten increasingly anxious as the night had gone on, and Ed had passed out at some point into another one of his incoherent babbles.

The sky was already light when he exited the cabin. He had changed his clothes and his hair was flowing free in the wind. It was quite a mess nowadays and he was in a desperate need of a bath, but that was something they definitely did not have on the Black Pearl. It was probably part of the pirate code to never bathe themselves. Oswald’s musky perfume always hid any possible unwanted smells. Maybe Edward should use that life hack too. He spotted the Captain anxiously pacing back and forth on the poop deck, followed by Zsasz who was clearly trying to be the voice of reason in their conversation.

“Boss, calm down, will ya? This ain’t helpin’ you one bit”, the bald man said, reaching for Oswald’s shoulder to grab on. Oswald shook his hand away and looked like he was ready to bite. His expression immediately softened when he saw Edward emerge from the staircase.

“Good morning”, Ed said and yawned unintentionally. Oswald sighed, and Ed couldn’t tell if it was out of stress of relief.

“Nothing good about this”, Oswald said and spat over the rail.

“Oh, come on now”, Edward tried his best to sound encouraging. “We have a plan, don’t we?”

“Yeah. A plan. Singular. What happens when the plan fails?” Oswald asked with a sarcastic smile.

“Wanna, uhhh, share this plan of yours?” Zsasz asked and stepped in-between Penguin and Edward in order to calm them down. Edward peeked over Victor’s shoulder, looking for a confirmation from Oswald. The raven-haired man nodded before turning around and continuing his useless marching.

“Well, um. We get to the island. We enter the cave with the crew, and we perform the blood curse thing with me. Oswald will slit my hand and... it will not work. So then I reveal I’m not the man you’ve been looking for and I, uh, run.” Now that Edward had vocalized this plan of theirs, he realized how idiotic it sounded. Zsasz didn’t look convinced either.

“Not to be rude or anythin’ but that’s an awful plan, Eddie”, he said and crossed his arms.

“Yeah I know”, Ed’s shoulders slumped, and he closed his eyes, sighing. “But it’s all we’ve got.”

“You do realize it’s _Isla_ de Muerta, not _Tierra_ de Muerta, right? An island? Surrounded by water? And sharks?” Victor’s tone kept getting more and more confused as he went on. “So unless you’re Jesus Christ himself and can walk on water, I dunno how this plan will work out, dude.”

“Speaking of water”, Edward swiftly avoided the questions when he felt a water droplet on his face, followed by a bunch more. The sky had been grey since last evening, but only now it began raining. He heard Oswald grunt in annoyance.

“Great. What _else_ could go wrong on such a lovely day?”

_A lot of things,_ was apparently the answer to the Captain’s question, but they didn’t figure it out until much later in the day. The rainfall had continued all throughout the day and the clouds only began separating when the sun was already dipping below the horizon. Edward had been dozing off inside the cabin, reading – or more-so flipping through – a random book, when a faint shout was heard outside.

“ _Isla de Muerta! Isla de Muerta, off the port bow!”_

Edward jumped up from the armchair he’d been lounging on and almost knocked over a candleholder as he rushed to the door and out on the deck. Oswald moved to the rail at the same time as Edward did, and they stared into the horizon. The storm clouds were breaking up, only a faint sprinkle of rain falling from the sky. On the horizon loomed a dark, ominous shape; Isla de Muerta. The island was barely anything more than sheer unfriendly cliffs that shot straight into the water around them. Surrounded by the slate grey sea, it was the last place any living creature was expected to be found.

Oswald grasped the rail with both hands, his expression a mixture of loathing and fear. Edward swallowed and decided it was best to stay quiet. Zsasz approached them from behind, clearly hesitant which was very unlike the bald man.

“Orders, Captain?” he asked, looking out to the sea rather than Oswald’s anxiety-filled expression.

“Bring her in, not too close. I won’t brave the reef, not until high tide.” Oswald’s voice did nothing to hide the terror on his face. “We lay anchor before dark.” Zsasz nodded, backing away cautiously. Edward watched as the man left, but Oswald continued to stare at the island.

“...that is, if it first doesn’t sink back down to hell from where it came.” Edward didn’t understand the sentence but was honestly too restless to ask for any elaboration.

It took about an hour for the tides to settle on their side. Most of the crew took the boats and the trip across the water could begin. Edward felt oddly nostalgic despite never being there in his life. Perhaps it was the fact that he was once again being escorted by Zsasz and the other Victor, both of them on the oars this time around. It was almost like he was being rowed away from Port Gotham again. Yet somehow, he felt even more uneasy now than he had back then. Oswald’s fidgeting and nervous tapping on his cane did nothing to soothe Ed’s nerves.

If Isla de Muerta had been intimidating to look at from the deck, it had been nothing compared to the feeling of actually setting foot on the island ground. Oswald stared deep into the cave in front of them, no expression in his eye. Still, by the stiffened shoulders anyone could tell the man was positively terrified. Around him a group of pirates, Edward among them, stood as still as stones, in front of the dark cave opening. Their faces looked upward, their total lack of movement disconcerting.

Above the cave, on a hillock, Victor – not Zsasz, the other – gazed out towards the horizon. Edward shuddered as he watched the silhouette of a man slowly transform, head-to-toe, from pirate to skeleton. The moon had climbed free of the storm clouds, rising large. Perhaps in some situation Edward could have stared at it and been in awe of its beauty, but not when there was an undead monster standing in the way of it.

“Moonrise, Captain! First night of full”, Victor shouted down and waved one of his freaky bone-hands.

“So it would seem”, Oswald muttered, barely audible to anyone. He turned around to face his crew, appearing more determined and confident than he was. “Be mindful of pits and crevasses. Stay together.” He limped up to Butch and snatched a torch from the man’s meaty hand. He let out a deep sigh and shook his head, perhaps to shake off the uneasy feelings, before moving into the cave.

Edward had never been a fan of closed-off underground spaces, and he was convinced that the fear of them hadn’t disappeared when he followed Oswald on close proximity. It was dark and cold and wet, which prompted the group to keep together under their Captain’s firelight. The path they walked on was framed with boulders, sloping downhill. From the echoes and shadows, it was clear the cave system must’ve been huge. Still, Edward took notice of how naturally Oswald moved around even with his peg leg. He didn’t slip once on the slimy stones and seemed to know the placement of each hole and crevasse like the insides of his own pocket.

Edward glanced over – the torches illumined caverns off to the side. Just the edge of a mound of coins was noticeable in the dim light jumping around the cave walls. Clearly there was more money, but the rest was lost in darkness. Edward, still gazing up and around in wonder, moved a few feet away from the rest of the group. As scary as it was, he wasn’t going to miss the only opportunity for an adventure he had in his life. Oswald noticed him trailing away from the crew and quickly limped after him. Oswald grabbed Edward just in time as the brunette got dangerously near a chasm.

“Careful, Ed”, he said, and Edward flinched in surprise, looking down to his feet that were almost dangling off the edge of the ravine. “Fall down there, you’d die and miss Judgement Day – for not even the Lord himself’ll come look for you there.”

“What’s down there?” Edward’s curiosity took over as he took a careful pair of steps away from the chasm. Oswald let go of his coat and shrugged.

“Some say it’s the Kraken livin’ in there”, Zsasz overheard the conversation and jumped over a big rock to reach the pair.

“Please”, the other Victor tuned in. He had climbed down the cave after the rest of the crew and was back to his fleshy self. “As much as I love chatting about giant killer squids, don’t ya think there’s a more important quest at hand?” He gestured at the rest of the crew that had continued despite their leader staying behind, descending down a dark path to somewhere. They kept walking for what felt like ages, until finally the pirates stoop low to enter a cavern...

...and revealed the spectacular treasure of Isla de Muerta.

The entire cave was with the lack of a better term... overflowing. Chests of coins, gold and silver ingots, jewellery, objects or art from paintings to statues, jade and ivory, brightly colored silks that looked like something Edward’s father would have killed to have, furniture, jewels and pearls, mirrors, swords... Anything and everything of value that was carriable by ship was here, dumped around carelessly like it was trash.

The pirates moved through the clutter like it was nothing, while Edward couldn’t help but gaze in awe. He brushed a hand through a pile of old-looking coins, probably from the 13th century or something, causing it to fall and clatter on the ground to his feet. Oswald followed right beside him, still expressionless and clutching his walking stick like it was the most priced of his possessions.

“The curse drove you to gather... all of this?” Edward asked him, gesturing around the treasure, eyes wide in admiration yet also terror.

“Aye. And not a bit of it any use to us, only hoarded”, Oswald said and shook his head, looking around the room with a gloomy expression. Edward frowned in sympathy. It must have been awful for them. All this money and riches around, but no matter what they did with it, it was useless. And it seemed it was unstoppable, like an itch you could never get rid of.

“But it will drive us no longer”, Butch said and slammed his wooden hand on Oswald’s back so aggressively the man almost fell over. “Aye, Cap?”

“Aye”, Oswald muttered and cracked his neck. Edward gave him a worried look, one of which Oswald returned with a barely visible shake of his head. Edward turned around and paused walking for a moment, staring at himself in a jewel-encrusted mirror. It was obscure how much he had changed in only a few days. He looked like he had aged years. Messy hair and dark circles under his eyes, skin sickly pale and unhealthy-looking. He was wearing the blonde Victor’s old clothes since he was pretty long-legged fellow, and Oswald’s clothes certainly didn’t fit Ed’s lanky body. He looked nothing like himself. Even his glasses had a crack in them.

“Chop-chop”, the owner of the clothes said, pushing him along. “Let’s get this shit over with. I’m starving.”

The pirate group reached the end of a small chamber of mostly jewels and pearl piled around a large bed – Edward couldn’t help but wonder who had once laid in that bed. Was it stolen for it’s value or had someone actually lived here? – and they then emerged into the largest cavern of all. It was also crammed with treasure, including several mountains of gold coins that reached the ceiling. Edward, calculative as always, bet there was enough money in all the caves combined to buy control over the entire West Coast Navy.

Treasure truly was everywhere, except for one spot in the center of the cavern. A hole high up in the ceiling let in a column of moonlight, which illuminated what was underneath it; a stone chest, lid pushed back, decorated with carved Aztec glyphs, filled with large gold coins identical to Oswald’s precious medallion. Edward gulped as he saw the sharp knife that laid on top of the treasure. He winced when he noticed what was in front of the chest; buried in sand there was a skeleton – and that one didn’t look like it was going to move ever again, judging by the sword blasted through its spine.

Butch and Victor grabbed Edward by the arms in order to not let him run away while Oswald stepped in front of the treasure chest with rising panic. Zsasz followed right after, giving his captain an uncertain glance before taking the stone knife from the chest. Even though Edward knew probably wasn’t going to be killed, he couldn’t help but shrink back when Zsasz approached him. It didn’t do much of anything, though, since the other Victor and especially Butch had a death grip on him.

“Here we stand before the cursed treasure of Cortez himself. Won by blood”, he swallowed and side-eyed Edward, trying his best to not break his facade in front of the excited-looking crew, “it demands blood in return.” He finished his sentence with a shudder and lowered his gaze, staring stubbornly at his feet. All eyes, except his, were now on Edward. Zsasz saw how scared Edward was and grinned, probably trying his best to look reassuring. It didn’t work. Ed yelped and turned his head away when Zsasz grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him closer to the chest. Edward shut his eyes as Victor raised the knife.

The awaited pain of having his entire forearm sliced off didn’t come. Instead, Edward opened his eyes in surprise when Zsasz very carefully, daintily even, used just the sharp tip of the knife to barely even prick Edward’s finger. One tiny red drop of blood appeared, dripping down onto the medallion Zsasz had been holding in his spare hand.

“What did you expect?” Zsasz asked and smirked when he saw Edward’s disbelief. “We’re all gentlemen here, right and proper.” The pirates laughed, but Edward and Zsasz both knew there was more meaning behind the words. Oswald interrupted their staring contest by taking the medallion from Zsasz and carefully approaching the chest that shone in the beam of moonlight.

Oswald took a deep breath, steadying his trembling body, and raised the blood-coated medallion. “What was begun by blood”, he exclaimed, “let blood now end!” He tensed his shoulders and tossed the gold medallion onto the other coins. It felt like all oxygen was suddenly sucked out of the air, because no one did as much as breathe when they watched the medallion contact to the others. The crew looked tensed, waiting, expectant. A long beat. Edward swallowed as the pirates began glancing at each other, at themselves. Nothing happened.

“Did it work?” Butch asked, loosing his grip of Edward subconsciously.

“I don’t feel no different”, Headhunter said from the crowd, patting his chest like it was going to do something.

“How do we tell?” Victor furrowed his white eyebrows, completely letting go of Edward who was manically glancing around him in order to execute the next part of their plan. Oswald, clearly keen on getting Edward to move already, rolled his eyes and drew a pistol out of nowhere. Before Victor could move, Oswald shot the pirate square in the chest at a close proximity. Edward managed to duck out of the way when the bullet shot through Victor’s entire body. Victor reacted in shock and grabbed his chest, but nothing happened.

“You’re not dead”, Butch said helpfully like it wasn’t obvious.

“No”, Victor said and stared at the hole in his shirt. Then, the realization hit him, and he turned his head to Oswald, looking incredibly offended. “He shot me!”

Oswald looked at Victor with zero regret but in reality he was observing Edward, who still hadn’t gotten a move on. Oswald shifted his balance anxiously, trying to indicate without words that now would be a pristine time to disappear. Edward took the hint and snatched his arm free from Butch’s loose grasp.

“It didn’t work!” Butch shouted, turning his head between Oswald, Victor and Edward furiously. “The curse is still upon us!”

“He _shot_ me!” Victor yelled, still holding his chest.

Butch searched his mind for an answer, before swiftly realizing he was no longer holding Edward. “Hey!” he groaned, turning around to see Edward hurrying down the enormous stack of coins they were standing on. “You! Servant! Back here!”

Ed had underestimated the amount of people in the cavern. He barely managed to get a few feet away from the chest before a strong pair of arms already grabbed him from behind and lifted him in the air. He writhed in Headhunter’s strong grasp, flinging and kicking his legs around uselessly as the huge man dragged him back to the treasure chest.

“Your father. What was his name?” Butch asked and grabbed Edward’s arm roughly as Headhunter plopped him on the ground, still holding him in place. Edward’s panicked glance met Oswald’s, who was frozen in place, unsure of what to do. “Was your father Elijah Van Dahl?” Butch demanded.

Even in his shitty situation, Edward didn’t miss the opportunity to give Butch an obnoxious smile before answering, “No.” The pirates cried out in alarm, starting to get increasingly worked up and fussy. Oswald, who had suddenly learned how to move again, gathered himself and got his emotions under steely control. He pranced up to Butch who looked like he was about to hit Edward.

“You brought us the wrong person!” Butch shouted, moving his anger towards the two Victors, one of which was still shocked over the fact that Oswald shot him and the other awkwardly standing next to the treasure chest where Oswald had left him.

“He had the medallion! He’s the right age. He said his name was Van Dalh!” the blonde Victor shouted back, getting just as irritated and confused with every passing moment. “He _must_ be lying!”

Edward, once again forgotten by everyone, started very slowly backing away from the group of angry men. Oswald turned around, frowning, but Headhunter stopped him. “You brought us here for nothing?” he asked, low voice echoing in the chamber. Oswald whirled on him, expression filled with so many different emotions that Ed couldn’t even categorize them.

“You should know not to question me!” he shouted back, tilting his neck so he could face the tall man head-on.

“You were _wrong_ , Penguin!” Butch growled, siding with the dark-skinned pirate. “You were fooled by a damn servant!”

“Hey, let’s take it easy-“ Zsasz tried to intervene, but the other Victor shoved him away so aggressively that the bald man nearly fell over.

“Shut the hell up, baldie!” Victor yelled, pale cheeks now red with rage and embarrassment. “The kid could be lying! Maybe the one drop of blood wasn’t enough?” he suggested, looking around for Edward who was moving slowly away from the discourse. Suddenly, he felt everyone’s eyes on him again. There was no way he could escape, or even attempt to. He was trapped. His heartbeat went mad when Butch approached him, having snatched the stone blade from the ground where Zsasz had dropped it.

“Let’s shed all the blood from him”, he said, getting nods and angry grunts in return. “Just in case.” Edward whined when Butch pulled him near, drawing the blade while pushing Edward on his knees on the ground. He raised the blade and Edward stared in terror, not being able to look away.

“STOP! Stop it, now!” Oswald screamed so loud it hurt the ears. It worked, though, and Butch’s hand froze in mid-air. The heavyset man looked at his captain, startled and pissed off. Everyone was waiting for Oswald to speak up.

“He’s not lying”, Oswald finally said and straightened his spine to appear tall and strong despite visibly shaking.

“How do you know?” Headhunter asked, walking closer to the smaller man.

“Oh, I know”, Oswald said and even managed to pull off a fairly convincing smirk. “For _I_ am Oswald Van Dalh; the only son of Elijah Van Dahl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're DUMB!!!!!!!!


	8. blood ritual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a shorter chapter this time around, but no less emotional! tw: blood and violence

The entire cavern was so silent one could have heard a feather falling to the ground. Only the quiet drops of a distant waterfall broke the utter silence as everyone stared at their Captain, trying to comprehend what had just come out of the man’s mouth. Edward, still at knifepoint, stared at Oswald too. He had not expected the man to reveal his secret so bluntly, but he was thankful for the fact that everybody’s anger was steadily shifting towards the raven-haired man instead of Ed himself.

“What?!” Butch broke the silence, and it felt like the oxygen finally filled the cave once again. It was almost like a light being switched on – the voices returned so suddenly it startled Edward. Butch dropped his arm and turned his whole body towards Oswald, squeezing the knife aggressively. Oswald turned up his nose and refused to look intimidated by the man.

“Yo, what...?” Zsasz also spoke, furrowing his non-existent eyebrows in confusion. Oswald glanced at him and swallowed, looking almost apologetic for keeping the secret from him. “Like I know Eddie here was a fraud but... it was you?”

“The whole time it was _you_?” the other Victor chimed in and stepped closer to Penguin. Oswald didn’t move an inch. “You’re the heir?”

“You lied to all of us!” Butch snapped, pointing at Oswald with the knife. The heavyset man looked around the crew to prove his point. “He lied to every one of you! First he kills your captain, then pulls this shit!”

“Shut up, you moron”, Oswald said through gritted teeth and took a step closer to Butch.

“No”, Butch growled, also stepping forward. “ _You_ shut up, Penguin.” Before Oswald could resist, Butch launched forward and buried the knife deep in his chest, driving his point home with the stab. The audience gasped, both out of shock and excitement, but both of the men in action were dead quiet. Oswald stared into Butch’s burning eyes, his face slowly turning into a triumphant grin.

“No...”, Butch repeated, staring at the man’s chest. He pulled out the stone knife and stabbed Oswald again, straight into the abdomen. Pulled the knife out, stuck it back in. Out. In. Out. Oswald laughed manically, looking at Butch’s furious expression.

“Don’t you get it?!” Oswald shouted at the man’s face, shaking with pitiful laughter. At the same time, he sounded like he was about to have a breakdown. “No blood, Butch! No blood means no blood curse!”

“You son of a bitch”, Butch murmured, staring at the knife in vain.

“Don’t you talk about my mother like that, for you are the one that got her killed!” Oswald said, suddenly defensive and angry.

“What the fuck are we gonna do now?” Victor interrupted the pair’s quarrel by stepping in-between them. He was angry, yes, but even more than that he looked terrified. “Are we stuck? Forever?”

“This is ALL his fault!” Butch shouted, pointing the knife at Oswald in an accusatory manner while addressing the crowd once again. “He needs to pay for this! He turned us into MONSTERS for his own gain!”

“Aren’t you forgetting something, _Butch_?” Oswald yelled back, grabbing the knife by the blade without even blinking. “There is nothing you can do to cause me pain! This curse is already the ultimate punishment!”

“For you, perhaps, but for us?” Victor asked. “What the hell did we ever do to deserve this fate? All this because you were a greedy bastard who couldn’t keep his beak out of other people’s treasures!”

Oswald looked offended but gathered himself rather fast. “You little idiots followed me like a pack of wolves follow their leader! You respected me, as a-“

“Nobody ever respected you”, Headhunter tuned in, voice low and dangerous. Oswald snapped his neck in the man’s direction. Another man emerged from the crowd and nodded in agreement.

“We all followed you out of fear”, he said, dull eyes throwing daggers at their captain. “No one here cares for you, Cap. No one respects you. You killed our Captain, what else was there to do? You woulda slaughtered all of us.”

“Gabe? Seriously? You too?” Oswald squeaked. He was quickly losing all the confidence he had managed to gather.

“He’s tellin’ the truth, though”, Victor said and shrugged.

“You’re nothin’ but a beak-nosed freak”, Gabe said firmly, crossing his big arms. Oswald’s mouth gaped open, and he looked like he wanted to scream but couldn’t figure out what to say. Instead, all he managed to do in his fury is grab his pistol again and empty the entire barrel of bullets into Gabe’s chest.

“A freak?!” he spat, repeating the word after every single gunshot. Of course, Gabe didn’t even flinch when the bullets riddled him, but Oswald clearly acted in a manner of a crime of passion.

“You just proved my point”, he said calmly after Oswald had emptied his gun and thrown it on the ground with a huff.

“Well what are you gonna do about it?” Oswald asked with an annoyed smirk. “We’re all stuck. Unable to hurt each other, unable to die, unable to do FUCKALL!”

Butch looked like he wanted to punch Oswald, but like the Captain had just stated, it was utterly useless. It was quiet for a moment, as everyone was trying to come up with a decent argument or perhaps decide how to deal with Penguin, until Butch’s face suddenly lit up. He looked at Oswald with a determined gaze.

“I may have an idea”, he proposed with a smug smile.

“Do tell”, Oswald said, sounding just as sarcastic and condescending as Butch looked.

“You’re right; we can’t hurt you...”, Butch said, and Oswald nodded with a smile.

“Glad we agree.”

“...Physically”, Butch finished his sentence, causing Oswald’s eyebrow to twitch and furrow. Butch grabbed Oswald by the collar of the coat and dragged their faces right against one another. “No one said anythin’ about emotional pain.” He pushed Oswald aggressively backwards and Headhunter caught the smaller man in his arms, gripping him tightly and refusing to let go despite Oswald’s shouting and flailing.

“What are you doing?!” Oswald shouted as Butch turned to Edward, still frozen on the ground in a slight state of shock. “What?! No! Don’t touch him!”

Oswald’s screams did nothing to stop Butch. Edward tried to crawl away from the large man, but bumped his back into a boulder, too large to push back. Butch grabbed him aggressively by the arm and yanked him up from the ground. Edward felt like his shoulder had gone out of place and he suppressed a whine when he was dragged in front of the treasure chest. Oswald was writhing and screaming in Headhunter’s grasp, uselessly thrashing his body around in order to get free.

“Maybe you’re not the right blood, but tonight _will_ end by blood”, Butch snarled in Ed’s face as he pushed the brunette down into the chest of golden coins. Edward tried to hit Butch, but his wooden hand was faster, and it landed a nasty punch on Edward’s stomach. Gasping for air, Edward couldn’t do much of anything when he blurrily saw the blade rise again.

“NO!” Oswald’s hopeless screech echoed in Edward’s ears, but it was muffled by the sound of Butch’s equally loud grown and the sudden pain in Edward’s abdomen. For a moment he was simply confused, but then the burning pain hit him, and he screamed out in agony. He could feel the knife almost tickling his spine, that’s how deep it was inside of him.

Butch stood back up with a grimace and looked at the younger man laying on top of the coins. Edward felt really cold all of sudden, yet the knife inside of him felt like it was on fire. He stared into the hole in ceiling of the cavern, eyes blurred with the tears of pain, unsure if the shouting around him was coming from his own mouth or from Oswald. The voices around him were muffled and incoherent. It was like his brain was too busy dying to properly listen.

Ed wasn’t sure if he had fallen unconscious for a second, but when he opened his eyes again, he no longer saw Butch – or anyone else for that matter – around him. Well, except for a singular figure. Oswald crawled across the ground to where Edward was laying. A very weak smile spread across Edward’s face and he tried to raise his hand but found it extremely exhausting. Oswald reached the chest and Edward saw the most terrified expression on his skeletal face. His own smile also faded at that.

“Edward”, Oswald spluttered, grasping on Edward’s shoulders as he looked at the younger man. “Oh... oh God Edward I- I’m s-so sorry...” His voice trembled as much as his body in general.

“It’s... okay”, Edward whispered. “Just a- a scratch.”

Oswald laughed powerlessly, but his skinless face still resembled that of pain. “This is all my fault”, he said, pressing a hand on the handle of the knife. Edward managed to raise his hand enough to hold Oswald’s. Even in his delirious state Ed remembered that one should never pull out a weapon, since it kept the blood mostly inside the body.

“Fuck, this is _all_ my fault. I should have never taken you with me... I should have never let you stay!” Oswald went on his self-accusatory speech.

“I knew... what I was getting into”, Ed said quietly and coughed.

“I promise I’ll fix this!” Oswald said keenly and stroked Edward’s teary face with his spare hand. “I got no clue how, but I promise, you won’t die...” He didn’t sound sure of himself, but Ed still smiled a little despite the pain. He leaned into Oswald’s cold touch, and Oswald ran his bony thumb across his bloodied lips.

“It’s okay”, Oswald said, sniffling. “I will take care of you, Edward”, he followed, leaning closer to his face. He sounded more and more desperate by the second, but Edward was focusing more on the words. They sounded oddly familiar. The whole situation, in fact, seemed like a deja vu.

“You’re safe with me”, Oswald whispered, choking on his tears a little. It was odd seeing a skeleton on the brink of tears. He hadn’t known they were even able to cry.

“O-okay”, Edward muttered and smiled, eyes lidded. He remembered now. They had gone full circle. Oswald took his head in his hands and leaned in as close as possible. Edward had a hard time focusing on his face, but he tried to anyway. A single tear fell from Oswald’s eye, falling somewhere near Edward’s neck. He looked beautiful even when crying.

His eyes fluttered close as Oswald’s lips gently grazed his own. It wasn’t an amazing first kiss, but something straight out of Edward’s daydreams. He didn’t know he had needed to feel it before he already was. Oswald softly explored his bloody lips like they were the most fragile thing in the universe, still soothingly swiping his thumb back and forth on his sweaty face.

When they let go of one another, Oswald was smiling. “That... felt amazing”, he said quietly and shook his head a little. “Thank you.”

Edward couldn’t suddenly focus on any of that. He stared at Oswald like he was seeing the man for the first time. Oswald’s expression got more serious. “What’s wrong?” he asked, laughing at his own question. “I mean, besides the fact that you just got stabbed.”

“Oswald...”, Ed whispered, reaching to touch his face. “You... You’re not...”, he grazed his fingers along Oswald’s cheekbone – fully covered in skin and muscle. “What...?”

Oswald furrowed his brows and grabbed Edward’s wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. He watched their fingers intertwine as Edward kept staring at him. Oswald glanced upwards, into the hole in the ceiling. The moon hadn’t moved that much, its light still shining down into the cave and illuminating the area around the treasure chest. “What the fuck...?” Oswald looked at his own hand. And then he looked at Edward.

“How is this possible?!” Oswald demanded, staring at the knife inside Edward. “Y-your blood doesn’t work! It’s impossible! Did the curse break?” He sat up straight and examined his fingers in the moonlight. Edward rolled his head over to the side, just as confused as the Captain was. Then, he saw it.

“Oswald”, he muttered and reached for a coin next to his face. Very carefully, with a shaky hand, he raised the coin for Oswald to look. A single teardrop was balanced on top of the coin, shimmering in the moonlight. Oswald looked at it, flabbergasted.

“Your tears broke the curse”, Edward said and gave him a weak chuckle. “You’re free.” He had expected Oswald to shout victoriously and maybe throw a dance number, but instead he got startled by Oswald bursting into more tears. He flapped on top of Edward – who was too polite and apologetic to say that the movement hurt like a bitch – and buried his face in Edward’s shoulder, shaking.

“Fuck this”, he sobbed as he looked up at Edward’s face. “For years I-I’ve been begging to feel something and now that I can feel, the ONLY thing I have left is taken away from me!”

“Huh?” Edward uttered stupidly, trying to brush away the tears on Oswald’s face.

“You’re everything I care about, Edward!” Oswald yelled, voice echoing in the otherwise quiet cave. “I love you and now you’re gonna die!”

Edward blushed despite the stinging pain in his abdomen. “You what?”

“LOVE YOU! I love you, Ed! Love you so much I could die!” Oswald blabbered on, tugging on Edward’s shirt for emphasis.

“I-“, Edward sputtered, eyes wide as plates. He had suddenly lost the ability to speak. “I- I love you too, Oswald.”

Oswald laughed through his tears, relieved yet saddened. He shook his head in disbelief and caressed Ed’s face again, almost afraid that Edward was going to disappear if he stopped touching him. “One more reason to save your ass, then”, he said in a tired tone.

“How? I don’t know. But I’ll be damned if I let you die in this stupid fuckin’ cave, sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was about damn time you boys got it going huh
> 
> me: "i dont dislike butch!"  
> also me: *makes him the bad guy in every fic i write*  
> congratulations you played yourself


	9. you look good jim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm running out of song titles from the potc 1 soundtrack so i shall expand to the sequels ;D  
> the next chapter will basicly be pure fluff until we continue with the actual plot cause i feel like these boys deserve a break after isla de muerta
> 
> ALSO!! i drew some art for the AU in case you guys are curious on the way i pictured the boys in my head  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/Byagh4VFcUm/

After Oswald had made sure Edward wasn’t going to die on the spot, he stood up and started once again pacing around anxiously. Edward closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. It hurt like hell. He knew, however, that he had to stay strong and more importantly stay conscious. For Oswald. For himself. Oswald’s uneven walk cycle and constant sighing and grunting made him nervous, too. The crew had left a good while ago and most probably taken the Pearl with them, so they really had no way of getting out of the island. While under some circumstances being alone would have been good, Edward didn’t believe there was anything that could keep him alive in Isla de Muerta, literally the island of the dead.

“Boss?”

Edward opened his eyes as he heard someone speak at the entrance of the cavern. He turned his neck, wincing silently, and stared at the man who had just entered the cave. Oswald looked like God himself had arrived on Earth as he looked at... Zsasz.

“Victor?” Oswald uttered, eyes wide as plates. He let out a nervous laughter. It seemed he didn’t believe his eyes. “What- what are you doing here?”

Victor raised his arm, in which he was holding a knife. Oswald immediately backed away a little even though they were standing at the opposite ends of the cave. While both Ed and Oswald seemed to have thought Victor had returned to stab his former Captain, they were struck by surprise when Zsasz instead cut his own exposed forearm with the knife. A thin trail of blood was barely visible in the dark, but as Zsasz stepped closer to the moonlight, it became more apparent.

“Lemme ask a question first”, Zsasz said, staring Oswald with a bewildered expression. “What. The. Hell?” He emphasized his words by cutting a new wound into his flesh with every passing word. He flicked his head back to Oswald, mouth agape. “Why am I bleeding??”

“I... broke the curse”, Oswald said slowly, licking his lips. About seven different emotions brushed across Victor’s face within a few seconds as he tried to figure out whether to be confused, relieved or angry.

“How?!” he finally got out of his mouth, landing on the disbelieving facial expression.

Oswald laughed weakly. “Tears”, he sputtered. “My tears did it.”

“I thought this was a _blood_ curse.”

“Hell, I don’t know what happened!” Oswald flung his arms in the air in defeat. “All I know is that we gotta get the fuck outta here! We need to help Ed!” He gestured over to Edward, still laying on top of the chest with the knife in his stomach.

“Oh. Right”, Zsasz looked at him. “Sorry about that.”

“How did you get here?” Oswald demanded, walking right up to the bald man. “Did the crew come back?”

“Oh, no. Just me”, Victor shook his head no. “They’re gone, and so’s the Pearl. Sorry.” Oswald’s face, which had momentarily been hopeful, fell and he muttered a curse. Victor’s grin didn’t falter, however. He swiped the blood on his trousers and put his hand on the smaller man’s shoulder.

“Worry not, though! I got a boat!” he revealed, clearly very proud of himself.

“A boat”, Oswald repeated. He didn’t sound quite as impressed. “One measly boat.”

“Well I can’t row multiple, can I?” Victor sounded defensive. “Was hard enough to get that, might I add! Butch almost fuckin’ shot me!” he pouted.

“Okay, okay. Sorry”, Oswald surrendered himself – he did not need a fight right now. “A boat is excellent. _Thank you_ , Victor.”

The men shared a smile before Oswald got more serious again and looked at Edward, making sure he was still alive. “Now, can we get the hell out of this stupid goddamn island?”

The task was easier said than done. As soon as Victor grabbed Edward, he screamed in anguish. Zsasz had to drag him out princess-carry style, and they both kept moaning the whole way up the corridors they had to climb. It felt like they’d been inside the cave system for a decade, but it was rewarding to finally feel the sea air on the face when they managed to climb to freedom. Victor carefully placed Edward into the boat, and he collapsed right away, sweaty and tired. Oswald gave one more look at the cursed island before hopping into the boat, too.

“You think we could come back for grabs after your loverboy’s all well?” Zsasz suggested as he pushed the boat in water. “I mean, there’s mountains of gold.”

“Didn’t you learn _anything_?” Oswald asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose in irritation. “I’m NEVER touching that bloody treasure again.”

“Well, I mean... that treasure is technically not part of the Isla de Muerta thing. It’s ours?” Zsasz hopped into the boat and grabbed the oars while Oswald started mindlessly brushing a hand through Edward’s hair. “Legally ours, at least.”

“Yeah, sure, legally”, Oswald grinned. “Not stolen or anythin’.”

“That’s the pirate way, Cap”, Zsasz smirked back and began rowing.

And oh, did he have to row. Edward kept falling in and out of consciousness and lost all remaining track of time he might have had left when they arrived on the island. The swinging of the boat combined with Oswald and Zsasz’s quiet talking and Oswald’s hand in his hair made him calm down a little. The pain was still there, obviously, but he had managed to kind of get past it. He felt numb and sleepy, if anything at all. A louder voice broke his serene snoozing.

“Holy shit, Cap, look!” Zsasz exclaimed and let go of the oar, instead pointing into the distance. Oswald sharpened his gaze and attempted to see in the moonlight. It was definitely an outline of a vessel. His breath hitched as he rushed to grab his telescope. He expanded it and examined the ship about 1000 feet away.

“Get closer”, Oswald commanded, shaking his hand on Victor’s face to hurry him up. Zsasz sighed and grabbed the oars again, clearly tired of this little trip of theirs already. “No way”, Oswald muttered as they got closer to the ship.

“Friends or foes?” Victor grunted. “I can never tell from your reactions.”

“You decide”, Oswald said, putting his telescope back in place and looking at Zsasz in ecstasy. “It’s The Executioner!”

“Oh fuck.”

“What do you mean ‘oh fuck’- No, keep rowing! It’s _Jim!_ ”

The facts finally seemed to click in Zsasz’s head because his face started looking less like he had eaten shit and more like he was in a daydream. He followed Oswald’s order and started rowing with all his might. As they inched closer, Oswald stood up in the boat and raised his hands to his mouth.

“JIM!” he screamed at full volume, which was the thing that definitely woke Edward up from any remaining specs of sleep he was having. Oswald swung his arms violently. “JIM! OVER HERE! I NEED YOUR HELP! JIM GORDON! J-I-M!”

“You’ll just attract sharks, Boss”, Victor said, but quickly shut up as he saw The Executioner start shifting course. Oswald laughed victoriously and flopped back into a sitting position, breathing heavily from his earlier efforts. He looked at Edward with a blissful smile.

“We’ll help you, Ed. It’s okay now”, he muttered and took Edward’s hand in his. Ed also smiled, very weakly but still, and nodded.

When Victor rowed the boat right on the side of the huge vessel, Oswald stood up again and stretched his neck to look up. There he was, standing on the railing, looking as confused as a man could look while still maintaining a poker face; Commander James Gordon. Victor managed to attach the boat onto the lines dropped to him and the crew of The Executioner began pulling them up from the ocean.

As soon as it was humanly possible, right as they reached the rail, Oswald already jumped out of the boat and grabbed Jim by the arm, pulling him as close as possible. “We need help!” he shouted, not giving a damn about the confused shipmen around them. Jim furrowed his brows and frenched his arm off.

“Slow down, Penguin”, he commanded and pulled out his pistol as a warning.

“I don’t have time to ‘ _slow down’_ , Jim! There’s an injured man onboard!” Oswald gestured wildly at Edward, still laying on the boat, now partly unconscious. Jim looked at him over Oswald’s shoulder, and his expression immediately shifted when he noticed the blade sticking out of Ed’s flesh. It was only a momentary shift, because he looked back at Oswald in suspicion.

“Your men can’t die. How do I know this isn’t just a trap?” he asked.

“Does it look like one?!” Oswald asked, both irritated and amused. “First things first, my men can _very much_ die now – do I look like a skeleton? And second-“, he raised his finger, but Jim interrupted him.

“Wait”, he said. “You... you broke the curse?” He took closer notice of the way Oswald was looking in the plain moonlight; definitely not a skeleton, like he had stated.

“Yes but that’s _besides the point_! The point is that the man bleeding out there ain’t any random pirate. It’s Edward Nashton, your boss’s SON!”

That finally made the situation register in Jim’s head, because he gave a second look to Edward and then immediately put away his weapon. “That’s Edward? He was reported missing a week ago.”

“Yes!” Oswald sounded incredibly impatient. “Is The Doc here? He needs help, he’ll die!”

“Right. She’s under the deck”, Jim nodded, tired of arguing. He gestured at three of his men to take Edward and escort him downstairs in an instant. Oswald’s pulse began slowing down as he watched Edward disappear under the deck.

“Follow me.” Oswald snapped out of his trance when he heard Jim speak again. Without a word he complied and limped after Jim, who was on his way to his personal cabin. Zsasz lingered behind, clearly not too excited about the idea of chatting with a supposed enemy. Jim entered his cabin and Oswald closed the door behind them.

“So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?” Jim said as soon as they were alone. Oswald averted his gaze from Jim’s piercing eyes and busied himself in taking a seat in front of the Commander’s table instead of talking. “I mean, you come here, in the middle of the night, with the governor’s son, in a rowboat?”

“What are you trying to ask, Jim?” Oswald finally looked at him again, bitter and anxious. “You gotta be a bit more specific, love.”

Jim furrowed his brows at the pet name, but chose to ignore it as he, too, took a seat – opposite of Oswald. “What I’m trying to ask is: did you actually break the curse of Isla de Muerta?”

“Yes! I thought we were over this already”, Oswald said and rolled his good eye with a sigh.

“And let me guess, something went wrong”, Jim said snarkily, leaning back in his chair.

“You could say that”, Oswald smile condescendingly and huffed. “Butch got a little stabby-happy and went to knife town with Ed.”

“Why did you have the governor’s son with you?”

“Uhh, I don’t know? Because I kidnapped him?” Oswald said and laughed at the question. “Why are you so intrusive? Stay in your lane, Jim.”

“That’s literally a crime you could get hanged for”, Jim said, raising his eyebrows a smidge. Oswald gritted his teeth, smile vanishing. Jim gave him a vain smirk. “But I suppose we can momentarily ignore that. What happened on the island?”

“Well, Jim, like I said. Butch stabbed Edward and then I cried on the coins and boom! Curse: gone. Who knew it was that easy?” Oswald explained animatedly. Jim opened his mouth, but Oswald raised a hand. “No more questions. I promise to tell you one day. Now, will Ed be okay?”

“I can’t promise anything, but we both know Lee is a good doctor”, Jim said, crossing his arms. “I’m sure he’ll live.” Oswald nodded silently. His facade had begun to crumple, and Jim had noticed it. He sighed shakily and buried his face in his hands.

“This is all my fuckin’ fault, Jim”, he murmured between his palms, shaking his head. “I _deserve_ to get hanged for this shit.”

“Did you lose the Pearl?” Jim had meant to shift Oswald’s attention elsewhere than his dying friend, but it only seemed to make the situation worse. Oswald raised his head and looked at him, hopeless, with tears in his eye.

“I lost everything”, he groaned quietly, lip quivering. “My ship, my crew, my immortality – I mean, I’m happy about that one but let’s count it in...”, he blabbered on.

“I’m sorry.” Jim looked genuinely apologetic.

“Karma, I guess”, Oswald spluttered and laughed weakly.

“You look like hell”, Jim changed the topic. Oswald laughed more.

“Why, thank you. You’re handsome as always.”

“I meant that in the way of ‘you’re going to get sick if you don’t go to bed right now’”, Jim said, a weak smile on his lips too. Oswald nodded tiredly. “We have some spare cabins. I’m sure you and Zsasz can fit into one.”

“Thanks”, Oswald muttered, still feeling out of character. “A nap sounds nice. Haven’t had one of those in five and a half years.” As he stood up and began to leave, something else entered his mind and he turned back around.

“Oh, side note”, he said and smirked, “Babs has been huntin’ you.”

“Great”, Jim said with a tired voice and rolled his eyes. “Can’t wait to cross paths.”

“Ain’t she peachy?” Oswald lingered at the doorway with a teasing smile. “Dunno what she needed you for but seemed urgent. Just thought you should know.”

-

Edward freaked out a little bit when he woke up the next day and couldn’t recognize his location. His last memory had been out at sea, the moonlight illuminating the knife stuck in his intestines, and the... shouting. Had they gotten attacked? Had someone saved them? He couldn’t really wrap his head around it. He touched around the bed he was placed on and tried to find his glasses, to no avail. He sighed and shifted around, wincing at the pain in his guts. He wasn’t dead, though, so that was a good sign. He noticed a blurry figure standing by the window in the cabin, staring out to the sea. Even though his vision wasn’t clear, Edward would have recognized the silhouette anywhere.

“Oswald...?” he murmured and caused the man to turn around.

“Oh! You’re awake.” Oswald sounded tired but relieved as he limped over to the bed and took a seat. “Thank God.” He placed Edward’s glasses on his nose and smiled at the sleepy expression on the brunette’s face.

“Where are we?” Edward asked, happy to feel Oswald’s touch linger on his cheek a little longer.

“Welcome to The Executioner”, Oswald said with a sarcastic flourish. “They saved us from the sea last night”, he explained after seeing Edward’s confused expression. “Though I guess you were kinda out of it by that point.”

“This is one of my father’s ships...”

“Sure is”, Oswald said and chuckled. “Jim Gordon’s, in fact. Remember him?”

“The man that the Sirens were after”, Edward said, and Oswald nodded. “Why did he help us?”

“Well, for starters, I had a dying man on board and Jim’s moral compass twitched magnificently at the thought of getting to escort the governor’s darling baby boy home. And also-“

“What?” Edward exclaimed, interrupting Oswald, and tried to sit up. The attempt was rather useless, because he just ended up crying out in pain and flopping back on the mattress. “I- I don’t want to go back home!”

“Why not?” Oswald asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “Ed, are you on drugs or somethin’?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Edward asked, frowning deeply. He took Oswald’s hand in his and squeezed it like a child that had woken up from a nightmare.

“It ain’t. Sorry, sweetheart”, Oswald said with a sad smile.

“If I go back home that means I’ll never see you again”, Edward said. Oswald raised his eyebrows. Edward sounded so genuinely upset it made his heart ache.

“Well, you will see me hangin’”, Oswald tried to joke around, but it only made the matters worse, because Edward’s eyes welled up in tears.

“That, too! Father will kill you first-handed as soon as he sees your face”, he sputtered with raising panic in his tone. “I don’t want to lose you, Oswald...”

Oswald’s smile faded too. “Ain’t nothin’ gonna keep us apart”, he said and stroked Edward’s cheek reassuringly. “Certainly not some goody two shoes governor.”

“But you don’t know my father! He’s a monster, he’ll hurt you when he gets the chance and I can’t even-“

“Shh”, Oswald shushed him and leaned over his face, staring deep into Edward’s brown puppy eyes. “It’ll be fine, Eddie. I promised, didn’t I?” He soothed Edward with more face touching before sheepishly leaning in and pressing a small kiss on the younger man’s lips. It silenced Edward and Oswald could physically feel Ed’s body relax.

“Atta boy”, he whispered with a smile when they broke apart. “The Doc specifically said you oughta stay calm and in bed in order to heal, okay?”

“Right”, Edward nodded a little and yawned. “I’m hungry, though.”

Oswald laughed. “I could eat something, too. Since I can now.” He stood up and was about to leave, but he lingered a little longer.

“We’ll be in Gotham in three days’ time”, he informed Edward quietly. Edward nodded again, but the frown was back. Three days was all they had left together? Better make them worth it, then.


	10. gotham

The following three days went by in a haze. It kind of felt like Edward was encased in baby pink clouds that could erupt into thunder at any moment. He spent most of his time in bed like Doctor Lee Thompkins had ordered him to, but it quickly became boring to just stare at a wall or read the same few books over and over again. Oswald tried to spend as much time with him as possible, but he was also busy scheming revenge and the opportunity to flee Gotham while Ed’s dad wasn’t looking. Zsasz, on the other hand, had busied himself with something completely different. Oswald told Ed he had caught Victor swooning over Lieutenant Carlos Alvarez, and it seemed like their friendly bald man was in love.

“I mean, I can’t blame ‘im”, Oswald said while stuffing a piece of steak into his mouth. “I wouldn’t mind getting boned after five years of involuntary celibate.”

Edward almost spilled his drink on his lap and fell into a coughing fit – one that definitely didn’t help his abdominal pain – upon hearing his words. “Stop talking”, he pleaded after getting his breathing back to normal, giggling idiotically with a blush on his face. Oswald grinned and pat Edward’s knee underneath the blanket.

“Guess we gotta wait for that a bit longer, huh, sweetheart?” he teased, taking a sip out of his flask. “You just _had_ to get stabbed right before I got horny.”

“My deepest apologies”, Edward said with a cunning smile, taking Oswald’s hand into his with a small stifled laughter. “I’m happy for Zsasz, though”, he continued, putting the conversation back on its original rail.

“Yeah, me too”, Oswald said and nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s always happy-go-lucky, but now he’s simply giddy. Love at first sight, eh?”

“Don’t think either of us can judge that.” Edward smiled and rubbed Oswald’s worn knuckles with his thumb. They shared a smile and continued eating in silence; steak and potatoes, nothing that special, but it felt like a godsent after not eating for a while. His stomach lining had not been too kind to him, and he’d barely eaten a thing since he got onboard. Now, at least, he felt satisfied with the amount of food that was shovelled inside him. Jim Gordon was quite the gracious host, making sure Edward was comfortable and warm and full and safe.

“So, you and Jim”, Edward opened the conversation again after putting his plate away, “what gives?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Oswald said, clearly avoiding the question with a smirk on his lips.

“I didn’t think any Commander would be so happy to help a criminal like yourself, that’s all”, Ed grinned. Oswald rolled his eye and laughed.

“We have history.”

“Yeah?” Edward pressed on. “Tell me about it.”

“Oh, where to start?” Oswald said and drank more rum. “A very long story short, our paths crossed soon after I’d killed Fish Mooney. He recognized me as the boy that had been saved by the governor and decided to spare my life once more.” He had a nostalgic smile on his lips. “We’ve been friends ever since. Grant each other favors, piss each other off, all that jazz.”

“That’s all?” Edward asked, raising an eyebrow. Oswald’s grin turned shark-like.

“We may have banged a few times before he married The Doc. And before the curse, of course.”

“I knew it”, Edward said with a triumphant smile. “See? I can read you. Like an open book.”

“Or you just guessed it right ‘cause any person alive, man or woman, would pay to have Jim inside them”, Oswald snapped back and made Edward blush crimson. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m just teasin’ you.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the cabin door opening. Doctor Thompkins, or The Doc, like everyone called her, stepped in with a tray filled with medical supplies. Oswald did no gesture to move himself from the bed, and instead tightened his grip of Edward’s hand a little.

“I appreciate the concern, but I have to do the daily check-up”, Lee said after seeing the gesture. Oswald scoffed under his breath but scooted a little aside so the woman could do her “checking-up” of Edward’s condition. She pulled their hands gently apart but didn’t say anything about it besides smirking to herself. She pushed the blanket away and examined Edward’s bandages.

“You’re healing fast”, she said with a reassuring voice. “You’re not bleeding through the bandages anymore. It seems, actually”, she cut open the old bandages and looked at the wound, “that the external bleeding has stopped completely. That’s a good sign.”

Edward’s stomach did not look pretty, but at the same time he was ecstatic for his first battle scar. Lee had stitched it up very carefully, but she had still warned it would leave a mark. It was the least of Ed’s worries – at least he got to live. “I’m not sure about the internal bleeding, but there is probably some left.”

“What’s the big deal?” Oswald tuned in and looked at Ed’s stomach. “That’s where the blood’s supposed to be.” Lee attempted to look professional and remain silent, but Edward saw her stifle a laugh. He giggled and rolled his eyes.

“Right, of course”, Ed said. “Thank you, Doctor Van Dahl.”

Lee grabbed a fresh bandage and propped Edward carefully into a proper sitting position instead of the slouching he’d been up to for the past hour, so she could wrap it around his torso. Her hands worked the bandage around him with great gentleness, and Edward could tell from Oswald’s expression that the man was slightly envious of The Doc. Lee finished wrapping the gauze and tied it in place.

“Here’s the painkillers”, Lee said as she grabbed a familiar bottle of pills. “Have they been helping?”

“Yes”, Edward nodded and took a pill. He swallowed it dry – just something he’d gotten used to, although there was water as an option too. “I no longer feel like my intestines are going to fall out, thanks to you, Doc.”

“Well that seems like a good sign”, Lee laughed and ruffled the younger man’s hair before standing up. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

Miraculously, Lee had given Edward the permission to step outside the cabin if he felt like he was up for the task. She had even produced a wheelchair – well, not exactly a wheelchair but a chair with wheels underneath anyway – and it felt like a dream to see the outside world after days of staying inside. The sun had begun slowly setting and it made everything turn into a pretty orange color. Oswald leaned into the rail and breathed in the sea air with a somber smile.

“Nice, innit?” he asked, but Edward didn’t respond, because it felt more like a rhetorical question. He just smiled and leaned back on his chair. Oswald glanced at him, still with the same melancholic expression. “Everything okay, love?”

“Yes”, Edward said and reached to grab Oswald’s hand. “Are you, though?”

“I... don’t know, to be completely honest”, Oswald admitted and gave his hand a squeeze. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “I mean, I don’t know how to feel. On one hand, I reversed the curse and you’re alive and, shit, you like me back”, he grinned for a second, but it faded fast, “but then again, things will go downhill as soon as we get to Gotham. Don’t think your daddy will want a son-in-law outta me.” He chuckled dryly.

“I’ll do everything in my power to convince my father”, Edward said. He wasn’t sure what he meant by convincing; was it ‘hey dad, can I marry this pirate?’ or ‘hey dad, please don’t murder this pirate’?

“Don’t think it’ll be that easy”, Oswald said after noticing his puzzled expression. “The governor’s a bitch. With all due respect.”

“He really is”, Edward agreed immediately and frowned. “I hate him.”

“One more thing for us to agree on, then”, Oswald smiled sadly and brought his hand up to ruffle Edward’s messy curls. “You should get a haircut, darling.”

“You _really_ like pet names, huh?” Edward asked and grabbed Oswald’s wrist, holding his hand up to his face with a sheepish smile. Oswald stepped closer and leaned down to face Edward’s eyes properly.

“Well now I’m allowed to use them, so why the fuck would I hold back?” Oswald asked, stroking Edward’s soft cheek. “Honey”, he added with a smirk.

“I don’t mind”, Edward said blissfully. “It’s really sweet. Thank you.”

“Well shit”, Oswald laughed, “you sounded so damn sincere. I could cry.”

“Go for it. You might break another curse”, Edward pulled Oswald closer to him and nuzzled his cheek with a cheeky grin. Oswald made a tiny offended sound, but Ed knew he was smiling as they pressed their lips softly together. It was a little risky to do such a thing on the deck where anybody could see them, but at that point neither of them cared. Oswald’s hand slid back into Ed’s hair, tugging ever so lightly on the overgrown locks. Edward suppressed the urge to moan into the kiss. This was not the time or place to get hot for a pirate.

When they broke apart, Oswald looked positively dazed. “Still can’t wrap my head around this whole _feeling stuff_ -thing”, he breathed heavily and grinned with a sense of bliss. Edward laughed quietly and pressed his lips on the other’s just for one moment longer.

“I didn’t think my first kiss would be when I’m bleeding out in a cave of stolen treasures, with the King of pirates, but the world does work in mysterious ways”, he said, nuzzling against Oswald’s hand. It was the Captain’s time to laugh.

“That it does, dear Edward”, he nodded, but his eyes widened all of sudden. “Wait. That was your first kiss?” He looked embarrassed all of sudden.

“Yes. Why?” Edward asked and tilted his head a little which made him look even more like a puppy.

“I just... Never mind”, Oswald shook his head to both make a point and clear his mind, before smiling sweetly. “I hope it was a good one, then.”

“I appreciate that your lips had grown back at that point”, Edward said with a malicious spark in his eyes. “I don’t want to kiss a skull.”

“Fair enough.” Oswald exposed all his silver and gold teeth with the widest of grins. His gaze averted to the other side of the deck and he let out an incoherent sound that barely sounded human. “Would you look at that...?”

Edward turned around to see what Oswald was looking at. It turned out to be Zsasz, standing on the other side of the main deck with another man – Ed guessed this was the infamous Lieutenant Alvarez. He grinned as he looked at the bald man’s attempts at flirting with the other. Oswald had subconsciously taken a seat on Edward’s lap as they observed the interaction from afar. Well, Oswald observed them. Ed was too busy not dying of cardiac arrest when he realized Oswald was, indeed, on top of him.

“ _Land on the horizon! Port Gotham! Port Gotham, straight ahead!”_

The shout startled both of them so badly that Oswald immediately jumped off Edward and looked around like he was about to get attacked. Though, as it turned out, the shout had emitted from the main mast and they both came to realize what it meant at the same time. Oswald left Edward alone after a quick arm squeeze and limped – he had long lost his walking stick – up to where Jim was standing at the bow of The Executioner, looking dead ahead with a blank expression on his face. The blonde man turned around when he heard the uneven clattering of Oswald’s peg leg.

“It really is Gotham”, Oswald muttered, staring at the approaching port. “Feels like a lifetime since I was here.”

“Yes, even though you were here last week. You know, kidnapping Edward Nashton”, Jim snarled and made Oswald huff angrily. “You two seem rather... close.”

“If you care about your tongue, you shut your mouth right now”, Oswald warned, and Jim raised an arm in surrender.

“None of my business.”

Zsasz had finally abandoned the distressed Alvarez and came to stand next to Oswald. They sailed past a small island that welcomed ships to Gotham – well, welcoming was perhaps too nice of a word. Four skeletons hung from nooses in a gibbet, with a sign saying, ‘ _PIRATES BEWARE’_. Zsasz smiled brightly upon the sign and waved at his former colleagues.

“Man, you gotta love Gotham”, he said with the huge smile still plastered on his face. “Holy balls; is that One-Eye right there?” he went on, pointing at one of the decaying corpses.

“He was hanged last year”, Jim commented bluntly, and Zsasz gasped in excitement.

“That is _so_ dope. Will I get there when they hang us?”

“No one will hang anyone”, Oswald interrupted and spat over the rail into the water. Jim raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment.

“We’ll be in Port in just a moment. Let me handle it”, he instead said firmly. “I have an excellent negotiator.”

“Riiiiight, right”, Oswald said sarcastically smiling. “Of course. I will hand my life over to your hands, Jim darling.”

“Good”, Jim said, ignoring the blatant sarcasm and turning around. He had a job to get done and he had to take care of that instead of chit-chatting with a bunch of pirates. Oswald returned to stand by Edward’s side after noticing how lost the other looked all alone on the busied deck.

“Home sweet home, eh?” he said as he reached over the rail to look onward where Gotham was rapidly approaching. Edward said nothing, just frowned again and sighed. “How do I look?” Oswald asked, trying to sound carefree as he flourished in front of Ed. It helped a little bit, because the brunette did manage to smile.

“Perfect as always”, he said. It was Oswald’s turn to blush. How on Earth did everything Edward say sound so incredibly sincere and kind? It was a talent Oswald certainly lacked himself. “What about me?”

“Considering your near-death-experience I’d say pretty dapper”, Oswald said, brushing a strand of hair behind Edward’s ear as he spoke. “Isn’t that Jim’s shirt you’re wearing?”

“Maybe?” Edward looked at himself. The sleeves of the shirt were a bit short, but it was baggy around his torso. The Commander did not share a similar build to Ed’s lanky body. “I didn’t know you were so sharp-eyed.”

“I’d recognize a garment like that anywhere.” Oswald grinned a little. “May have ripped it off of him a time or two.”

“Poor shirt”, Edward said and laughed softly. It made Oswald happy to see the younger man feel better. The last few days had been filled with mood swings for both of them. They didn’t share a bed and Oswald’s rest had been continuously interrupted by Zsasz speaking in his sleep. He wanted nothing more than to sleep next to Edward as soon as possible. If it ever would be possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i saw a chance for a brooklyn 99 reference and i took it  
> in the immortal words of jake peralta; "the doctor said all my bleeding is internal. that's where the blood is supposed to be!"


	11. a family affair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two more chapters left after this! i can't believe i'm actually finishing this fic in a few days ;_; thank you for everyone who's been reading!!!

The Executioner landed on Port Gotham and as soon as Oswald saw the bridge touch the pier, his stomach flipped around dangerously. Jim was right, he had been to Gotham only a week prior, but it really did feel like a hundred years. He hadn’t stepped on land the last time he visited, though, so maybe it was the thought of actually walking on the worn pavement and hear the people talk that made him so nervous.

Jim was the first to exit the ship, marching on the docks as confidently as one could. Oswald stayed back with Edward, who didn’t look excited to face his flesh and blood at that moment. Oswald peered through the crowd and saw Jim talking with governor Nashton. The man’s face was made of steel and for a moment he looked like his facial muscles were out of order; that is, before he apparently heard the news and his face turned into a shocked one. He immediately started marching towards The Executioner, and Ed clutched on Oswald’s arm, slightly trembling.

“Oh dear oh dear oh dear”, he muttered under his breath as he saw his father walk up the bridge and inspect the deck in order to find his son. “He’s going to kill me . He is going to kill me. Oh no. He’s walking here. Fuck.”

“Edward!” George Nashton yelled as soon as he saw the two men near the staircase of the poop deck.  Edward instinctively rolled backwards on his wheeled chair and winced when his father’s aura entered their space. The governor was about to go on a tangent, but he noticed Oswald holding Ed’s hand before he could start. He stared at their intertwined fingers for a second before looking up at Oswald’s face.

“You”, he said in disbelief. Oswald grinned dangerously.

“Me”, he nodded. “Hi, George. Been a while, innit?”

The older man stepped forward and ripped Oswald apart from Edward, pushing him back and immediately drawing a gun from his pocket. Oswald reacted on instinct and also grabbed his gun. The men stared at one another unblinkingly, weapons facing each other. “Give me one good reason why I should not blast your brains on the floor right now.”

“Me being immortal?” Oswald suggested with a cheeky smile. George also smiled, which did not suit his serious face one bit. More than anything, it made him more threatening.

“Oh no, you’re not. Commander Gordon told me that the curse has been lifted.” Oswald’s smile faded and he gritted his teeth, squeezing the gun tighter in his hand.

“Father”, Edward interrupted and rolled himself in-between the two guns, promptly blocking his father’s access to Oswald’s intestines. “Stop.”

“You, young man, stay out of this!” George exclaimed and shook his gun for emphasis. “You’re delirious and injured. You have no say in this matter.”

“I’m not a _child_!” Ed snapped and snatched the gun from his father’s grip before the man could resist. He tossed it to Oswald’s feet and glared at his father. He followed it by a move that surprised both of the men surrounding him; with great struggle he managed to push himself out of the chair and stand up in front of his father.

“Ed-“, Oswald tried to say, but Edward wasn’t listening.

“I will _not_ let you hurt Oswald”, he growled at his father. The usual spark in his eyes had disappeared and he looked ready to kill.

“Like I said”, his father stepped right in front of him and grabbed Edward by the shirt. “You, boy, have no say in this. Now step out of my way or I will make you.”

Edward’s eyes threw around lightning strikes, but he managed a cheeky grin on his face anyway. “Then make me, father”, he murmured, pulling the small knife Oswald had given him out of his belt. George stared at it for a moment in disbelief before putting his hand on the handle of his sword.

“You’ve gone mad, son”, he said quietly, glancing at Oswald behind Ed. “Whatever that bastard has done to you-“

He didn’t manage to finish, because Edward coughed all of sudden and loosened his grip of the knife enough for it to fall to the deck. He gripped his stomach, a pain-filled expression washing through his face. George furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed Edward by the shoulder in an attempt to steady him, but it was useless, because at the next moment the younger man was already on the ground on his knees.

“Edward!” Oswald yelled, dropped his gun and plunged forward, pushing the governor out of the way so he could have a better look at the man. “Ed, is it the wound? What’s wrong?!”

“Feel... sick. Dizzy”, Edward muttered, wavering dangerously close to falling. Oswald was going to say something, but he was interrupted by a strong pair of arms grabbing him from behind. George Nashton practically threw the pirate captain away from Edward, and Oswald landed on the arms of a guard who had followed his boss to the deck.

“Guards! Take that man- no, _monster,_ and put him in the dungeons!” the governor ordered, gesturing at the flabbergasted Oswald. “Penguin, you’re under arrest!”

“On what charges?” Oswald spat as the struggled in the hands of two guards.

“Piracy, kidnapping, thievery, manslaughter, the list goes on!” George rumbled, getting louder by the second. “Take him!”

“Edward! Ed- fuck!” Oswald wrestled in the guards’ grip but to no avail. He could do nothing but watch in agony as Edward’s head lolled and he fell to the deck with a thump. The guards dragged Oswald, still shouting obscenities, out of The Executioner and past a crowd of people that had arrived at the docklands. In the middle of his tantrum he spotted Jim in the throng.

“Jim, you cocksucker! Fuckin’ liar! You said you’d help me!” he screamed, attracting Gordon’s attention. “So much for negotiation! If I die, my blood will be on _your_ hands, motherfucker!”

His screaming was interrupted by one of the guards hitting him across the head with a baton, dubbing him unconscious.

\---

Everything was quiet and comfortable when Edward opened his eyes. Despite not knowing where he was, he felt oddly calm – almost like he was still in a state of dreaming. He tried to wrap his head around all the events that had lead up to this moment. The last memory he had was seeing his father and standing up from the chair, shouting at him, and then the piercing pain that had gone through his abdomen. Perhaps standing up hadn’t been the smartest move, but hell, he’d had to intimidate his father somehow! And then he had fallen and Oswald... Oswald had been taken away.

“Oswald!” Suddenly it hit him, and he plunged into a sitting position, immediately shouting in pain and flopping back on the comfortable cushions.

“Oh my goodness, you’re going to give me a heart attack one day!” came a voice right next to him. He turned his blurry gaze – once again, no glasses – towards the sound and realized he wasn’t alone in the room. He recognized the smooth, blonde hair and the pale skin.

“Isabella?” he murmured, trying to locate his glasses from the mattress around him.

“Yes, it’s me”, the woman said and handed his glasses to him. Edward didn’t think he’d ever be glad to see Miss Isabella Kringle, but now that he did, his heart was going to burst. She didn’t look nearly as fancy as she usually did. She was paler than normal and had dark circles around his eyes, not covered in makeup like usual. Her hair was open and flowing around his shoulders and back, and she looked incredibly tired.

“What are you doing here?” Edward asked and propped himself into a sitting position much more carefully than before. “And where is... here?” he followed, looking around the room.

“It’s your room”, she said with a small smile and took Edward’s hand in hers. “I wanted to keep an eye on you.”

“How long have you been sitting there?”

“I don’t know, maybe eight hours?” She looked at the clock on Edward’s bedside table. “It’s six in the morning and I came here around ten last night. So, yeah.”

“Go to sleep!” Edward exclaimed, eyes widening. Isabella laughed and shook her head.

“Not a chance, pirate”, she said teasingly and pinched Edward’s cheek. Her smile faded fast, though. “I was so worried about you when I heard the news. I thought you were dead, Ed.”

Edward sighed and brushed a hand through his hair. It was smoother than before – maybe someone had brushed it while he was unconscious... “Not dead. Just kidnapped and stabbed”, he said, subconsciously touching his stomach. “Hey, that rhymed.”

“Tell me everything that happened”, Isabella said and scooted a little closer to Edward on the bed. Edward looked at him suspiciously.

“...My father didn’t send you, did he?” he couldn’t help but ask. Isabella rolled her eyes and laughed joylessly.

“He doesn’t even know I’m here”, she said. “Would probably throw me out if he did. And I promise I won’t tell anybody what I heard, okay? I just don’t think you should bottle it all up.”

“Okay, fair enough”, Edward nodded and took a sip of a water glass he’d spotted on the bedside table next to the clock. He sighed and started his story. Isabella was a good listened and didn’t interrupt him unless he took a break to recharge his energy. He told everything from the way he’d hidden in the wardrobe to how he met Captain Penguin and discovered their gruesome secret. He didn’t spare Isabella from the details of how well the Captain had treated him from that point onward and how he had actually felt happy on the Pearl, just for a moment.

“So Captain Penguin is Oswald Van Dahl?” Isabella asked when Edward took another break. Edward nodded and laughed a little. “The little boy you saved from the sea eight years ago?”

“Yep”, Ed said and shrugged. “The world is a small place, I suppose.”

“Unbelievable”, Isabella shook her head.

“Is that the only part that you don’t believe?” Edward grinned. “Not the whole skeleton ghost story and the undead crew?” They shared a laughter. Edward realized how he’d actually missed the woman, despite them never being too close. She felt like a sister he never had.

Edward continued his story, describing Isla de Muerta to the smallest detail. Isabella seemed intrigued by the huge amounts of treasure and the chilling caves they had ventured through to finally arrive at the desired chest. Edward felt her grip of his hand tighten a bit when he told how Zsasz had pricked him with the knife and how the curse hadn’t broken. How the pirated had gotten mad at Oswald and taken it out on Edward instead, leaving him to bleed out with the cursed knife on his stomach.

“But then the weirdest thing happened”, Edward said, sounding excited. “You see, Oswald had no blood and mine didn’t work, but the curse _still_ broke! I realized it was his tears on the coins. Oh, and we also kissed at some point in there.”

“You did WHAT?!” Isabella shrieked, scaring Edward with the sudden loud sound. Isabella noticed the startled look on his face, because she tried to calm down asap. “You did _what_?” she whispered, repeating the question anyway.

“K-kissed”, Edward uttered, only now realizing it might not have been the best strategy to just blurt out information like that. “He kissed me and said he loved me.”

“You knew each other for a week”, Isabella said, laughing weakly. Edward smirked.

“Technically eight years.”

“How’d it feel like?” Isabella asked eagerly. “Like, was he still all skeleton-like?”

“No, thank heavens for that”, Edward giggled. “It felt... nice. I liked it.”

“Don’t tell me you love him back”, Isabella said and raised her eyebrows. Still, she had the knowing smile on her face that Edward loved and hated at the same time.

“I might have said so in the heat of the moment”, Edward said, voice trailing off. He averted his gaze, blushing, when Isabella burst into proper laughter. “Hey! I had a knife in my stomach. Don’t judge me?”

“I’m not!” Isabella giggled and ruffled Ed’s hair like a mother. “You’ve got a _serious_ case of Stockholm Syndrome, Ed.”

“Shush”, Edward tried to silence the other, but it was about as useless as trying to extinguish fire with gasoline. “I just- I like him, okay! He’s nice! He cares about me and he’s funny! And pretty.”

“Uh-huh?” Isabella said, grinning cheekily. “You’re into the whole eyepatch and peg leg look?”

“He’s handsome. Shut up”, Edward crossed his arms and pouted dramatically, hairs falling over his face again. “Anyway – where _is_ Oswald?” he asked as he realized he still had no clue what had happened within those hours of unconsciousness.

Isabella’s face got more serious and she squeezed Edward’s hand. “He’s in the dungeons. They, um... The governor wants to wait until you get better for the hanging.”

“The hanging?!” Edward jolted forward and flinched in pain again. “So it’s already settled?”

“I’m sorry, Edward”, Isabella said and truly sounded apologetic. “Your father wouldn’t budge. Said that anyone standing up for him would be charged for treason and piracy and sentenced to death by hanging.”

“No...”, Ed muttered, flopping on the bed and burying his face into a pillow. “I can’t... I can’t let that happen.”

“What can we do? I’m sorry, but I won’t die for your pirate boyfriend”, she said.

Edward looked at her, throwing the pillow angrily to the floor. “I won’t let it happen! Not a chance.” He furrowed his brows but turned sheepish when he saw how serious the woman looked. “Izzy, please. Help me...”

The nickname softened her facial expression a smidge. “How?”

“Would you deliver a letter to him if I wrote one?” Ed asked hopefully, already looking around for a piece of parchment paper or a quill. Isabella sighed and took both of his hands in hers, calming him down in an instant.

“Okay”, she said, and continued before Edward could say a word, “but if something goes wrong, we’re all dead. Got it?”

“Got it”, Edward said and nodded as a confirmation. Isabella looked at him for a moment before taking his face in her hands and pressing a gently kiss on his forehead.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

“Never.”


	12. the pirate that should not be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter turned out quite long and VERY messy - my apologies for the time jumps and possible incoherent rambling :D i was just too excited to get this chapter out of the way of the FINALE!!!!!

Oswald had met his fair share of prisons during his life, but Port Gotham’s dungeons were certainly the bottom of the barrel. No bed, no fire, one crappy meal and glass of dirty water a day. The whining and pleading from the other prisoners getting encased in his brain. It had barely been three days since he arrived there, and he was already positively losing his mind. Hell, this was worse than the unescapable hanging that awaited him at some point. Speaking of unescapable, if there was one thing actually well done in the prison it was the walls themselves. The bars wouldn’t give in to any amount of kicking and pulling, and usually the clattering only alerted an underpaid guard to hit the prisoner across the head with a bigwig.

“I wonder how long they’re plannin’ to keep us here”, Zsasz’s sing-songy voice from the cell next to him. The bald man was lazily chewing on a piece of raw meat.

“Where the hell did you get that?” Oswald asked when he saw what the man was holding. Zsasz gestured at the cell on his other side.

“Some dude. A good dude.” He licked his bloodied lips before taking another bite.

“You’re disgusting”, Oswald groaned and slumped further into the corner of the prison cell. He truly didn’t understand how Victor could hold onto the cheery personality, but perhaps it simply was his default setting. Oswald felt kind of envious of that. He wasn’t as happy about their momentary location as Zsasz was. He had chewed out his fingernails and all the remaining black paint of them, had barely slept and the only thing that could flicker in his head was Edward. Was he okay? Was he safe? Was he healthy? God, he could’ve killed a man to see the man.

“I dunno, boss, I could get used to this”, Zsasz threw the rest of the meat on the floor and sat cross-legged as close to the bars separating their cells as possible. “I mean, zero points to the governor for the interior decor, but it’s kinda homely. Reminds me of the Pearl.”

“ _Don’t_ mention the Pearl”, Oswald murmured, crossing his arms with a frown. He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed his vessel more than was probably healthy. If he had a wish list, the Black Pearl would have been at second place. After Ed, of course.

His sulking was interrupted by a voice talking. It got Oswald’s attention because it was so starkly different from the groans of the gross prisoners; it was a young woman’s voice, and she certainly didn’t sound dehydrated or underfed like the rest of the people in the dungeons. Oswald sharpened his ears and listened to her talk to someone, presumably a guard.

“Let me make this easier for you”, the female voice spoke, and then he heard... a wince.

“O-okay! He, uhh, he’s over there. I won’t tell anyone, Miss.” The guard sounded like he was in distress, but Oswald never figured out what was actually happening. He shrugged it off and looked at Zsasz with a bored expression. Maybe a family member keen on visiting her wrongfully captured lover. He didn’t care a whole lot. He closed his eyes and sighed. Maybe he could get some sleep for a change...

“Oswald Van Dahl?”

His eyes fluttered open again when he heard the familiar female voice call his name. He turned his head to the side and looked at the girl standing in front of his cell. The woman was as far from any lady that had ever talked to Oswald as possible – the contrast between the woman’s pristine white dress and beautifully braided blonde hair, and the dirty wall behind her was actually quite humorous.

“You’re Oswald, aren’t you?” the woman asked again and took a step closer to the cell. She looked uncomfortable to be there.

“Depends on who’s askin’”, Oswald said lazily and gave her a weak grin.

“Would you say ‘ _yes’_ if it was Edward Nashton?” she asked and immediately hit the nerve she’d been looking for. Oswald scrambled up from the ground and plunged to the bars, grabbing them so fast that it startled the blonde.

“Edward’s okay?” Oswald asked under his breath, voice turning into merely a low growl of pure emotion.

“Somewhat, yes”, she said with a short nod. “He asked me to come to see you.”

“Why didn’t he come himself?” Oswald couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed upon hearing the woman’s words. Was Ed mad at him for some reason? Was he in danger? What did ‘ _somewhat’_ mean? “And how did you get past the guards?”

“One can get many things with the right tactics”, the woman grinned and gave a quick wink. “You just have to push the right buttons.”

“So you seduced him”, Oswald said with a lazy smirk. “Not bad.”

“Edward is currently under heavy surveillance, which is why he couldn’t sneak out of the mansion and come”, the blonde got back on track with an answer to Oswald’s first question. “I’m Isabella, his... friend.” Oswald noticed the pause before the last word.

“Friend, huh?” he asked and tilted his head.

Isabella rolled her eyes. “We’re expected to get married, but I don’t think that’s happening anytime soon, now, is it? He’s rather preoccupied by a certain pirate captain as of now.”

“Wait- he told you?” Oswald’s eyes widened a little. Edward must really trust this Isabella woman to tell her such a huge secret. Isabella nodded with a smile.

“You two haven’t exactly been very secretive about it”, she said before straightening her back and pulling something out from behind her back. “He asked me to give you this.”

It was a neatly rolled and sealed piece of paper. Oswald stuck his hand through the bars and snatched it from Isabella like the scroll had the answer for curing cancer. He hurriedly ripped the seal off and rolled the scroll open, noticing Edward’s messy handwriting right away. The letter looked like it had been written in a rush, ink splotches around the paper and the handwriting even more messy that Ed’s usually was. Oswald’s heart fluttered as he began reading the letter.

 _Dear Oswald,_ the letter opened with.

_I was going to write ‘I hope you’ve been well’, but I realized you’re in a prison right now so let’s skip the formalities, shall we? I miss you. It breaks my heart that I can’t be there with you – really, I’d rather rot in jail with you than die of boredom and worry alone in the mansion. This is so cheesy, isn’t it? I’m sorry, please don’t puke on the letter._

_You probably have a lot of questions right now and I assure you I feel the same way. I wanted to send you this letter just in case something goes horribly wrong and our paths will never cross again. What I’m trying to say is – that the week we spent together was the best in my life. I’ve never felt so excited, loved and free all at once. Crazy, isn’t it? All it took was for me to get kidnapped and almost murdered. Fun times._

_Anyway. Not that it’s a secret anymore, but I love you, Oswald. I won’t give up on you as easily as my father wants or thinks I will. I’ll fight for you even if it takes my life. I hope you know, Oswald, that I would do anything for you._

_And that’s why I’ve come up with a plan. I’m hoping to put this plan to action as soon as possible, but it’s going to take a little while since I’m still a convalescent and it’s a miracle if I get to spend an hour alone. Isabella will help me (she’s the one that got you the letter – at least I hope she did... The pretty blonde girl). She is the only one as of now who knows our secret to every detail. She is trustworthy and won’t tell a soul, you can trust her._

_I plan on breaking you out of the dungeons with her help. I’m currently bedridden, but my brain is working like usual so the plan should be execute-ready in about a week or so. I just have to pretend to be in a terrible condition, so father postpones the hanging more. Apparently he wants_ me _to pull the lever – how fucking disgusting is that????? I’ve already decided that I’m coming with you ~~if~~ when we set you free. Don’t try to change my mind. I’m. Coming. With. You._

_Anyway. Expect for another letter very soon, and maybe I’ll manage to sneak out and see you at some point, too._

_I hope this letter reaches you without trouble, but if for some unknown reason this isn’t Oswald reading; Fuck you, father, and rot in hell._

_Can’t wait to see you and sail the seven seas together._

_Love, Ed_

Oswald stared at the letter for what felt like an eternity. He hadn’t even noticed himself tearing up before a tear already fell on the paper and smudged the ink a little bit. He looked up to Isabella, who was glancing near the end of the hallway, making sure the guard wasn’t coming back anytime soon. Their green eyes met, and Isabella smiled a little.

“Take this”, she prompted and opened her small purse. She pulled out a small bottle of ink from the inside, as well as a piece of paper. “It’s not much, but I’m sure he’d be happy if you... wrote back.”

Oswald swallowed his tears and nodded, taking the writing supplies from Isabella with a whispered thank you. Isabella squeezed his hand very quickly before realizing Oswald wasn’t Edward and stepped backwards. “I’ll come by tomorrow and grab the letter, okay?”

“Deal”, Oswald said with a rough voice and quickly dried his face on his sleeve. Isabella nodded as a confirmation and turned away. She gave one more look to Oswald who was still looking at Ed’s letter in disbelief, and then she walked away as if she’d never interacted with him in the first place.

\---

Edward groaned when he heard the door open. It was probably the twentieth time his reading had been interrupted that evening, and he really wasn’t in the mood for any more chit-chatting with the nurses and doctor that kept on checking up on him every other moment. His irritated expression quickly vanished when he saw Isabella enter the room, holding a piece of paper. Edward waved a little before putting his book away. Isabella sat on the bed and smiled sneakily.

“What do you have there?” Edward asked, observing the folded paper she was fidgeting with.

“A little surprise for you”, she said and handed him the parchment. Edward raised his eyebrows and unfolded the paper. It turned out to be a letter. His stomach did a flip when he recognized the extremely cursive handwriting. He remembered a moment when he’d watched Oswald write something down back on the Pearl and he’d been surprised that a pirate had such a delicate handwriting when his looked like chicken scratch in comparison.

_hey, Ed_

_sorry for not bein as eloquent as you with the whole writin thing but the thought counts right? thank Isabella for this. your letter made me cry. like actually CRY Ed. I dont care if youre cheesy or whatever. it was sweet as fuck and let me tell you I havent felt that happy in... ever? so lemme be cheesy back sweetheart. I love you too. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you._

_yeah so about this plan of yours. its an awful one. I love it. but im also REALLY worried Ed. what if it goes wrong? what if governor Fuckface catches us? I refuse to spend the rest of my life knowin I caused your death okay. so dont do anything unless youre 100% SURE. OKAY??????_

_I cant stop you from comin with me but I hope you know you cant turn back from the pirate life. honestly it makes me really happy that someone would volunteer to spend the rest of their life like that. youre a weirdo but youre my weirdo and I kinda love it. so yeah. lets sail the seven seas together sweetheart._

_xxxxxx – Oz_

The letter was much shorter than Edward’s, but it almost made Ed’s teeth ache from the sweetness. He looked at it with a huge smile on his face before pressing the paper against his heart and squeezing it. In some idiotic way he hoped that Oswald would get the feeling of being hugged from the gesture, though obviously it was impossible. He didn’t let go of the letter until Isabella giggled.

“You two are so bittersweet”, she said and caressed Edward’s cheek softly. “I don’t know what he wrote but I caught a glimpse of a lot of ‘ _I love you_ ’.” Edward laughed powerlessly and nodded. What could he even say in return? Oswald loved him back and was on board with his plan. Everything was perfect – at least as perfect as they could be considering one of them was still healing from getting stabbed and the other was rotting in jail.

“Anyway, about this plan of yours”, Isabella broke the soft moment and forced Edward to look at her. Ed’s smile faded a little, but he couldn’t help still grinning like an idiot. He carefully placed Oswald’s letter inside his drawer – the Hell would go loose if his father saw it – and took Isabella’s hand in his.

“I have everything under control”, he reassured. “All I need is a little more time, which should not be an issue. I need the guards’ schedule and rotation, as well as my father’s timetable. Oh, and a list of the ships present in the docks on the 20th of April.”

“How am I supposed to obtain all of that?” Isabella asked with a doubtful expression. “I’m not a thief, Edward.”

“Yes, but you can use your _charm_ ”, Ed insisted, still smirking. “I mean, surely someone would blurt out something if you, you know...”

“Ed I’m not going to whore myself out for this plan”, Isabella said firmly, and Ed flushed red.

“That’s not what I meant! Just like, flutter your eyelashes and say, ‘ _pretty please’_!”

Isabella let out a long, deep sigh and shook her head a little. She had a very small smile on her lips, though, and Ed took notice of it. “Remind me again why I’m doing this?”

“Because you love me”, Edward said smugly and opened his arms for a hug. Isabella laughed and leaned in, hugging the brunette gently.

“Yeah. I really do, huh?” she muttered, running a hand through Ed’s curls. “My little pirate.”

They pulled apart and looked at one another in the eyes for a long time. Then, finally, Isabella spoke up. “We have a lot to do”, she said, a determined look on his face. Edward grinned a little.

“Yes, we do. Shall we get to work?”

Edward had truly underestimated the level of difficulty his plan would provide. It was almost like his father was suspecting him to do something, because the following morning he had arrived in Edward’s bedroom to announce that he would be cancelling his trip to Metropolis on the 20th – this meant that he would be home on the day Ed had already chosen for their plan. George Nashton also kept constantly pestering his son about getting better, asking questions like “do you think you could stay out of bed for a day?” and “aren’t you excited to be healing?” Edward knew it was simply because as soon as he showed signs of getting healthier, the hanging ceremony would be put into action.

With Edward still stuck in his room, constantly being interrupted by handmaidens and his father, Isabella was left on her own with all the physical aspects of making sure their plan would work out. She would tell everyone she was busy running errands and meeting possible bachelors for a wedding – both blatant lies, of course – and so far no one had actually begun suspecting her on being a part of any malicious plan. Edward was truly thankful for having a friend like her, and he had no idea how he could pay back all the things Isabella was currently doing for him. The lies, the facade, the dungeon visits (Ed and Oswald wanted to exchange letter on a daily basis at this point and it was getting incresingly more difficult to slip the letter past the guards)...

It was a miracle that on the night of the 20th Isabella came inside the bedroom and announced that everything was prepared and ready to go. Edward could barely believe his ears when she told him how she had managed to bribe some guards as well as a sailor or two into staying quiet about their plan to escape.

“This is it, huh?” Edward said, voice resembling some level of hidden terror. Up until this point, he’d been so busy with the planning of everything that he hadn’t actually stopped to think about the possibility of the plan failing. Then again, he was confident in his own brain. He had taken every possibility into account during the planning phase. All they had to do was _execute_ it.

“Indeed”, Isabella huffed, nervously tapping her hand against her hip. “Are you sure about this?”

“Positive”, Edward muttered. That had to be good enough. “My father will be in the dining hall right about now. He has some meeting, lucky us. He shouldn’t be out for another hour.”

“The guards I bribed are on watch tonight”, Isabella continued and made Edward smile. “I still think we should have some kind of weaponry at hand.”

“Say no more.” Ed reached into his drawer and pulled out a pair of knives. “These should come in handy. One for both of us.”

“Great”, Isabella said but didn’t sound too thrilled about the thought of carrying a knife around. Still, she took it and put it into her pocket. She was wearing a pair of riding pants and a slim-fitted jacket instead of a dress, and Edward thanked her for that decision in his mind.

“Okay. The safest bet is to climb out of the window”, Ed said as he stood up and tightened his ponytail. “That way we don’t have to sneak past any guards on the inside of the house.”

“Right. Out the third floor window”, Isabella cringed. “What could go wrong?”

“I guess you could take the stairs. After all, I’m the one who’s not allowed to be out just yet”, Edward shrugged with a slight grin. He saw the unconvinced expression on Isabella’s face and took her by the hand. “I’ve snuck out a million times.”

“And how many times did you fall?”

“Only two!” Ed declared with a smirk. “I promise to be careful.” They shared a look before Isabella complied with a sigh and a nod.

“Be careful, pirate.”

They parted ways with her leaving the room and Edward hopping on the windowsill. It was true that he had snuck out multiple times out of this particular window. His father was very heavy-handed when it came to handing out groundings and while Edward had never been a troublemaker, sometimes he had climbed out the window simply for the purpose of going to a library.

While his stomach was still in some pain, Edward managed to climb all the way from the third floor to the ground without plummeting to his death. He jumped off the ladder into the bushes and looked around to locate any possible guards or Isabella. The latter was already waiting for him on the gates of the mansion. Ed sprinted across the yard and successfully stayed unseen by anyone. He crouched a little and began tinkering with the lock of the gates; his father had taken his keys away for this exact purpose, and luckily he was used to picking locks.

It felt so freeing to get outside of the mansion gates, almost like the air was different on the outside. The moon was shining through the clouds, and in some way it made Edward feel at home. Maybe it just reminded him of the nights spent on the Black Pearl, reminded him of Oswald. They ran across the town all the way to the docklands. Ironically, the prisons for the most notorious criminals – in their case, mostly pirates – were held right near the sea; it was almost torturous to be so near to what you loved yet unable to see or feel it. Quite a genius design, actually.

“Okay”, Isabella said, panting while leaning against a brick wall of a building. Edward was just as out of breath, holding his stomach with a grim expression. He really hoped the tissue hadn’t ripped during their sprinting. “Somehow we’re still not caught.”

“Are you saying... you didn’t trust my plan?” Edward huffed with a grin. Isabella rolled her eyes with a smile before looking around.

“Damn it”, she whispered and pointed towards the entrance of the prison. “That’s not one of the guards I made a deal with!”

“Oh dear.” Edward scratched his neck. “Well, we just have to improvise, then.”

“I’ll distract him. Get inside and grab Penguin”, Isabella hissed.

“How am I supposed to-“

“Trust me”, she interrupted. “I did it for you, do the same for me?”

“Okay”, Edward obliged with a nervous twitch. If what Isabella had told him was true, the three guards inside the corridors of the dungeons should be allies, not enemies. He watched as Isabella opened her jacket and ripped open the first few buttons of her shirt. “Oh. That kind of distraction.”

“Just go”, Isabella sighed before she ameliorated her bust and walked across the street to the young male guard. It didn’t take much of persuasion for the guard to obey and leave the doorway to its own accord. Edward snuck an apologetic glance in Isabella’s direction before she vanished with the man. Edward ran across the road and quickly picked the lock to the prison with Isabella’s hair clip. It was laughable how easy it was, especially remembering what kind of a control freak his father was. The staircase down to the labyrinth-like dungeons felt like a lifetime’s worth of walking. His heart jumped to his throat when he noticed movement further down the corridor. One of the guards spotted him standing there, but quickly turned his head away like he had never been there.

Although he had a map of where to go inside the compound, it still took him a while before he even found the correct corridor. How Isabella had navigated inside was a mystery to him. His nerves didn’t make things any easier. He was a hundred feet away from Oswald. Eighty. Fifty. Finally, he walked past a corner and jumped a bit when he noticed a man laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious. This was _not_ a part of their plan. He stepped forward carefully, observing the passed out guard. Well, actually, he wasn’t just passed out. The man was plain dead. His throat had been slit open and the blood was pouring out of the wound. It was a fresh cut.

“Edward?” He flinched again being called upon, but his brain had already recognized the voice. He looked dead ahead and his heart melt in an instant when he saw the man holding the bloody blade through the bars.

“Oswald.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a blast writing those letters, tbh :") i took inspiration of 05x12 with jeremiah's fake "oswald" letter to ed


	13. he's a pirate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was supposed to write this two days ago but got a massive migraine - i'm feeling better today so i shall bring the finale to you now!!

Although the lighting was very dim in the corridor, Edward could easily see the blood dripping from Oswald’s pale hands and the knife in his grip. The man looked bewildered, staring at Ed unblinkingly, corner of his mouth twitching. There was a clatter when the knife fell on the floor in the utter silence. Edward reacted on instinct and stepped over the dead guard, immediately rushing to grab the bars of Oswald’s cell.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Edward whispered, voice high with anxiety. “Why’d you kill him?!”

Oswald cradled Ed’s face in his bloodied hands, almost as if he didn’t believe the man was actually there in front of him. He leaned through the bars and pressed his lips against Edward’s into a feverish kiss. Though it wasn’t the answer Ed had been looking for, he didn’t necessarily complain, and instead grabbed Oswald’s wrists while kissing him back. Suddenly all the anxiety disappeared from his head. It was like he was in Heaven, even if just for a little moment.

When they pushed apart, Oswald looked at Edward with a dazed look. “That was so worth the wait”, he murmured and licked his lips hungrily. It sent shivers down Edward’s spine. “God, I missed you…”

“Likewise, but can you _please_ explain… that?” Edward said and pointed at the guard behind him. Oswald looked at the man and let out a soft ‘oh’.

“I got bored.”

“Bored”, Ed repeated and raised his eyebrows. “So you decided to just… kill a man?”

“I didn’t mean to _kill_ him! I thought the plan had gone haywire since it looked like you weren’t gonna show”, Oswald pouted, still refusing to let go of Ed’s face. Edward felt lightly disgusted with the blood falling down his face, but he didn’t have the heart to mention it since he had been waiting for this reunion for so long. “I just meant to rough him up a little but then he was gonna call for help and, well, I had to kill the guy.”

“I was really hoping we could get through this without bodies…”, Edward muttered, making Oswald laugh a little bit.

“You’re dealin’ with pirates, sweetheart”, he said softly and pecked his lips again. Edward had a hard time hiding his smile. He brushed his thumb across Oswald’s calloused knuckles before kissing his hand gently.

“I was so scared the plan would fail”, Ed admitted and frowned. “I don’t know what the hell I would’ve done if you had been hanged.”

Oswald’s smile didn’t fade. “Good thing I believed in you, then.”

“Yeah, clearly”, Edward said spitefully, glancing over his shoulder at the corpse again. Oswald grabbed his jaw and turned his head back.

“As much as I’d love to chat, can you get me out first?” he asked, clattering the bars for emphasis.

“Right”, Edward said and let go of Oswald. He walked back to the guard and flipped the body around – shuddering – so he could grab the keys from the man’s belt. It was a mystery why Oswald hadn’t just stolen them when he grabbed the guy, but he was not going to question Oswald’s strange ways of dealing with things. He returned to the cell with the keys and wiped the blood off his face with his sleeve. He was certain it left a mark, though.

As soon as the lock clicked open, Oswald burst through the doorway and jumped into an embrace. It was quite funny-looking since the pirate captain was so much shorter than Edward, but it was the last thing either of them cared about. Edward placed his hands on Oswald’s waist and squished the man closer to himself while Oswald wrapped his arms around Ed’s shoulders so tightly it hurt. Edward realized this was probably their first proper hug – sure, they’d kissed and cuddled a bit, but this felt new and strange; yet also so right and good.

Oswald refused to let go of Ed for quite some time, but at last they separated and Oswald looked at the brunette with a wide smile. “I forgot how tall you were”, he said, scaling the two of them with his eyes while still hanging from Ed’s shoulders. “And handsome”, he continued, kissing Edward again. “Mmm… So handsome”, he muttered against Ed’s lips.

“Your letters were so sweet”, Ed whispered, putting his lips against Oswald’s forehead and rocking them back and forth almost like they were dancing. “I mean, when one looked past the grammatical errors…”

“Hey!” Oswald pinched the other’s arm gently and pretended to be offended, but the smile was shining through like a torch in the dark. “I tried my damnest.”

“I know”, Edward reassured, smiling too, and brushed a strand of loose hairs from Oswald’s forehead. He finally got a good look at the man now that he wasn’t preoccupied with anything else than staring at him. He looked tired and pale – well, paler than usual if that was even humanly possible – and like he hadn’t eaten a thing since they last saw each other. Edward knew how poorly prisoners, especially pirates, were treated down here, but he had never seen it first-handed.

“Everything okay, sweetheart?” Oswald’s voice was sweet yet sensual, and he looked into Ed’s eyes with such observance. “You got a lil quiet there for a sec.”

“Oh!” Edward returned to Earth with a quick nod and replaced his frown with a smile. “Yes, everything is okay. Just… wanted to look at you, now that I can.” Oswald blushed a bit, but he also had a proud grin on his face.

“I look fuckin’ awful and smell the part, too, but thanks”, he said, running his hands up and down Ed’s shoulders. Edward gave him a slanted smile and shook his head to indicate that he disagreed with the statement. Oswald decided it had been too long since the last time their lips met and went in for another kiss – once again, Ed simply could not refuse to kiss him back. It was like a curse, but in the best way possible.

“We have a problem!” Edward almost threw Oswald across the hallway when he heard the shout behind him. He turned around, bewildered, and stared at Isabella who was running towards him in the corridor. She was pale, her ponytail was open and her white pants were splattered with blood. She had the knife in her hand, also gleaming red.

“What have you done?” Edward’s voice wavered when Isabella stopped in front of them and tried to catch her breath.

“I- I didn’t want to actually mess with the guard so I tried to keep him distracted but he caught on and we had a fight and I ended up maybe stabbing him with this and, oh…” Her voice trailed off when she saw the dead man lying on the ground.

“So much for ‘ _getting out of this without bodies’_ ”, Oswald said, quoting Edward’s earlier words.

“He’s not dead! That’s the problem”, Isabella said, putting the knife in her belt. “I stabbed him but he’s still alive and he’s-“

“Hey! You!”

The voice at the end of the corridor startled all of them; the guard from the doorway was stumbling closer to them, holding his bleeding shoulder. He raised a sword, pointing at Isabella specifically. “Fucking bitch, you’re going to regret this.”

Before Edward had a chance to say a word, Isabella had already snatched both her knife as well as the one Oswald had used earlier, and stood between Ed and the guard, the blades pointed at the latter. “Nobody calls me a bitch and gets away with it, sir”, she said almost cheerfully. And then, surprising everyone, flung the knife through the air like a boomerang – except it didn’t return to Isabella, and instead hit the guard right on the other shoulder. The man screamed in pain and the grasp on his sword slackened, making it clatter to the ground.

Just as Isabella approached the man, knife raised, another man ran into the corridor. “Why is there so much traffic here?” Oswald muttered and in another situation Edward might had giggled at that. The man standing at the end of the hallway was one that Ed recognized; Lieutenant Alvarez from The Executioner. He gave Isabella no time to react before he already plunged forward and impaled the guard with his sword.

“Ah! Just in time, Carlos”, Isabella said like they’d been planning this the whole time. She swiped the blood off her knife on Alvarez’s coat and smiled.

“Of course”, the tan male nodded, putting his sword away.

“What?!” Oswald was the first to spoke after a moment of silence. He was nearly trembling from the sheer confusion. “What the fuck just happened?”

“Oh my God it’s YOU!” sounded another voice behind Ed and Oswald’s backs. Edward turned to look at Zsasz, whose existence he only now realized. The bald man was grasping the bars of his cell and staring at Alvarez with pure bliss.

“I thought you were asleep!” Oswald squealed, clearly startled by the fact that Victor had been there the whole time with no input. “Wait- were you watching us?!”

“Maybe”, Zsasz shrugged. “But now the scenery just got reeeeeal nice”, he kept on and winked at Alvarez who sighed melodramatically.

“I am so confused”, Edward informed the rest of the group. He was still holding Oswald’s waist, and honestly had no intention of letting go although it seemed a little weird now.

“Carlos is with me, and I made sure that if things went downhill, he’d be there to keep me safe”, Isabella said with a proud grin.

“That is so unfair!!” Zsasz whined, clattering the bars. “Also, could someone _please_ get me out of here?”

“Sorry”, Edward uttered and finally let go of Oswald in order to free Zsasz from the cell. Victor pat him on the shoulder as a quick thank you before running over to Alvarez. Edward was feeling still dazed with adrenaline from everything that had happened in the past 10 minutes and couldn’t focus on Alvarez shouting about how Zsasz smelt like rotten flesh and how his mouth was bloody.

“We should really get going”, Alvarez said after finally getting Zsasz under control (a kiss had done it). “The guards rotate in a few minutes and I do not want to be here when that happens.”

“He’s right, Edward”, Isabella tuned in a nodded. “What’s the next part of the plan?”

“Uhh”, Edward mumbled gracefully, “get to the docks. Get a ship. Go?”

“You really haven’t planned this through at all, have you?” Alvarez said with a resigned expression.

“Well I’m sorry! It’s my first time planning a heist to free a heinous criminal or two and steal a vessel.”

“Let’s just get the fuck outta here, yeah?” Oswald suggested, taking Ed’s hand in a calming manner and squeezing softly. Everyone gave some sort of an affirmative response, whether it be a nod or a grunt, and they left the scene of the crime with two bodies behind them.

They got out of the hideous corridors without much trouble – Alvarez actually knew where he was going, unlike the rest of them – and they only stopped rushing once the cool night air hit them in the face on the outside of the dungeons. Oswald inhaled the air like he hadn’t breathed in years and stretched like a cat. “Man, the immobility does not treat my leg nicely”, he murmured and rubbed the point where his flesh turned to wood.

“Boohoo, do you want us to carry you?” Alvarez asked, words sharp as daggers. He was the only one of them that was completely on guard and alerted, glancing around them in an anxious manner.

“What ship are you gonna take?” Zsasz inquired with a long yawn. Of course someone like him would get bored in a life-or-death-situation.

“I want The Executioner”, Oswald replied before Edward could.

“What?” both Edward and Alvarez exclaimed in unison, staring at Oswald like he had a third arm. “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard”, Alvarez continued since Edward had suddenly lost the ability to construct coherent sentences.

“I’m sure Jim won’t mind”, Oswald snarled and took Ed by the hand. “Right, Eddie?”

“I… don’t think that is a great idea…”, Edward muttered, trying to teach himself how to speak again. Oswald sensed his anxiety, and his self-confident smile faded a little.

“Whatever”, he obliged. “I’m gettin’ the Pearl back anyway, I don’t care about that right now.”

“You’re lucky if you can even snatch a longboat”, Alvarez said, glancing towards the docks. “The vessels are always guarded.”

“Well, actually”, Isabella chimed in with a knowing smirk, “I mostly took care of that.”

“I don’t even know your name yet I kinda wanna kiss you right now”, Zsasz declared.

“She’s into girls, sorry”, Edward interrupted before the situation could get out of hand and turned to address the whole group. “We can’t stay here out in the open. Let’s decide on a plan and do so fast. First of all, who are even coming with me and Oswald?”

“I would love to, but I have some unfinished business”, Isabella said apologetically. “And, well, I’ve heard a woman on the ship is bad luck, so…”

“Well obviously Zsasz is coming with me”, Oswald said. “Right?”

“About that…”, Victor said, voice trailing off at the same time as he averted his eyes away from Oswald. Oswald’s eyes widened and he looked shocked once again. “I’m not comin’, Boss.”

“What?!” Oswald shouted, immediately getting punched in the arm by Alvarez in order to keep him quiet. “What do you mean you’re not comin’? We’re a team! Like family”, he continued, rubbing his arm.

“Don’t get me wrong, Ozzie, I love you and all but… Okay, fuck it, I wanna stay with Alvarez”, Zsasz blurted out bluntly. He grabbed the tan-skinned man by the wrist for emphasis and scooted as close to him as possible.

“Seriously? Your one week crush?” Oswald rolled his eyes in disbelief.

“I don’t think you can judge that”, Isabella said, eyeing Edward meaningfully. The brunette blushed, while Oswald just looked disappointed. He closed his eyes for a moment before looking at Zsasz.

“I understand”, he said and caught everyone by surprise – Victor especially.

“Wait- you do?”

“Yeah”, Oswald sighed, “I mean, Isabella said it. Love’s weird. And if you feel like followin’ your heart now that you can, I ain’t stoppin’ you. Just be careful, alright? You two aren’t really meant to be together.”

“We’re like Romeo and Juliet”, Zsasz stated with a spark of excitement in his voice. Alvarez rubbed his temples, deciding on not asking which one of them was which. Victor’s expression shifted from devious to genuine in a split second, and he stepped forward, grabbing Oswald’s hand. “Thanks”, he said sincerely. “Really, I mean it.”

“I meant what I said too”, Oswald said before grinning. “But if you dare to get your dumbass killed, I will sail back to Gotham and murder you.”

“That’s contradictory”, Edward muttered, but Zsasz just laughed.

“That sounds like a deal”, he said, shaking Oswald’s hand before pulling him into an embrace. Oswald’s breath hitched and he whined a little when Zsasz’s bear hug crushed his bones, but he still hugged the bald man back. They stayed like that for a little while before pulling apart. “I’ll miss you, man”, Victor said with seemingly genuine tears in his dark eyes. Oswald rolled his eyes, trying to mask the glimmering in his good eye.

“This isn’t farewell”, he said. “Our paths will cross again, friend.”

“Well, shit.” Zsasz swiped his eyes. “That’s real poetic.”

They said their final goodbyes before Zsasz and Alvarez disappeared into the night. Edward was still kind of flabbergasted by the sight of them together – the last he’d heard Alvarez had a wife and a child? – but perhaps Ed himself wasn’t the only one who needed to run away from their previous life. He looked after them for a long while, but Isabella’s voice brought him back to the present.

“I made a deal with Commander Gordon”, she said out of nowhere. Oswald choked on thin air and looked at her like she had just announced on being pregnant.

“What kind of deal?” Edward was quick to ask.

“He’ll help you two out of Gotham. You’re going to take off on Birdham.”

“Ha ha, I get it. _Bird_ ham, Penguin. Funny”, Oswald said without a sprinkle of humour in his voice, but the rest of the information seemed thrilling to him. “Why did Jim agree to that?”

“He said he had promised you a favour and knew you’d probably try to cash in the moment you were reunited. So, consider that favour granted”, Isabella explained at a fast pace.

“Fair enough”, Oswald shrugged, seeming content with the way things were going. “Let’s get to my new baby, then.”

James Gordon was already waiting for them at the pier, face illuminated by the light of a torch. He had raised a gun when he heard footsteps coming his way, but lowered it as soon as he recognized the trio hurrying to the port. “Took you long enough, Miss”, he said to Isabella who was in front of him before Ed or Oswald.

“Sorry”, Isabella said shortly without explaining herself. “We’re here now, though. That’s all that matters, right?”

Gordon was about to respond, but he closed his mouth in irritation when Oswald pushed Isabella aside and started speaking instead. “Where is the ship? I don’t have time for small talk, Jim.”

“Those are some bold words coming from someone who was a couple days away from hanging”, Jim snarled back, but raised his hand before Oswald could start fighting back. “Follow me. The last thing we need is for someone to catch us.”

He led the three of them towards a medium-sized ship located right at the end of the pier, all ready to leave the docklands. Birdham was not the most glorious vessel Edward had seen, but certainly better than a normal cruise ship. Oswald was examining the outer decor with a critical eye, but seemed relatively satisfied.

“Needs a name change and a paint job, but it’ll do”, he said when Edward stepped next to him. “Right?”

“You’re asking me?” Ed asked with a small huff of laughter.

“Well it’s our ship, so duh”, Oswald replied, taking Edward’s hand in his. Ed’s heart did a backflip. _Their ship_. Did that mean he was also a captain, then? Whatever Oswald meant by it, it brought Edward joy.

“What were you thinking for a name?” Edward inquired right as Jim lowered a plank of wood and let the two of them on the dock.

“That’s easy”, Oswald said with a smile. “Saintess Gertrud.”

“What’s… the significance?” Edward asked, following Oswald up the stairs to access the wheel.

“Oh. After my mother”, Oswald said, realizing he had never mentioned his mother’s name to Edward. Ed’s face shifted from confusion to realization, and he nodded with a smile.

“Sounds perfect to me”, he said. Jim joined them on the quarter deck and interrupted their chat.

“Do not mess this up, Penguin”, he said, catching Oswald’s attention. “All you have left to do is sail out of the port. Think you can handle that?”

“Who do you take me for, Jim? I’m no amateur”, Oswald rolled his eyes melodramatically and grabbed the wheel for emphasis. “You can leave now. Thanks.”

“Thank you for all your help”, Edward said much more genuinely than Oswald had. Jim nodded and pat him on the forearm before giving a piercing look at Oswald and turning away to leave. Edward watched the blonde man walk off the ship and pull the plank off. He cut off the thick robe that had been holding the ship in place and glanced at the two of them for one last time. And then they were alone.

“Okay then”, Edward said. His voice was weak and small, and it resonated well with the way he was currently feeling. He’d been so preoccupied with coming up with the plan and worrying about Oswald that he hadn’t actually thought about the seriousness of what was happening until now that it was quiet and he watched Port Gotham slowly starting to disappear behind them. Oswald had no issue controlling the ship even without a crew to aid him – he truly was no amateur like he’d said.

“Talk to me, Edward”, he broke the silence after a few minutes. Edward turned to look at him and sighed.

“This is scary.”

“I know.” Oswald looked at Edward deep in the eyes. “I can turn around if you want to.”

“No!” Edward immediately exclaimed and put his hand on top of Oswald’s on the wheel. “No way in Hell.”

Oswald grinned. “That’s the spirit, pirate”, he said and nudged Ed with his hip.

“I guess I really _am_ a pirate”, Edward said, only realizing it now. What he had done certainly classified as piracy in the eyes of the law. Something in that made his stomach tingle, made him almost feel like he was in love; or maybe that part was just the fact that Oswald was giving him the prettiest smile ever.

“Will you miss Gotham?” Oswald asked.

“No.” Ed’s smile was gone, and he stared into the horizon with dark eyes. “I don’t care about Gotham. I feel absolutely nothing for those drab boring people.” He looked at Oswald, who was observing him with curiosity.

“Yes”, he said slowly, tilting his head a bit.

“I’m tired of it! Tired of all of it”, Ed snapped, and threw his arms in the air. “All those courtesies and boring ballrooms. ‘ _Hello, sir. It’s so nice to meet you, sir. Thank you so much, sir.’_ Nothing but useless lies and bigotry! Never. Again.”

“You’ve shown this city who you truly are now, Ed”, Oswald said in an encouraging manner. “And one day you will do it again.” He grabbed Ed’s arm, leaving the wheel to its own accords.

“They will bow down to the two of us – hell, not even just Gotham; the whole fuckin’ world.”

“And they won’t get up until we permit them to”, Edward murmured, staring into Oswald’s eye intensely. Oswald’s nails dug into Ed’s arm, sending goosebumps down his whole body.

“Yes. You’re right”, Oswald whispered, breath ghosting on Edward’s jaw. “Our accomplishments have been erased and our minds underrated for far too long.”

“We are stronger together, Oswald”, Edward’s voice was barely audible. “No one can stop us now.”

“Let’s make a pact, right here and right now”, Oswald grabbed both of Edward’s shoulders, looking at him with pure determination and lust. “We will take what we want from who we want, and we will suffer no fools.”

“Together”, they said simultaneously. Edward grinned.

“Shall we shake on that?”

“Please”, Oswald said with a smirk, standing on his tiptoes and leaning against Ed. “Let’s seal it with a kiss.”

Edward didn’t need to be told twice. He immediately leaned in and grabbed Oswald by the waist, pulling him into a deep kiss. It was more heated and desperate than any of their previous kisses. Mouths wildly exploring one another, tongue sliding against teeth, hands grabbing anything they could get themselves on. Oswald moaned into the kiss, fists full of Edward’s loose shirt. Edward’s fingers tangled in Oswald’s raven locks, pushing their heads against each other so hard it hurt.

Finally, they pulled apart, both of then panting and gasping for air. Oswald’s eye had teared up again and he looked up at Edward’s reddened face like he was God incarnated. That level of admiration was something Ed was keen on getting more of. He ran his hands back and forth on Oswald’s thin waist, smiling maliciously. He stole one more kiss from the shorter man before opening his mouth.

“Shall we get to work?”

Oswald grinned, pressing his forehead against Edward’s.

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” He brushed some of the dried blood off Edward’s face. “What’s your first order, Captain?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pheeeeeew! there it is! i can't believe it's… finished?!??!?!?!  
> i've never finished a fanfic before, and i truly hope you enjoyed the ending as much as i did :") thank you SO much for reading!!  
> it was a little scary writing the last couple of chapters because i kept thinking "oh no, what if people are disappointed in the ending?" but i know i have the best readers ever and that you guys would respect whatever path i take :>  
> little secret; the fic was originally going to end with the chapter "blood ritual", with edward bleeding out in the cave and dying on oswald's arms but i simply couldn't bring myself to kill him off! ;o;
> 
> i have a couple of ideas for future fics, but i would love to hear what you guys would like to read from me next! ive been thinking of a jim x ed fic for a few days now (with possible nygmob endgame) but... i dont knowwwwwww


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